Oliver James,a British clinical psychologist, broadcaster, and bestselling author ('Affluenza', 'Britain on the Couch', 'They Fxxx You Up') says of this book: "A highly original and stimulating critique of the modern 'marriage crisis', supported by important yet sometimes uncomfortable truths." For many years, across the developed world, over 50% of new marriages have ended in divorce, or are predicted to do so in the fullness of time. And perhaps half the marriages that do not end in divorce are thought to be broadly unhappy. The explanations for the modern 'marriage crisis' usually include a widespread loss of 'traditional values'. However, contrary to popular belief, the evidence is that marriages were no happier in former times than today. The prime drivers of a low divorce rate in former times were difficulty in obtaining divorce, and the economic dependency of women on men. In his fourth book 'THE MARRIAGE DELUSION - the fraud of the rings?' British writer Mike Buchanan argues that most people in the modern era are unsuited to marriage. He argues that a number of groups have an enhanced risk of being unhappy in their marriages, these groups include introverts (54% of men, 47% of women). The book covers this personality type at length and covers other issues contributing to marital unhappiness including the different natures of men and women, individualism, declining love and lust, sex, personal aptitude for marriage, mutual compatibility, the link between extraversion and adultery, religious conviction differences, the genetic link to propensity to divorce, and depression. The book concludes with a number of realistic recommendations to raise the proportion of new marriages which are happy over the long term, thereby bringing down the divorce rate.
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"A highly original and stimulating critique of the modern marriage crisis, supported by important yet sometimes uncomfortable truths."--Oliver James, clinical psychologist, broadcaster, author of Affluenza,'Britain on the Couch, They Fxxx You Up
"Mike Buchanan's analysis of marriage in western industrialised society is courageous and thoughtful. His perspectives on the challenges associated with marriage, and solutions to them, draw on important scientific evidence and arguments from some of our leading psychologists and wisest philosophers. This is a 'must-read' for all concerned with modern marriage."--Alan Carr, Professor of Clinical Psychology, University College, Dublin, author of The Handbook of Adult Clinical Psychology, Family Therapy and Positive Psychology
From the Inside Flap
The Marriage Delusion explores the modern `marriage crisis' of the developed world, and suggests it is the natural outcome of unhappily married people taking advantage of the ready availability of divorce. There is no reliable evidence to show that marriages were happier in the past, but there is plenty of evidence to suggest that factors such as the economic dependence of women on men, and the difficulty of obtaining divorce, kept the divorce rate low in former times.
The book could be of benefit to a number of groups of people, including those seeking to:
- Understand the topic of unhappiness in marriage for personal, professional, or academic reasons
- Deepen their understanding of the relationship between marital success and partners' religious convictions
- Understand their personal aptitude for marriage, before or after getting married
- Assess the mutual compatibility of their partner and themselves, before or after getting married
By understanding the issues covered in this book and applying the knowledge to your own circumstances, you might reduce the likelihood or extent of unhappiness in your own marriage.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By Mr M
Format:Hardcover
Have been reading this book with interest. It deals with many aspects of relationships and the institution of marriage. The book has been well researched
and has many quotes and extracts from other relevant authors on the subject.
It challenges many conformist and social historic approaches to the subject and contrasts the differences between male and female views and outlooks. As I am in a happy second time relationship it is possible to be more understanding and use one`s own experience and be philosophical in looking at these issues. It seems the author highlights the difference between reality and expectation as causing a great number of problems for both individuals and consequently couples. A book to stir up opinions and discussion on what is sometimes a thorny area full of so called experts. A very valuable read and helpful background to getting married and co-habiting.
Mr M
and has many quotes and extracts from other relevant authors on the subject.
It challenges many conformist and social historic approaches to the subject and contrasts the differences between male and female views and outlooks. As I am in a happy second time relationship it is possible to be more understanding and use one`s own experience and be philosophical in looking at these issues. It seems the author highlights the difference between reality and expectation as causing a great number of problems for both individuals and consequently couples. A book to stir up opinions and discussion on what is sometimes a thorny area full of so called experts. A very valuable read and helpful background to getting married and co-habiting.
Mr M
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By Mr. R. Corfe
Format:Hardcover
The Marriage Delusion by Mike Buchanan is a brilliantly written book and a "no-put-down-read" with quotations and longer passages on every aspect of marriage and personal relationships between the sexes. He has not only put his own mind to the problems of marriage, but in the cause of objectivity has engaged in extensive research. This is a must read for anyone who is already married or who contemplates marriage in the near future. - Robert Corfe
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
By A Single Man
Format:Hardcover
A couple of days before a dinner during which I was planning to propose to my girlfriend, I was in Waterstone's in Piccadilly, looking in the `self help' section for books about relationships and marriage. In the middle of a multitude of books in the `Ten Sure Steps To An Awesome Marriage' genre was this book. The cover intrigued me and I was soon flicking through the book. I sat down with it and an hour passed by in a flash, before one of the sales assistants starting looking askance at me, so I bought it. After I read it I realised that I (in common with most people contemplating marriage in the modern era) was suffering from `the marriage delusion' - the expectation that we would enjoy a long and happy marriage. I came to understand why (like most people) I'm unsuited to the institution of marriage, and why the prospects of long-term happiness with my partner were poor. My girlfriend spotted the book in my bookshelf after I had read it, then asked if she could read it herself. A week later - having read the book - she brought round a bottle of chilled champagne, and said, `Can I make a proposal, darling?' I gulped and before I could reply, she continued, `Can I propose that we never get married?' We both laughed, I accepted her proposal, and we've never been happier. Mr Buchanan, thank you for saving me from a lot of unhappiness, and probably financial ruin too!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
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The Marriage Delusion
I would seriously recommend readers of both genders to read this book. Firstly it is always interesting reading about relationships from a man's point of view, because as the... Read more
Published on 30 Jun 2010 by Snowboot Girl
5.0 out of 5 stars
The Marriage Delusion?
I have to agree with all the comments made by A. Heslop; I too am happily married and I thoroughly enjoyed the way the author challenged my views and perception of marriage. Read more
Published on 1 Oct 2009 by Mr H
5.0 out of 5 stars
At last - some realism about marriage
Mike Buchanan pulls no punches in this book. His central assertion - that most people are unsuited to marriage - at first seems astonishing, even if the high divorce rate across... Read more
Published on 1 Oct 2009 by Mr. Gary P. Lewis
5.0 out of 5 stars
Thought provoking
The title of this book should provide an indication of the writer's perspective, but overall this is a challenging and interesting review of a difficult subject. Read more
Published on 27 Sep 2009 by A. Heslop
5.0 out of 5 stars
A fresh view on an old institution
Mike Buchanan's take on married life is undoubtedly coloured by his two divorces (so far), so he certainly speaks from experience, but by combining his own views with existing... Read more
Published on 24 Sep 2009 by D. Lomax
5.0 out of 5 stars
Compulsory Reading
Informative, amusing and invaluable. This book offers great insight into the long-term pitfalls of an age old tradition that so many people seem to naively drift into. Read more
Published on 19 Sep 2009 by G. Williams
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