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4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5 stars
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on 22 October 2009
an excellent book to start if you feel that it`s about time you started to treat yourself a little bit better. If you are very self critical, have excessive expectations of yourself and never cut yourself any slack you could learn a lot from this book. I have been practising insight meditation for a couple of years now and have read many books, this has been one of the most comprehensive and enjoyable to read,,,fluff free as well!!,,i would suggest trying to read it through rather than leave huge gaps like i did,,as the pitfalls of the practice are flagged up in the latter chapters and so it is important to know them right from the start of your practice so you can know if you are making any progress or are deep in one of those pits!!

invest a bit of time in yourself,,you`re worth it..
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on 26 August 2012
This book has supported my mindfulness practice, and desire to work on my self-compassion/kindness. It's very well written, easily accessible, and the author has a website with some good audio tracks to download and use to support the material in the book. I personally find it difficult to follow the written instructions for longer exercises without having to refer back, so i'm glad that the website resources can be used instead/aswell as.
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on 25 September 2012
I was recommended to this book after serious illness, together with some others on the same subject. I found this particular book very much more readable than most of the others and it helped me get back onto the road of peace and calm with myself and the world in general. I wasn't into the meditation life style previously, and I am no ex-hippy type but the I found this book very helpful for understanding a bit more about the way I behave and coming to terms with getting on with the rest of my life in a much more balanced way.

Don't let the title put you off - I thought it sounded like a book for those who self harm. And in a strange sense it is, because we all can fall into the trap of emotionally beating up on ourselves - when we shouldn't. This is a book about how to find ways to be at peace with what goes on in your head and sort it all out into the right place so you can carry on your life in a better and calmer way. Some of the techniques, you may not need for ever, but I would thoroughly recommend this book for anyone who has gone through a period of serious stress, and who feels they need a way to gather all those bits of junk that float around in your head into a sensible and more ordered form, so you can get on with the rest of your life.
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on 13 May 2011
I bought this book several months ago and it spoke to me then on so many levels - I am already a mindfulness practitioner but Christopher Germer introduced new insights for me and then carefully explained self-compassion and how I could build it. The structure of the book is well put-together and what is refreshing is his descriptions of where people can struggle and how to persevere to gain the benefits of building self-compassion. I have recently re-read it again and am struck by it's powerful and practical wisdom. The section on what personality type you are has really helped me to see where my challenges may lie with self-compassion and how to overcome them. I think the whole section on self-customising the practices marks this book out from others.I highly recommend it and as a counsellor and compassion coach I have already recommended it to clients who have enjoyed it and learned from it.
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on 18 June 2010
I really enjoyed this book. The title says it all. I had this book in at work and several of my colleagues went and bought the book after flicking through it, (they couldn't even wait until I finished it!).

The book is well laid out and full of exercises and thought provoking comments. It is easily read but not to the point of dumbing down the message, it explained mindfulness in a very straight forward way.
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on 22 April 2015
I was told by my counsellor to be a bit kinder to myself so I bought this book. From the very first chapter it has made a difference to how I am looking at life. I try to read a chapter every week and I find it very easy to read and use. Would recommend this book to anyone who is struggling with anxiety, low self esteem or lost their way in life.

Life is very hard and we are very hard on ourselves - some times we just need to cut ourselves a bit of slack and stand back to admire the view and smell the coffee.
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on 7 March 2012
Only half way through the book which I have found extremely useful and engaging to read. The first part of the book encourages you to explore self compassion before going onto looking at the relationships you have with others. It is encouraging to read that self compassion can be developed and as such is a skill that needs to be nurtured. The author gives excellent case examples from his clinical work to fully explain how to embrace mindful acceptance and work with difficult emotions. I would highly recommend this book to anyone with an interest in mindfulness. However, it is probably best served having had some formal experience with the principles behind a Mindfulness based stress reduction course or having read Jon Kabit Zin (et al) 'The mindful way through depression, freeing yourself form chronic unhappiness'.
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on 20 April 2015
This was a great book, which I was reluctant to read because I feel psychology books can be tedious to read. The concepts and perspectives offered were applicable to the reality of life; the insight could be adapted to the person reading it. Even if you could not relate, the book encouraged you to keep moving forward. I also like that the author considered that not everyone is the same. I like that he said facing your problems and accepting them, is necessary before any healing can begin, but he explained sometimes people need to practice avoidance and denial until they are strong enough to confront their problems. I also like that he claimed, using medication is not avoidance if you are willing to use it to help you on your journey. Some people avoid taking it because of fear they are not in control; while some use medication as a scapegoat and don't continue healing. He offered the alternative. I felt better because I realized my feelings are not unique, as others struggle similarly. I'm not a freak.
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on 16 October 2013
overlaps largely with the Neff book on what the basics are of self-compassion and mindfulness, but written in a different style - not so client focussed and a bit more like a text book.
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on 23 March 2016
Cant give 5 stars yet since I haven't read the book cover to cover. However what I've read so far is very sound and entirely applicable to daily life ( mine anyway ) !
Im sure many people would find this book very beneficial to their lives, since its teaching subtle yet powerful skills which can be applied right here, right now in the real world. If your wish is to feel more at peace with yourself, & thus with all those around you then read this book !
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