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The Object of My Affection is in My Reflection: Narcissists and Their Relationships [Paperback]

Rokelle Lerner
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
RRP: 13.99
Price: 10.89 & FREE Delivery in the UK. Details
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Frequently Bought Together

The Object of My Affection is in My Reflection: Narcissists and Their Relationships + Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, & Other Toxic People + Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
Price For All Three: 25.70

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Product details

  • Paperback: 312 pages
  • Publisher: Health Communications; 1 edition (1 Mar 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 075730768X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0757307683
  • Product Dimensions: 21.1 x 13.7 x 2.3 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 112,600 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful, practical, empowering 29 Mar 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I have read approximately five books on NPD and I have found this book to be the most helpful and insightful. Not only does it explain the NPD in easy to understand terms as well as give sound advice on how to deal with them but it also explores why you are involved with a Narcissist and helps you to help yourself in a progressive way: grieving, questioning your own motives, coming to terms with who you are , your deep fears and motivations. I highly recommend this book , especially the last four chapters.
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5.0 out of 5 stars incredibly helpful 16 Mar 2014
By Alex
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Very helpful book, with clear examples of how to recognise and interact with narcissists. Written with compassion and knowledge. Thank you Rokelle
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5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent reading 25 Nov 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This book answered most, if not all, of my questions and has made me understand NPD better. I know feel I am able to handle those with NPD more patiently and in a way that will benefit both them and myself.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 4.8 out of 5 stars  109 reviews
155 of 157 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Pulls Essential Information Together 8 Feb 2009
By PainterForNow - Published on
Having finally left a man with Narcissistic Personality Disorder after twenty LONG years of emotional abuse, I've lived and learned the necessity of educating oneself on this disorder in order to cope. Some books are too clinical, some are too trite. This book is a summary of all the essentials one needs in recognizing the narcissist in a personal relationship or in the workplace. It's precisely on point in identifying their tactics and manipulations and also the impact of their behavior on their victims, and they leave victims everywhere, from the home to the office.

If you think you are dealing with a narcissist and need a primer, this book is an easy read summarizing the clinical studies of the experts. If you need to hear the words and see the reasons why narcissists don't change, you will find them in this book.
111 of 113 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars The Object Of My Affection Is In My reflection: Coping With Narcissists 15 Feb 2010
By Delar Kour Singh - Published on
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
The Object Of My Affection Is In My reflection: Coping With Narcissists

This book focuses on narcissism, a personality disorder. If you have individuals in your personal and /or professional life who are self-centered, self-absorbed, have a sense of grandiosity, engage in pathological lying, and demonstrate a sense of entitlement, you must read this book. The book is divided into four parts. The part one discusses the root of Narcissism, which is generally a parent. The part two gives tips on identifying the Narcissist and it summarizes the impact of Narcissism on personal and professional relationships. The part three informs that Narcissists often suffer from addictions and it is difficult to diagnose as well as treat Narcissism. The part four provides strategies for surviving Narcissistic relationships.

If you believe you have a Narcissist in your life, I recommend that you read one more book, "The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists" by Eleanor Payson. This was my first book on Narcissism.
77 of 80 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists 16 Jan 2011
By samic - Published on
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
WOW!!!Excellent! Excellent! Excellent! I have educated myself extensively on NPD, and THIS is the book I could not put down! If you are 'under the spell' of living with one with NPD, the first step is to become aware of WHAT it is you are dealing with, and then acknowledge that this disorder is so perplexing that perhaps you DO need help to cope with the NPD individual in your life. Please...Go ahead and do yourself a 'life-altering favor' not hesitate to purchase this book! It will give you a complete array of tools that you need to reclaim your life, your values, your power, and your sanity. And if you have chosen to stay in this relationship, this "life experience" does not have to be a "life sentence" with 'no parole'. You CAN reclaim your life! The information in this book is amazingly helpful, incredibly detailed, and the author has such an abundance of insight into the NPD personality. For the first time in many, many years (actually decades), I now feel alive, in control, and HAPPY again. I have actually reclaimed my life, my values, and my soul! This book is like a 'breath of fresh air' for those of us who have been suffocated and stifled for so long.

We DO have options, and this author takes you, by the hand (and with no holds barred) to show you exactly HOW you can begin the process to light up your future and enjoy life once again. The powerful arsenal of the narcissist has remained unchallenged for far too long; now finally a viable arsenal is available for the spouse, partner, adult child, employee, or co-worker of one with NPD, to enable you to reclaim your power! The results of putting even 'some' of the author's ideas into practice - even after only three short days for me - have been both amazing and enlightening! I cannot wait to implement the full array of her very articulate healing advice and suggestions. She just "knows"... But perhaps Rokelle Lerner will never know how grateful I am to her for her insight and her work. I truly cannot thank the author enough for writing this book.

If you plan to purchase one 'life changing' book on addressing your challenge of 'how' to deal with 'daily challenges' of living or associating with one who has NPD, this is definitely the book for you. Your life CAN change in the midst of living with one with really can. You can heal!
70 of 73 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Share this book! 12 May 2009
By Mary Delaney - Published on
As a psychologist in private practice for over 25 years I have found Rokelle Lerners' book very helpful. Her style is easy to read and understand for therapists as well as clients. A must read for anyone who deals with narcissists!
55 of 58 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Best book on NPD I've read 6 Sep 2010
By Chris - Published on
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Feeling I once again needed more info and skills to deal with a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), I ran across this book on, and chose it because of the customer reviews. It not only did not disappoint, but it exceeded my expectations. Each book on NPD I had read had something to offer, and was helpful in some way. However, this one, from my perspective, is outstanding. Being clear and concisely comprehensive, it gave me further insight into the whys of this disorder, described my lived experience, confirmed "what works and what doesn't work" that I had painfully discovered over many years, brought light to and articulated the effects on a partner of someone with NPD, helped reduce my negative emotions as well as strengthen my inner self, and provided practical strategies . . . for family members, work colleagues, and therapists of persons with NPD. Thank you, Rokelle!
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