The New Strong-Willed Child
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Synopsis
For parents needing help dealing with sibling rivalry, ADHD, low self-esteem and other urgent issues. A must for parents and teachers struggling to raise and teach children who are convinced they should be able to live by their own rules!
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
First, three quotes from the book to help counter the hysterical claims that this book teachs us, "my child is wrong/abnormal" and that this book promotes "Christian dark ages abuse":
"How then, are we to shape the will while preserving the spirit?" (pg. 79) This simple question perfectly sums up the entire book: how do we manage to raise a happy child without breaking their strong determined spirit? IF this book were all about destroying your child... why would we approach the child from this angle?
"It is accomplished by establishing reasonable boundaries in advance and then enforcing them with love..." (pg. 79)
***Establishing boundaries is key*** and this book makes this very clear and offers the reader careful instruction on how to teach your child to respect normal human boundaries. A lot of you folk here that are branding this book as "child abuse!!" are probably the very types of parents that do not want to (or don't know how to) **establish boundaries** with your children. This book clearly instructs how to set boundaries ~ and either this frightens you or makes you feel very guilty for your own lack of boundaries with your out of control child.
So, while you shrill against "The New Stron-Willed Child" the rest of us pay the miserable price as your child disrespects every single human being within earshot and reach. All while you, the parent, smile and pretend that everything is fine so that you don't have to actually work at parenting your kid, emotional wimps to the core.
The third quote again sums up the goal of this book:
"...while avoiding any implications that a child is unwanted, unnecessary, foolish, ugly, dumb, burdensome, embarassing, or a terrible mistake." (pg. 79)
Parents that cry "This book teaches abuse!" : While *you* might never suggest any of those negative and unwelcome things to your own children, **the rest of the world will do so.** Like it or not, if you fail to do your job and fail to **teach your children to respect normal established human boundaries** then your child will suffer the frustrated and angry responses of the other parents and children around him. So, whild you avoid the emotional pain of teaching your child how to behave like a socially adjusted human being, you are fully to blame for that same child needlessly suffering the pain of being taught by **everyone else** how to respect boundaries. All that you are doing, by avoiding your job, is passing the buck ~ and your child will pay the price through public humiliation and confusion.
So I'll tell you what, "The New Strong-Willed Child" is really a book written only for those of us that have the emotional courage to handle the oftentimes painful and difficult job (a constant job that can never be neglected) of, from day one, "establishing reasonable boundaries in advance and then enforcing them with love."
As for the rest of you, the ones that can't handle it, don't whine when I let your child know when he/she is doing their best to bulldoze their way through healthy and perfectly normal boundaries. And if you shrill at me about, "You don't like my child!" ... I just might hand you a copy of, "The New Strong-Willed Child."
Five Stars: and quit with the "Abuse!" nonsense, please.
"How then, are we to shape the will while preserving the spirit?" (pg. 79) This simple question perfectly sums up the entire book: how do we manage to raise a happy child without breaking their strong determined spirit? IF this book were all about destroying your child... why would we approach the child from this angle?
"It is accomplished by establishing reasonable boundaries in advance and then enforcing them with love..." (pg. 79)
***Establishing boundaries is key*** and this book makes this very clear and offers the reader careful instruction on how to teach your child to respect normal human boundaries. A lot of you folk here that are branding this book as "child abuse!!" are probably the very types of parents that do not want to (or don't know how to) **establish boundaries** with your children. This book clearly instructs how to set boundaries ~ and either this frightens you or makes you feel very guilty for your own lack of boundaries with your out of control child.
So, while you shrill against "The New Stron-Willed Child" the rest of us pay the miserable price as your child disrespects every single human being within earshot and reach. All while you, the parent, smile and pretend that everything is fine so that you don't have to actually work at parenting your kid, emotional wimps to the core.
The third quote again sums up the goal of this book:
"...while avoiding any implications that a child is unwanted, unnecessary, foolish, ugly, dumb, burdensome, embarassing, or a terrible mistake." (pg. 79)
Parents that cry "This book teaches abuse!" : While *you* might never suggest any of those negative and unwelcome things to your own children, **the rest of the world will do so.** Like it or not, if you fail to do your job and fail to **teach your children to respect normal established human boundaries** then your child will suffer the frustrated and angry responses of the other parents and children around him. So, whild you avoid the emotional pain of teaching your child how to behave like a socially adjusted human being, you are fully to blame for that same child needlessly suffering the pain of being taught by **everyone else** how to respect boundaries. All that you are doing, by avoiding your job, is passing the buck ~ and your child will pay the price through public humiliation and confusion.
