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Review
[E]xtremely sensible advice to parents and young adults about what they can do to temper often problematic transitions to adulthood. --Yorick Blumenfeld, author of 2099 and Scanning the Future
Product Description
While parents, teachers and employers want to help young people move from adolescence to adulthood, they are hampered by out-dated and misguided ideas about maturity. They expect young people to reach adulthood at the same age previous generations did, unaware that they need longer to gain the skills required by an increasingly complex and changeable society. Unrealistic expectations crush young people's confidence and prevent those who care for them from providing the support necessary to allow a smooth crossing from adolescence to adulthood. Acting in the name of love, many parents of young adults withdraw emotional or practical support, thinking it best for a son or daughter to solve his or her own problems, even suffer through their own mistakes. Terri Apter show us that young adults need guidance and support, while also requiring respect and independence. Based on carefully observed case studies and current research, this book describes how young people can be supported through a crucial stage in their development.
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THE prospect of making one's own way in the world is exciting. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
THE prospect of making one's own way in the world is exciting. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com:
7 reviews
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
Essential reading for parents of teens and beyond!
28 Dec 2001
Format:Hardcover
I just finished reading Terri Apter's book about helping teenagers and young adults find their way in the world. I will be recommending it to all of our friends! Ms. Apter identifies common misconceptions about how young people "should" be treated while discussing the realities young people face and how they need to be treated. Many of her ideas about helping our children grow into successful (happy, well-adjusted) adults are very common sense and resonate with parents as things we want to do, yet feel society does not support. Apter's ability to provide examples as to why parents need to nurture their young adults is reinforced by her examples of what happens when young adults do not receive such support. As parents we must do what we feel is best for our children and reject the pressures of society to "let them go and learn from their own mistakes". Apter's Myth of Maturity is a great resource for parents.
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
Just in the nick of time
1 July 2001
Format:Hardcover
This book was so appropriate for our situation with our college age daughter. I found the book to be one of the few written specifically for this age group. I have loaned it to two friends who are having problems with their 20+ year old offspring. So many things are written about the teenage years, that you assume after that is over that "maturity" and development is accomplished. I am looking now for other books written by this author. Highest recs!!
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Not About Teenagers But Rather 20somethings
4 Dec 2010
Format:Paperback
Don't let the subtitle mislead you- this book isn't about parenting teenagers at all but rather about 20somethings. The author invents a new term ("thresholders") for adults in their twenties and she advocates the kind of coddling by parents that has led to a prolonged adolescence among so many Gen Yers. I just couldn't relate at all to the stories of "quarterlife" angst by spoiled, whiny, immature 20somethings sponging off Mommy and Daddy. Ms. Apter regards the serial job-hopping and bed-hopping and the delay in becoming financially independent by so many young adults today as a *GOOD* thing. She claims, without providing any convincing evidence to support the assertion, that this kind of drifting is "preparation for a complex and demanding adulthood". Personally, I feel that "the maturity myth" is itself a myth and that the kind of "support" Ms. Apter advocates parents give 20somethings will ultimately hurt more than help. She calls it "scouting the adult world" but these "thresholders" *ARE* adults- and they need to start acting like them!
The chapter on marriage and parenthood by "thresholders" particularly made my blood boil. Ms. Apter claims that getting married prior to one's late twenties prematurely "forecloses" what she calls "the opportunity for real, deep growth" and allegedly "leads to a limited identity." She goes on to claim that 20somethings who settle down "assume the outward form of adulthood, take a shortcut to growth. This strategy invariably fails." As if the kind of "hooking up" that is now the norm among 20somethings allows for real growth of anything aside from the skyrocketing rates of STD's and out-of-wedlock pregnancies. She fails to consider the possibility for growing as a person within the framework of a loving, stable, committed relationship. I'm not the same person I was when I got married a month prior to my 22nd birthday. Getting married young didn't stunt my identity at all- I was able to grow & mature in my 20's just as easily (if not more so) than had I chosen to remain single.
Skip this one if you want your kids to become self-reliant adults.
The chapter on marriage and parenthood by "thresholders" particularly made my blood boil. Ms. Apter claims that getting married prior to one's late twenties prematurely "forecloses" what she calls "the opportunity for real, deep growth" and allegedly "leads to a limited identity." She goes on to claim that 20somethings who settle down "assume the outward form of adulthood, take a shortcut to growth. This strategy invariably fails." As if the kind of "hooking up" that is now the norm among 20somethings allows for real growth of anything aside from the skyrocketing rates of STD's and out-of-wedlock pregnancies. She fails to consider the possibility for growing as a person within the framework of a loving, stable, committed relationship. I'm not the same person I was when I got married a month prior to my 22nd birthday. Getting married young didn't stunt my identity at all- I was able to grow & mature in my 20's just as easily (if not more so) than had I chosen to remain single.
Skip this one if you want your kids to become self-reliant adults.
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