The Mother Factor
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Product Description
Whether we acknowledge it or not, our mothers leave an indelible impression on the persons we become. Our ability to function emotionally in relationships - both personal and professional - is based on our mothers' deep influence. In a book full of insights and wisdom based on a career of helping others, acclaimed psychologist Stephan B. Poulter shows how the mother factor can work either for or against us. The key to allowing this important legacy to work for us, says Dr Poulter, depends on understanding our mother's pervasive influence on our life. He shows that the way we connect emotionally in adult relationships is based on the "style" of our mothers.Dr Poulter defines the five major styles of mothering as: The Perfectionist Mother - whose family must look perfect in every way; The Unpredictable Mother - whose ups and downs can create life-long anxiety and depression in her son or daughter; The "Me First" Mother - whose children come second or last; The "Best Friend" Mother - who's now in vogue but can wreak havoc; The Complete Mother - who provides guidance and shows compassion to her child.Although most mothers are a combination of the above, many fit more into one category than others. Even though as adults, we tend to dismiss our past as the past, we do so at risk to ourselves. Only by understanding how our mother's legacy affects us today can we transcend the mysterious anger, anxiety, depression, and shame that we feel, and achieve the kind of relationships we deserve. Dr Poulter demonstrates how the internalised "rulebook" we inherit from our mothers is a very powerful force. These unspoken rules govern work, relationships, emotions, separation, and independence. Unless we become aware of the rules that guide our behaviour, thoughts, and beliefs, we won't have the ability to make our own choices. This enlightening book will help readers connect with their past to correct self-defeating behaviours, reach their full emotional potentials, and live happier, more fulfilling lives.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Very insightful book which makes absolute sense,I found it extremely helpful in looking at my relationship with my mother, I recommend this book to anyone who wants to figure out what the deal is with your mother and to understand that, this relationship is often is the blueprint to our other significant relationships in our lifes.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This is the kind of book that can help you understand your childhood, heal relationship issues with your own mother and learn how to be the type of parent you always wanted to be. It is a book that encourages action - a manual for the 'good enough parent'. Personally, I think the book's premise gives too much weight to a mother's influence on her children's lives #hence the four star rating# but I found it an enjoyable and enlightening read nonetheless and, read in conjunction with other books of its type, a useful self-development tool.
Format:Paperback
I was a little disappointed with this book. It describes the four widely-known mothering styles and outlines the accompanying issues offspring of such mothers will have. I had learned about the four mothering styles in college years ago. I was reading the book looking for answers/ better understanding of why a difficult mother-daughter relationship can be so bad and if there's clarity (if not possible resolution) to be found. I feel my own case escaped the four styles net.
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