The Road to Ruin (Dortmunder Novels) [Hardcover]

Over many years the world's most pessimistic thief has been hilariously unlucky, occasionally successful but always entertaining as he has put together some imaginative heists. I'm talking about John Dortmunder, creation of Donald Westlake, who first appeared back in 1970 in THE HOT ROCK and is back in the 11th book in the series, THE ROAD TO RUIN.

In this outing John Dortmunder and his crew targets Monroe Hall's classic car collection. Monroe Hall is a pariah. He has recently been caught robbing his own company blind and is now in seclusion within his sprawling compound with his wife, security guards and various collections that include cuckoo clocks, chess sets, rare books and music boxes. In fact, the man collects just about everything. The only thing he seems unable to collect is servants who don't want anything to do with him - after all, he's a pariah.

So, as I mentioned, there's a classic car collection just begging to be stolen. The main problem confronting Dortmunder is the electric fence that stands between him and the cars. This problem is closely followed by the problem posed by the security guards manning the front gates. But Dortmunder is an ideas man, problem solving is his specialty and once again he comes up with a novel solution to their entry problem. So the heist is a goer - nothing can possibly go wrong.

Unknown to Dortmunder and his crew is a fly in their ointment that is sure to spoil their carefully thought out heist. Monroe Hall is such a rotter that he has made enemies up, down and sideways all waiting their chance to try to wring some of the money he took back out of him. They're faced with much the same problem as Dortmunder, namely getting to Hall. You see, he's such a pariah (do you get the idea that he's a pariah yet?) that he never leaves his compound making it difficult for the waiting ex-business partners and union workers to get to him. So while Dortmunder is executing his plan, these other blokes, better described as blundering fools actually, are making their own devious plans.

Naturally, the opposing plans are destined to come crashing together which is sure to cause all manner of uproar, mayhem and general hilarity. From book to book, the general premise hasn't changed in the Dortmunder series, that is, a can't-miss caper is planned down to the last detail only to be upset by some unforeseen circumstance. The pleasure in the books lies in Donald Westlake's uncanny ability to deliver off-beat characters, scathingly brilliant comedic dialogue, cleverly devised crimes and imaginative solutions to his problems.

Although this book comes late in the series, it can be enjoyed without having to read any of the earlier books, although the earlier books will obviously give you more of a familiarisation with the characters who make up Dortmunder's gang. So if it's a light-hearted crime book you're after where the criminal is the good guy, this book will meet your needs.

There are a lot of writers out there that I enjoy, but there are a limited few who I consider extra special. Getting a new book from one of these writers is a special treat, and since such treats are limited, I need to space them out over time so as not to use them up to quickly. Donald Westlake is such a writer, and the latest treat of his that I've read is The Road to Ruin.

The Road to Ruin is the eleventh novel featuring hard-luck thief John Dortmunder. Dortmunder is a gifted "planner": he's the one who can come up with the plans for the great caper. Unfortunately, no matter how great his scheme, fate always seems to conspire against him. In this novel, the target is Monroe Hall, a Ken Lay-ish sort of scheming billionaire who has avoided conviction but lives in solitude in a New Jersey mansion. Hall has ruined many with his sly bookkeeping, and now he needs to stay out of the public eye. It's even hard for him to keep household staff.

Hall has a collection of valuable cars that is the target of Dortmunder and his gang. Since security is air-tight, Dortmunder decides the way to get in is to become employees. Andy Kelp becomes a private secretary, hulking Tiny Bulcher becomes a security guard and Stan Murch becomes a chauffeur. Dortmunder is the new butler. Everything works brilliantly. They've got the jobs, they have access to the cars, a place to stash them and a way of getting cash for them. There's just one problem....

Hall has ruined many people and some of those people want revenge. Mac, Buddy and Ace are some blue collar employees who were laid off when Hall's company went under; Mark and Os are investors who lost a lot of money when the stock collapsed. They team up with the intent of kidnapping Hall and forcing him to transfer money out of his "secret" off-shore accounts. But unlike Dortmunder and his crew, these folks are strictly amateurs. They do eventually develop a plan of their own, but the execution of their plan will create havoc with Dortmunder's own plot.

Westlake's Dortmunder books are always a delight, and this book is no exception. Although crime rarely pays in these books, Westlake is hardly moralizing. Actually, if there is a moral to a Dortmunder story, it's a rather cynical one: you can work hard and plan well and still, something can come out of nowhere and louse things up. But that's probably reading too much into Westlake's intent; this book should be strictly read for the great entertainment it provides. The Road to Ruin is a fun and funny read.

I would like you to do something for me. It will only take a few hours, and you'll enjoy every minute of it. It is a relatively simple task. Just read Donald Westlake's new novel THE ROAD TO RUIN and then read any two or three of his previous works. THE ROAD TO RUIN is part of Westlake's John Dortmunder mythos, but you don't have to limit yourself to that fine series. If you want to dip into one of his crime novels or stand-alone comic crime novels for the purpose of this exercise, that's fine. After you've done this, please get back to me and tell me if there is anyone else who writes more prolifically and with such consistency.

Westlake does it all. His storytelling ability compels you to keep reading. His plotting is first rate. His writing style ... how does a guy simultaneously entertain and challenge the reader? The only time you'll set this book down is if you need to reach for the dictionary. Westlake doesn't just work with language --- he loves it. And it shows. He is also fond of adding little details, flourishes, touches to what is going on in his work. In THE ROAD TO RUIN, one of those little touches is a partner's desk. Within a few words, he describes perfectly why one rarely sees a partner's desk these days. The guy is a marvel.

I could prattle on all day about Westlake (indeed, it appears I have) but I'm sure you would like to know what THE ROAD TO RUIN is all about. You probably have a good idea if you are at all familiar with John Dortmunder, Westlake's perennially unsuccessful thief. Dortmunder is not so much unskilled as he is unlucky. He is the walking embodiment of Murphy's Law. What makes the Dortmunder novels such an absolute joy to read is not necessarily what happens, but why it happens and who it happens to.

Monroe Hall is one of the "who's" in THE ROAD TO RUIN. Hall is very, very rich, and very, very crooked. He is a robber baron in the sense that he robbed SomniTech, his own company, and its stockholders, earning the hatred of ... well, just about everyone. He is so hated, in fact, that the hired help is in the process of de-hiring itself. Dortmunder gets wind of this and hatches a wild plot to get himself and his gang of not-so-merry but still funny men hired onto the Hall estate.

Dortmunder has his eye on Hall's collection of classic cars. The only way to circumvent Hall's considerable security is to become part of the interior scenery as the hired help. What Dortmunder doesn't plan on, however, is that Hall's list of antagonists include some union types who lost their pension money to Hall's shenanigans and some venture capitalists who were heavily leveraged into SomniTech and who, when the smoke cleared, were forced to move back with their parents. The white and the blue collars form an uneasy alliance --- only Westlake could so effectively skewer both --- to get their money back, and maybe a little extra. When all three deals start to go down simultaneously, Hall has some good company: his faithful butler, Dortmunder. The results are more than hilarious.

Westlake, as is so often his wont, starts a number of plates spinning in THE ROAD TO RUIN and never loses one. If there is a problem --- let's make that a minor shortcoming --- with THE ROAD TO RUIN, it's that there are so many interesting characters running around on the pages that Dortmunder almost goes missing! However, there is enough of him to let you know that it's still his book, the latest in a long line of Westlake classics. Don't miss this one.

--- Reviewed by Joe Hartlaub