Television is only allowed to be this trashy if it's also entertaining - and this fell well short of the mark.
The first and second series of The Only Way Is Essex is filled with moronic chit-chat about plastic surgery, Page 3 and integrated with shots of intimate hair removal and sequins.
There would certainly be some comfort in believing that the cast are all actors, told to look the way they do and say the things they say, because then we wouldn't have to face the reality that people like this really do exist.
However, not even the worst scriptwriter in the world could dream up the drivel these halfwits come out with, so unfortunately we have to conclude that the cast comprises real people.
The programme as a whole has the air of being the result of a deeply regretful one-night stand between Hollyoaks and The Hills. I like trashy TV as much as the next person, but this really is a new low. An insult to viewer intelligence and more importantly, an insult to Essex.