First, three quotes from the book to help counter the hysterical claims that this book teachs us, "my child is wrong/abnormal" and that this book promotes "Christian dark ages abuse":
"How then, are we to shape the will while preserving the spirit?" (pg. 79) This simple question perfectly sums up the entire book: how do we manage to raise a happy child without breaking their strong determined spirit? IF this book were all about destroying your child... why would we approach the child from this angle?
"It is accomplished by establishing reasonable boundaries in advance and then enforcing them with love..." (pg. 79)
***Establishing boundaries is key*** and this book makes this very clear and offers the reader careful instruction on how to teach your child to respect normal human boundaries. A lot of you folk here that are branding this book as "child abuse!!" are probably the very types of parents that do not want to (or don't know how to) **establish boundaries** with your children. This book clearly instructs how to set boundaries ~ and either this frightens you or makes you feel very guilty for your own lack of boundaries with your out of control child.
So, while you shrill against "The New Stron-Willed Child" the rest of us pay the miserable price as your child disrespects every single human being within earshot and reach. All while you, the parent, smile and pretend that everything is fine so that you don't have to actually work at parenting your kid, emotional wimps to the core.
The third quote again sums up the goal of this book:
"...while avoiding any implications that a child is unwanted, unnecessary, foolish, ugly, dumb, burdensome, embarassing, or a terrible mistake." (pg. 79)
Parents that cry "This book teaches abuse!" : While *you* might never suggest any of those negative and unwelcome things to your own children, **the rest of the world will do so.** Like it or not, if you fail to do your job and fail to **teach your children to respect normal established human boundaries** then your child will suffer the frustrated and angry responses of the other parents and children around him. So, whild you avoid the emotional pain of teaching your child how to behave like a socially adjusted human being, you are fully to blame for that same child needlessly suffering the pain of being taught by **everyone else** how to respect boundaries. All that you are doing, by avoiding your job, is passing the buck ~ and your child will pay the price through public humiliation and confusion.
So I'll tell you what, "The New Strong-Willed Child" is really a book written only for those of us that have the emotional courage to handle the oftentimes painful and difficult job (a constant job that can never be neglected) of, from day one, "establishing reasonable boundaries in advance and then enforcing them with love."
As for the rest of you, the ones that can't handle it, don't whine when I let your child know when he/she is doing their best to bulldoze their way through healthy and perfectly normal boundaries. And if you shrill at me about, "You don't like my child!" ... I just might hand you a copy of, "The New Strong-Willed Child."
Five Stars: and quit with the "Abuse!" nonsense, please.