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The Polyamory Handbook: A User's Guide [Paperback]

Peter J. Benson
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
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Book Description

25 Mar 2008
You've probably heard of polyamory-expanded loving relationships, done openly and honestly. Maybe you¿ve had caring feelings for someone else even though you love your spouse or partner as deeply as always. Maybe you're single; you want a committed relationship with someone; but you don¿t want to give up the freedom to date others with integrity.

Maybe you and your spouse or partner already live a polyamorous lifestyle¿but sometimes you aren't sure how to proceed. Maybe the two of you would like to bring a third partner, or more, into your hearts and home as a triad, quad, etc., but you aren't sure how to go about it. Maybe you are already a family of three, four, or more, but the complex interpersonal dynamics threaten to overwhelm you.

In these pages you'll find guidance about-

  • what polyamory is and is not;
  • communication, conflict resolution, and emotional growth;
  • ethical considerations;
  • sexual hygiene;
  • children;
  • wills, discrimination, and legal hassles; and much more.
Whether you are well experienced with polyamory, or new at it, or curious about it, you'll find answers here, all conveniently arranged in numbered sections for easy reference.

The author has had many decades of experience living various forms of polyamory, including in a multi-adult household, in a polyamorous couple, and as a secondary. He is co-founder of three local polyamory groups and has led workshops at various polyamory conferences.


Frequently Bought Together

The Polyamory Handbook: A User's Guide + Opening Up: A Guide to Polyamory: Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships + The Ethical Slut: A Roadmap for Relationship Pioneers
Price For All Three: £32.42

Buy the selected items together


Product details

  • Paperback: 392 pages
  • Publisher: AuthorHouse (25 Mar 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1434373444
  • ISBN-13: 978-1434373441
  • Product Dimensions: 15.2 x 2.2 x 22.9 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 256,068 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

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Product Description

About the Author

Pete Benson has decades of experience with polyamory in a variety of forms, since well before the term was coined. He has lived in a quad as well as poly dyads with various polyamorous configurations. He is co-founder of 3 local polyamory groups and has been active at the core of each of these. He has experience leading workshops, polyamory peer support groups, and similar polyamory-related events in local poly groups as well as poly conferences. He presently lives with his primary partner, Deborah, in the Pacific Northwest. He can be contacted at petebenson@starpower.net, or customerservice@authorhouse.com.

Inside This Book (Learn More)
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars A good introduction to the subject 20 Mar 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
I find Benson's book to be both a good introduction to the complete novice and a go-to for those more experienced with polyamory. It's down to earth and approaches the subject in the practical way with useful advice as well as basic information. A recommended read.
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Amazon.com: 3.8 out of 5 stars  4 reviews
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Practical 13 Feb 2009
By Photogeek - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
Wonderful book. Well written, practical advice, interesting read.
Very helpful and informative. Also has ideas for relationship agreements, problem solving in arguments, and great resources.
Thank you for writing this book Peter Benson!
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful and informative ebook 6 April 2013
By gary s decarli - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
If you are polyamorous this is great and informative book it breaks everything down and gives you advice on how to deal with situations you run into throughout your relationship it's a great read and very helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Good "Pocket Guide." 8 Aug 2012
By Elizabeth Bassett - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
This is a very good primer for the "Newly-Non-Monogamous." It is very detailed and offers advice for everything, how the Poly person might be thinking, the tension the couple- or "Dyad" might experience. It dispels myths about polyamory and explores the personalities that could factor into a Poly orientation. I love that it discusses Relationship Agreements- I think this is Vital, but it can be overused.

I guess this guide needs to be technical to get beyond some of the trickier subjects The Ethical Slut and Opening Up tend to expound on. In that way, it's much more direct and to the point- though it seems more clinical than experiential, which could be a drawback.

Otherwise, it's VERY Helpful, a good "Pocket Guide." A Crash-Course in growing into a Polyamorous relationship.
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