It's time to re-write the rule book on raising a child. Based on over 700 scientific studies into children's development, BMA award-winning author and child psychotherapist Dr. Margot Sunderland explains how to develop your child's potential to the full. Find out the truth about popular childcare tactics, how touch, laughter and play build emotional wellbeing for life, and the strategies for effectively dealing with temper tantrums and tears. This is the first practical parenting book to give you the facts, not the fiction on the best way to bring up your child, essential for any parent.
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"The author, a child psychologist and director of training at the Centre for Child Mental Health in London, explains the science without losing sight of the realities of raising a child" Mother & Baby 01/07/06
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First prize winner in the Popular Medicine Category of the 2007 BMA Medical Book Awards
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
48 of 50 people found the following review helpful
By G. Groom
Format:Paperback
What's the difference between a distressed fit of crying and a controlling 'little Nero' tantrum? How does letting a very young baby cry itself to sleep release harmful body chemicals and discourage trust? How do loving, nurturing behaviours coupled with firm boundaries make for a harmonious relationship with your child?
These and many other questions answered.
There are so many old wives' tales around when it comes to raising your baby and child that this book, by a responsible and caring child psychologist, helps you work out sensible solutions. Are doctors and health visitors always right when giving advice on the emotional health of your baby or does an expert in attachment perhaps have better answers? This book helps you decide and become an empowered parent. It puts the child centre stage because the early experiences of a baby set patterns for life. At the same time, it honours the needs of mothers, who need love, support and community. I hope this is the way parenting will progress in future years.
Please read this book if you are pregnant or a new mother... it's very helpful...
These and many other questions answered.
There are so many old wives' tales around when it comes to raising your baby and child that this book, by a responsible and caring child psychologist, helps you work out sensible solutions. Are doctors and health visitors always right when giving advice on the emotional health of your baby or does an expert in attachment perhaps have better answers? This book helps you decide and become an empowered parent. It puts the child centre stage because the early experiences of a baby set patterns for life. At the same time, it honours the needs of mothers, who need love, support and community. I hope this is the way parenting will progress in future years.
Please read this book if you are pregnant or a new mother... it's very helpful...
89 of 95 people found the following review helpful
By Ellie
Format:Hardcover
In a world where one is bombarded by conflicting advice about what is best for my child (sleep routines, behaviour, tantrums, etc.), this book is like a breath of fresh air. Unlike those thousands of opinion based parenting books, which have no scientific evidence to corroborate those opinions, The Science of Parenting is packed with useful advice, backed up with literally hundreds of scientific studies.
The author conveys what are quite complex scientific concepts in easy to understand language, diagrams and she uses examples of behaviour that I have seen in my own child.
It's so refreshing to see something solid and different from the same old baby books, and it's a fascinating read!
The author conveys what are quite complex scientific concepts in easy to understand language, diagrams and she uses examples of behaviour that I have seen in my own child.
It's so refreshing to see something solid and different from the same old baby books, and it's a fascinating read!
54 of 60 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
Most of this book is excellent and I would recommend it very highly but for one very important chapter: All about discipline.
The author simply has no idea of the difference between punishments and consequences - and it is a crucial difference that parents must understand if they are to discipline with love and kindness.
A consequence is something that repairs damage or makes restitution in some way. A punishment, on the other hand, extracts retribution.
Assume that your child writes on the wall. A consequence of this would be that she has to clean it up. An alternative consequence may be that she has to sit in a chair in silence while watching an obviously irritated Dad clean it up. A punishment would be something like not allowing her to watch a TV program or something else completely unrelated to the "crime."
The crucial difference is that children will accept and learn from consequences but will inevitably resent punishments.
(And it should be noted that "Time Out" is a punishment. You are thinking that your child in "Time Out" is considering the error of her ways. She is, in fact, seething inside at the injustice you have heaped upon her. She may come out of "Time Out" a bit calmer, but I promise you that she is no wiser.)
Apart from this, the book is very good and makes clear explanations of the neuroscience behind children's development and how best to help your children grow up into happy and healthy individuals.
The author simply has no idea of the difference between punishments and consequences - and it is a crucial difference that parents must understand if they are to discipline with love and kindness.
A consequence is something that repairs damage or makes restitution in some way. A punishment, on the other hand, extracts retribution.
Assume that your child writes on the wall. A consequence of this would be that she has to clean it up. An alternative consequence may be that she has to sit in a chair in silence while watching an obviously irritated Dad clean it up. A punishment would be something like not allowing her to watch a TV program or something else completely unrelated to the "crime."
The crucial difference is that children will accept and learn from consequences but will inevitably resent punishments.