So I'll tell you what, "The New Strong-Willed Child" is really a book written only for those of us that have the emotional courage to handle the oftentimes painful and difficult job (a constant job that can never be neglected) of, from day one, "establishing reasonable boundaries in advance and then enforcing them with love."
As for the rest of you, the ones that can't handle it, don't whine when I let your child know when he/she is doing their best to bulldoze their way through healthy and perfectly normal boundaries. And if you shrill at me about, "You don't like my child!" ... I just might hand you a copy of, "The New Strong-Willed Child."
Five Stars: and quit with the "Abuse!" nonsense, please.
16 of 20 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
Great book, great advice. As usual Dr Dobson comes up with practical, helpful advice. His compassion and love for children is evident in this book as well as his understanding of the difficult job of parenting. His experience and wisdom is unequalled.
An essential parenting book!
9 of 16 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Just as the title indicates Dr. Dobson focuses on what he sees as the child's deficits rather than the underlying parent-child relationship. I think Dr. Dobson basis his book on a faulty and potentially destructive premise - the child is inherently flawed and the parent must intervene (for which he provides much advice). Rather, I think I prefer a healthier premise - my child's behavior and personality are greatly influenced by the quality of the parent child relationship (the degrees of intimacy, empathy, and emotional safety) - rather than blame the child and intervene, strive to understand the behavior in respect to the parent-child relationship and adjust accordingly. I think Dr. Dobson's understanding of these qualities are a bit skewed or misguided.
James Dobson has been around for a long time. He certainly has a large body of literature. If you are familiar with his writing I think you will find that "The New Strong-Willed Child" is more of the same. If you have found his previous work insightful and inspirational this may be the book for you. Personally, I find my role as parent to be too important to blindly accept everything Dr. Dobson presents. Rather, I suggest you read "The New Strong-Willed Child" as well as other resources to gain a more rounded and insightful understanding of this most important job (parenting). I really liked to work of Mark Gaskill, MFT (family therapist and parenting expert) as a balancing perspective. His book "Systemic Parenting: An Exploration of the Parenting Big Picture" is superb. These two books are worlds apart. If you are attached to Dobson, great "The New Strong-Willed Child" will be your thing. However, you might want to treat yourself to some newer and fresher ideas by looking elsewhere.
James Dobson has been around for a long time. He certainly has a large body of literature. If you are familiar with his writing I think you will find that "The New Strong-Willed Child" is more of the same. If you have found his previous work insightful and inspirational this may be the book for you. Personally, I find my role as parent to be too important to blindly accept everything Dr. Dobson presents. Rather, I suggest you read "The New Strong-Willed Child" as well as other resources to gain a more rounded and insightful understanding of this most important job (parenting). I really liked to work of Mark Gaskill, MFT (family therapist and parenting expert) as a balancing perspective. His book "Systemic Parenting: An Exploration of the Parenting Big Picture" is superb. These two books are worlds apart. If you are attached to Dobson, great "The New Strong-Willed Child" will be your thing. However, you might want to treat yourself to some newer and fresher ideas by looking elsewhere.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Teaching bad parenting
Don't buy this book its a waste of money. All it teaches you is outdated inappropriate ideas about how to raise your child. Read more
Published on 23 Mar 2010 by susie
Child rearing from the christian dark ages
There will come a time when books such as these will be as outdated and unacceptable in society as slavery and wife beating
Published on 11 Jun 2009 by Elizabeth Pearson
Mixed Feelings
I opened this book with great expectations of an answer to dealing with my own strong willed child, but was disappointed. Read more
Published on 10 Feb 2008 by E. Mcgovern
Easy steps to child abuse
If you want to learn how to beat your child and feel good about it, then this is the book for you.
The author will tell you that he was beaten as a child, and of course he... Read more
The author will tell you that he was beaten as a child, and of course he... Read more
Published on 28 Nov 2004
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