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The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right Hardcover – Feb 1995


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Frequently Bought Together

The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right + The New Rules: The dating dos and don'ts for the digital generation from the bestselling authors of The Rules
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Product details

  • Hardcover: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Warner Books (NY) (Feb 1995)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0446518131
  • ISBN-13: 978-0446518130
  • Product Dimensions: 14 x 1.4 x 21.6 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (83 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 158,929 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

About the Author

Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider have helped countless unmarried women find marital bliss. Ellen is studing for her Masters in social work and Sherrie is a freelance journalist. They have become chat show regulars and household names in the USA.

--This text refers to the Paperback edition.

Inside This Book (Learn More)
First Sentence
No one seems to remember exactly how The Rules got started, but we think they began circa 1917 with Melanie's grandmother who made men wait nervously in her parent's parlor in a small suburb of Michigan. Read the first page
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Customer Reviews

4.2 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

43 of 44 people found the following review helpful By Bobookfan on 24 July 2010
Format: Mass Market Paperback
At 33 I had lived with 3 previous partners and even had a child by my ex partner. I decided to read the rules because I never seemed to get man to treat me the way I wanted, not mess me around, cheat - usual stuff! I read the book and some of it is laugh out loud stuff as it seems so old fashioned. However, I met a guy on a ski trip and instead of being my usual keen self I followed the rules and held back - even doing the simple stuff suggested in the book. Well what can I say, after 9 months of dating (yes dating - not moving in together) we became engaged, married 6 months after that, living together shortly after that and now happier than I've ever been.

The main principle of the book is spot on, but use your common sense as which parts are a bit far fetched. Sime reviewers say that you aren't presenting your true self and you are duping a man into marrying you by game playing. You're not, you are still you and any man can see clearly the girl he is dating. All you're doing is not giving too much away and making him do the chasing. Dating is a game whatever way you look at it. This way you're in control and can weadle out the ones who aren't willing to go the extra mile for you.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Danni on 4 July 2011
Format: Mass Market Paperback Verified Purchase
OMG girls it really works !!!!Absolutely great so far, my only regret is that i didn't read this 10 years ago !!!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Sehrah on 20 Nov 2011
Format: Mass Market Paperback Verified Purchase
Just finished reading this book (yes i don't have a saturday date right now, but have a guy texting me about liking another ex-girl mate of mine even though this guy told me 2 months ago he'd liked me for the 3 years we were uni students bleh bleh..usual drama! haha!). I guess this book has helped empower me and really given me alot of hope and reassurance that it's about being independent, sassy and as they say "a creature like no other!". I admit some of it can be hard to implement but i'm going to keep re-reading it and reminding myself IT WORKS and to keep following it! I have already noticed by holding back a little, the more certain men seem to pursue/call/text. It's fantastic! It's annoying if you feel you break a rule but we get better with practise, and the great thing is at least now we can see where the rule-breaking is happening, whereas alot of women out there are still in denial! We are an intelligent bunch of rules girls ;). I really look forward to using this and seeing where it leads now, and even more so in the new year! Some of what you read in the book you relate to so much and think "omg that sounds like me", or "wow, my best boy mate is like that!" and it gives great advice how to act rationally rather than emotionally to ensure we get that ring on our finger! All in all, it's girly, insightful and very empowering :) I already can see the men that are worth it now and the ones that clearly aren't!! FANTASTIC- BUY IT!! It's no-nonsense girl spice which we all need (seriously us girls can be too naive at times!).
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24 of 27 people found the following review helpful By Oceanflower on 8 May 2011
Format: Mass Market Paperback
This book (in conjunction with "He's Just Not That Into You") broke my belief that I was worthless. It showed me some practical steps I could take in order to wait for a man who thought highly of me. I read this book when I was 40 and had just finished a 4 year relationship with an unemployed waster who bullied me and eventually pushed me over and raised his fist ready to punch me in the face. The only other relationship I'd had was a one-year relationship with another unemployed waster, but who was a sweet man simply going nowhere. All my other "relationships" were one or two week affairs where I would drop everything and be at the man's beck and call.

I transformed myself and my life and, feeling very embarrassed and self-conscious and thinking that no man would bother to wait for me if I wasn't readily available, I nevertheless followed the rules. The most beautiful and perfect, kind, lovely and successful man wooed me, and we are still together and so very, very happy after 4 lovely years. I still struggle with a lack of confidence but he has helped me to know that despite my reservations, I am really worthwhile and I'm about to set up my own business.

I can see why people criticise this book for suggesting that you play games, or manipulate men. But for me it was simply showing me in a practical way how I could act to give the impression that I had some self-respect, and as a result I was treated with respect, and grew to have self-respect.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Carole on 22 Mar 2012
Format: Mass Market Paperback Verified Purchase
One of my friend recommend this book to me. Not only I loved it, but I have offered it to all of my single friends who are struggling to fing the right person. In this book, they give you sensible advices of how to act to attract men and to have more respect for yourself. If a man has your number and doesn't call you, it is not because he lost his phone or has been kidnappped by aliens, it is just because he IS NOT interested in you ! so the best you can do is to forget him and to carry on....this is not easy to accept but this is so true. This book will save us lots of time :-) It is fun and interesting...I really recommend it !
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful By luvstoread on 23 Jan 2008
Format: Mass Market Paperback
The Rules are a bit like a good timepiece. It always makes sense to come back to these after playing the field a little. I really do think this book has a lot of good advice to offer. Also, I liked and would recommend another called "Dating Sense--the practical way...". Both, together, can help any girl get a better dating game.
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