(And it should be noted that "Time Out" is a punishment. You are thinking that your child in "Time Out" is considering the error of her ways. She is, in fact, seething inside at the injustice you have heaped upon her. She may come out of "Time Out" a bit calmer, but I promise you that she is no wiser.)
Apart from this, the book is very good and makes clear explanations of the neuroscience behind children's development and how best to help your children grow up into happy and healthy individuals.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
By G.Goldina
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
This book is a handy manual that takes you from essential advice during babyhood right up to school age children. The great majority of the book is geared towards toddlerhood, but parents with babies will also find they can read a few chapters and find some useful advice for the future, such as child-care which usually needs to be planned well in advance.
All the advice in the book is taken from the latest scientific evidence on the subject. In fact, similar to a real scientific paper, the book backs up most of its claims on right and wrong, with specific papers, which you can look up in the references section at the back of the book.
The book is easy and fast to read. You can pick and choose the chapters, and even the pages, which are relevant to you, as each point in the book is pretty much self-sufficient.
In summary of most of the chapters, the book can be split into two main sections. One talks about how to best deal with crying/tantrums, and the other, how to love/play with your child. The other miscellaneous topics talk about sleep and looking after yourself.
The overall philosophy of the book can be easily summarised in the following way: Always respond with love and kindness to your child, as it is crucial for their brain development. Parenting which is unresponsive or doesn't take the child's feelings seriously, can result in problems in later life, such as an inability to deal with stress or drug and alcohol abuse.
All the advice in the book is taken from the latest scientific evidence on the subject. In fact, similar to a real scientific paper, the book backs up most of its claims on right and wrong, with specific papers, which you can look up in the references section at the back of the book.
The book is easy and fast to read. You can pick and choose the chapters, and even the pages, which are relevant to you, as each point in the book is pretty much self-sufficient.
In summary of most of the chapters, the book can be split into two main sections. One talks about how to best deal with crying/tantrums, and the other, how to love/play with your child. The other miscellaneous topics talk about sleep and looking after yourself.
The overall philosophy of the book can be easily summarised in the following way: Always respond with love and kindness to your child, as it is crucial for their brain development. Parenting which is unresponsive or doesn't take the child's feelings seriously, can result in problems in later life, such as an inability to deal with stress or drug and alcohol abuse.
32 of 36 people found the following review helpful
By abc58
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
This book is fantastic- Really practical and interesting and seems well backed up by research. I finished it within 48 hours as I couldn't put it down, and am about to buy it for a number of friends and family. Instinct isn't all you need to be an excellent parent and really good advice helps iron out any faulty thinking you may have picked up. I am intending to make some adjustments straight away. The author makes sense.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
An insight into the brain of your baby and toddler
Another book that should be given out to all parents by the NHS or studied in schools. This book helps parents understand how their child is developing emotionally and does it all... Read more
Published 20 days ago by ALLY MACDONALD
5.0 out of 5 stars
Every parent should know what is in this book!
Ignore the negative reviews, EVERY parent needs to know whats in this book. This book will help ensure you don't have any regrets with your children. Read more
Published 27 days ago by Missewla
5.0 out of 5 stars
A love child will be a healthy adult
Excellent book for new and not new parents to read. As express by the author the importans of close physical contact with our children, to develope a healthy physical and... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Josefa Lopez
2.0 out of 5 stars
Hated it!
This book made me feel like everything I did was harmful to my child. It is great for the science stuff but goes a bit overboard with the negative stuff.
Published 1 month ago by misspm
5.0 out of 5 stars
What every parent should read!
A fantastic book; recommended to me by a friend and one I would certainly also now recommend to every parent - and grandparent. None of us are too old to learn!
Published 2 months ago by Macmuffin
5.0 out of 5 stars
Hugely informative
I was recommended this book by my midwife and I'm so pleased I've bought it. It's a very informative read indeed - combines the science of baby's development with parenting tips in... Read more
Published 3 months ago by LittleManx
5.0 out of 5 stars
Makes you think
Absolutely amazing book. Really makes you think about how you are brining your children up and reflect on how you were brought up. Highly recommend it.
Published 4 months ago by nat5455
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent
Excellent text book or parental guide - fits both perfectly in an non patronising and fully researched manner. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Queenie75
5.0 out of 5 stars
Brilliant
As a Nursery manager and a parent I have to recommend this book. Finally, the answer as to why our children behave the way they do. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Mrs. Vhc Payne
4.0 out of 5 stars
informative book
a really good read for a new parent. the book is colourful and is an easy read despite being full of research. been helpful. good book for students and parents.
Published 4 months ago by michelle best
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