The Other Side of the Closet
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Product Description
Candid, compassionate, authoritative––a rich source of insights, information, and practical guidance. "The first major work on the topic." ––Gay Community News "A much needed comprehensive study of what happens to husbands, wives, and children during the coming–out crisis. ––The Reverend Jane E. Vennard, founder Task Force for Spouses of Gays and Lesbians "The new enlarged edition adds important factors, especially children′s reactions to a parent′s coming out. Well–researched and insightful." ––Fritz Klein, M.D., author of The Bisexual Option "Anybody practicing in this area would be well advised to read this book." ––Professor Arthur S. Leonard, New York Law School In two million marriages, one spouse is gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Having a spouse or parent disclose his or her same–sex attraction is a shattering experience fraught with pain, confusion, anger, and a profound loss of self–esteem. Amity Pierce Buxton spotlights this exploding phenomenon and reports constructive coping strategies that spouses and children have used to resolve problems of sexual damage, family breakdown, deception, and homophobia. Illustrated throughout by riveting personal narratives, this expanded edition of The Other Side of the Closet traces the family′s journey from initial trauma to eventual transformation. This invaluable source of information for spouses, families, and professionals is based on Dr. Buxton′s eight years of research, including interviews with 1,000 straight spouses and children, her own personal experience, and her counseling work with spouses of gay, lesbian, and bisexual partners.
From the Back Cover
Candid, compassionate, authoritative—a rich source of insights, information, and practical guidance… "The first major work on the topic." —Gay Community News "A much needed comprehensive study of what happens to husbands, wives, and children during the coming–out crisis.".; —The Reverend Jane E. Vennard, founder Task Force for Spouses of Gays and Lesbians "The new enlarged edition adds important factors, especially children’s reactions to a parent’s coming out. Well–researched and insightful." —Fritz Klein, M.D., author of The Bisexual Option "Anybody practicing in this area would be well advised to read this book." —Professor Arthur S. Leonard, New York Law School In two million marriages, one spouse is gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Having a spouse or parent disclose his or her same–sex attraction is a shattering experience fraught with pain, confusion, anger, and a profound loss of self–esteem. Amity Pierce Buxton spotlights this exploding phenomenon and reports constructive coping strategies that spouses and children have used to resolve problems of sexual damage, family breakdown, deception, and homophobia. Illustrated throughout by riveting personal narratives, this expanded edition of The Other Side of the Closet traces the family’s journey from initial trauma to eventual transformation. This invaluable source of information for spouses, families, and professionals is based on Dr. Buxton’s eight years of research, including interviews with 1,000 straight spouses and children, her own personal experience, and her counseling work with spouses of gay, lesbian, and bisexual partners.
Inside This Book
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First Sentence
When the initial shock subsides, straight spouses are typically devastated by what seems like a rejection of their sexuality. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
When the initial shock subsides, straight spouses are typically devastated by what seems like a rejection of their sexuality. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
As a straight man with a wife who has come out as a lesbian I can recommend anyone in a similar situation NOT to buy this book. The author as a heterosexual woman in the extreme cannot and does not understand the lesbian woman who does not share her pleasure. If a straight man and his lesbian wife want help to come to terms with this and perhaps save a marriage then read Carol Stocks book ¡Married Women Who Love Women¡. The Other Side of the Closet for me was a total waste of money and if this reflects her counseling then those couples have my sympathy.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This book concentrates on how the coming out process affects the straight spouse, which is often forgotten when the homosexual partner is going through the trauma of the coming out process. If you are in this situation you will be shocked at how similar the stories in the book are to your own story! It deals with moral issues, parental issues, self-confidence issues, sexuality issues, and much more. If you are married to (or suspect you are married to) a homosexual person of either sex, this is a must read, whether or not you decide to stay in the marriage. Thank you Dr. Buxton for writing this book!
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I bought this book just after my husband of 9 years told me he was leaving me and our two children for another man, I had hoped to find answers to my many questions,hope for the future,even a story of mixed orientation marriages that have worked. However while I read many pages thinking "thats just like us", the book, I felt, painted a bleak picture. One chapter, concentrating on the children on gay parents terrified me, told the tale of how the children, while being acepting of their dads sexuality in early childhood, rebelled and suffered metal illness in young adulthood-just what I didn't want to hear! I felt there should have been some stories of hope, because when you are in this situation, sometimes hope is all you have left
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
helpful?
This is a depressing book for anyone who is bisexual and trying to find a way to make things work. It may be helpful for someone who has already decided to make the break.
Published on 26 May 2009 by Euan G. Hunter
The other side of the closet
When my husband told me that he was gay my world fell apart. This book helped me realise that I was not the only one in the world that this had happened to and that my feelings... Read more
Published on 7 Jun 2003
A good analysis
This book is a good balance, analysing both the str8 and gay spouse's position as well as that of the children involved. Read more
Published on 18 Jan 2000 by Steve Craddock
Offers no hope
This book is so negative. The main message is that the marriage is doomed and that the straight spouse has to suffer while a dysfunctional bi/gay partner makes up his/her mind... Read more
Published on 9 Aug 1999
Powerful, realistic, painful, and compasionate.
My husband purchased the book for himself and found it to painful to read at the time. Recently I told him I was going to get it and he let me know that we already had it. Read more
Published on 7 Aug 1999
Thank you for writing this book
As a child of a gay father, this is the only book that helped me understand my mixed feelings. I could see, in the the numerous case studies, how people reacted. Read more
Published on 15 Jun 1999
Thank you, Dr Buxton!
Even though my husband came out of the closet with the desire to become a woman, Dr Buxton's "The Other Side Of The Closet" rang so very true to me. Read more
Published on 23 Jun 1998
Useful book for straight spouses of bisexuals.
As a straight spouse of a bisexual this was an important book for me. A chance to confront issues swept under the carpet. A chance to open further dialogue within our marriage. Read more
Published on 2 Jun 1998
Less-than Helpful for Bisexuals
I was excited when I saw the title of this book. For
years I had been disappointed to see that the mass media
never seemed to take into account that a person who... Read more
years I had been disappointed to see that the mass media
never seemed to take into account that a person who... Read more
Published on 22 Dec 1996
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