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The Mother Dance: How Children Change Your Life Paperback – May 1999

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Product details

  • Paperback: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Harper Perennial (May 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 006093025X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0060930257
  • Product Dimensions: 13.5 x 1.9 x 20.3 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 770,490 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

By Lerner, Harriet Goldhor [ [ The Mother Dance: How Children Change Your Life [ THE MOTHER DANCE: HOW CHILDREN CHANGE YOUR LIFE BY Lerner, Harriet Goldhor ( Author ) Apr-07-1999[ THE MOTHER DANCE: HOW CHILDREN CHANGE YOUR LIFE [ THE MOTHER DANCE: HOW CHILDREN CHANGE YOUR LIFE BY LERNER, HARRIET GOLDHOR ( AUTHOR ) APR-07-1999 ] By Lerner, Harriet Goldhor ( Author )Apr-07-1999 Paperback ] ] Apr-1999[ Paperback ]

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

By Kt on 23 Feb. 2013
Format: Paperback
Very readable and interesting. Some useful advice written in a very engaging way. She combines her personal and prifessional experience and knowledge very well.
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By Illandria on 28 Jun. 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Honest and very useful. I also have the dance of anger, intimacy and women in therapy by the same author. Highly recommended
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 30 reviews
34 of 35 people found the following review helpful
A worthwhile read for moms at every stage of the game. 30 Jan. 1999
By A Customer - Published on
Format: Hardcover
I loved Harriet Lerner's other "dance" books. At first I thought this one was going to be more of a guide for the mom-to-be. However, as I kept reading I realized Lerner was taking us through the stages from birth to the young adult's departure from home. Giving us examples from her own life as a mother of two sons, her friends' and clients' lives Lerner marvelously illustrates the various difficulties many women/families can experience. Lerner admits she was not a perfect mother. That admission makes it possible for us, the readers to evaluate our own weaknesses without the customary guilt that usually accompanies such assessments. Topics discussed include power struggles, talking with difficult kids, and sibling relationships. She even mentions the unmentionable-mothers hating their children. I have already recommended this book to a friend for the the last section which deals with the departure of the youngest child from home.
23 of 23 people found the following review helpful
Entertaining and practical advice! 8 July 1999
By A Customer - Published on
Format: Paperback
As a new mother I have read everything I can get my hands on! This book though is for ME, not advice on how to quiet a crying baby or what to feed a picky 12 month old. It is about the feelings, thoughts and worries that a mother obsesses over each day. I cried, laughed and learned through the entire book and then receommended it to two friends. If you are looking for a book to read that talks about how becoming a mom has truly made you a completely different person this is it!
37 of 41 people found the following review helpful
I've been laughing outloud! 17 Nov. 1999
By A Customer - Published on
Format: Paperback
As a working, mother in the mental health field I was so please to read that Harriet has gone through the same termoils I have. It seems so trivial when I hear her recounts. What a guilt trip we put on ourselves. While reading you feel like she could be sitting in your kitchen talking over a cup of diet soda. I have recommended this book to so many new mothers and older mothers that seem so concerned about doing the "right" thing. Dr. Lerner reminds us there isn't a "right" or "wrong" way to parent.
Lena Sheffield, M.S.Ed., CAP
35 of 41 people found the following review helpful
Good, except... 10 Mar. 2004
By M. Boesch - Published on
Format: Paperback
I found this book to be well-written, humorous and honest. The author does a good job discussing some of the various "larger societal forces" that help to shape our choices as women and as mothers. Of particular interest to me was the connection between how we relate to our children and how we related to others in our "first family" or "family of origin." This book covered topics I have not seen discussed in other parenting books - for example, the author discusses "empty-nest-syndrome" and how we are affected by gender roles.
That all being said, I was turned off by the bleak picture she presented of stay-at-home mothers. I felt she presented this option as something women are "forced" to do, or end up doing because they are on "automatic pilot." The author makes references to how women lose themselves, their power, and their money if they stay at home. And throughout reading this, I couldn't help but ponder the title - "...How Children Change Your Life". It seems rather ironic because I got the feeling the author was hell-bent on NOT changing her life after her children came along.
If you can get past the negative homemaker/full-time mother references, this book has information that is interesting and helpful and it is also humorous. I do feel, however, that a book that does ALL mothers more justice is Kathleen A. Kendall-Tackett's "The Hidden Feelings of Motherhood."
13 of 14 people found the following review helpful
A Must Buy for Parents 13 Oct. 2004
By L. Kelley - Published on
Format: Paperback
Get this book NOW and give it to every Mom you know regardless of how old their children are! I read this book before I had kids to try and understand what my own Mom might have gone through. Now that I have 15 mo. old twins, I have re-read it during the long hours of breastfeeding! It is falling apart and my highlighter ran out of ink! Harriet Lerner has once again written a thoughtful, insightful, warm, and inspiring book. Through her experience raising 2 boys, she tells it like it is! I was so tired of parenting books giving me "steps to success" and rules for engagement - none of which work consistently. Harriet seems to be the first to recognize that we are all human and it is bringing this human-ness fully into our parenting that connects us with our children. Her real life stories demonstrate how being honest, curious, revealing, and loving can help us raise kids. I loved how courageous she was to reveal her own times of doubt and fear, and then to know what the outcome was for her. She also talks a lot of her husband's involvement and how they are in their different ways of being with the kids. It's just one of those books where you go, "Yeah, that's what happens for me, too." After reading this book, I felt as if I had been inside Harriet's home and seen first hand what it's really like to try and raise kids using your values, knowledge, and self awareness while simultaneously trying not to fall apart when they do something crazy. Thank you, Harriet, for helping me be a better Mom.
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