The Satanic Testament [Paperback]

This book is written by (yet another) self-styled "Satanic Philosopher", self-ordained "Satanist" and self-opinionated "Satanic expert". It is yet another manifestation of the phenomenon of Pseudo-Satanism, which is basically a genre of self-published text-books, manuals and tracts - each one so unambiguously, arrogantly and blatantly ripping-off the great, original writings of Anton LaVey that it makes one seriously wonder if Copyright Law still exists. The online, self-publishing avenue means that just about any giftless get can now call himself a "Satanist", publish his own "Diabolical Manifesto" and then sit back and bask in ego-fuelled self-delusion.

According to the blurb, the author of "The Satanic Testament", Alexandrue Lucifer Ravensloft LeGivorden - (and if that's his real name then I'll eat my inverted crucifix) - is "an ordained Reverend in the Satanic religion". In careful consideration of the 1001 different sects, orders, covens and other collectives that each claim to be a "Satanic Group" nowadays, this statement could mean just about anything. One thing is absolutely certain: "Lucifer" ain't no Satanist in the authentic, LaVeyan sense, and the idea that any character of his ilk could ever be a Registered Member - let alone a Reverend - in the Church of Satan is about as likely as my catching veneral disease from a Martian. We are also told that "Lucifer" used to be "a Wiccan High Priest" before deciding to become a Satanist. Well, nobody decides to become a Satanist. Besides which (or should that be 'Witch'?) anybody who would actually "defect" from Wicca to Satanism is advertising the fact that they comprehend everything about Wicca but nothing about Satanism.

This hotchpotch of unoriginal, extremely derivative scribblings actually begins with an (unintentionally) informative section called: "The Creeds Of Satanism", where "Lucifer" compares several different lists of doctrinal statements, written by the heads of several different Satanic Groups. The idea of this is to illustrate the "differences in doctrinal thought" to the reader, which are assumed to exist "within Satanism". Despite the notion that there exist many "various forms" of Satanism being complete and utter balderdash, this section displays the extent to which Anton LaVey's "Nine Satanic Statements" have been mercilessly plundered and appropriated by others.

After this, the book goes emphatically and inexorably downhill: "Lucifer" has an obsession about the existence of what he repeatedly refers to as "The Satanic Community": something that - in reality - does not exist. By definition, a Satanist is an Outsider; an Exile; an Individualist. The fact that people feel the incessant need to huddle together (like the herd animals they are) is one of the most repugnant, repellant aspects of human nature to a genuine Satanist. The completely oxymoronic term "Satanic Community" is diametrically opposed to the force of independence and Individualism that lies at the very heart of the concept of Satan. Innumerable, dysfunctional, angry assembly-line "dress-in-black Diabolists" and "professional rebels" who flock to the 1001 online Goth/Black Metal chat-rooms and "Satan Fan-Clubs" in existence nowadays is NOT a "Satanic Community": it is a virtual delusion that panders to the herd instinct that draws collectivist, weak and frightened people together, and which has arbitrarily and amusingly been dubbed "The Satanic Community". It is a meaningless name which has been given to an idealistic, phantom concept.

Read on, and we have guidelines for the ritual sacrifice of an animal as a part of an alleged Satanic Ceremony. Clearly "Lucifer" has about as much in-depth knowledge of genuine Satanism as does a hobo about making millions. The actual view of real, bona fide Satanists towards hurting, torturing or harming animals in any way - let alone sacrificing them in a ritual - is that the perpetrators of such vile, mindless, sub-moronic acts should have dealt out to them precisely what they have inflicted upon the animal.

The rest of this offering is a clear Anton LaVey rip-off: right up to the "Rituals of Initiation & Ordainment" appendices, the source for this allegedly being "The Grotto Masters Handbook", written by... (you guessed it!): "Anon". Try LaVey's "Satanic Rituals" for the real source of the "inspiration". After repeatedly criticising, denouncing and accusing the Original & Genuine throughout his book, "Lucifer" nevertheless sees fit here to casually reproduce the Church of Satan's very own, fully copyrighted Symbol of Baphomet.

The 21st Century's sad, talentless breed of self-styled, self-published Pseudo Satanists (in which "Lucifer" has here unambiguously declared himself a major player), stubbornly insist that their writings are "invaluable contributions" to what they claim is a Satanism of different strands, takes, philosophies and other Left-Hand Path "traditions" that simply do not exist - while each ripping-off Anton LaVey up to the hilt to make a buck and jerking-off at the sight of their "groundbreaking Satanic works" appearing in (self-published) print. The Unholy Truth is that there are NO 57 varieties, branches or denominations of Satanism: There is only the One, Original and Genuine codification of Satanism as formulated by Anton Szandor LaVey and enshrined in the Church of Satan. The 57 varieties are of 3rd rate emulators, imitators, copyists, con-artists, rip-off merchants and outright Pseudo-Satanists. This is not an extreme, uncompromising or absolutist viewpoint; nor is it unrealistic or idealistic: It is a long-established, well recognized, solid and irrefutable fact.