One bleak, late winter's day, Julie Myerson finds herself in a graveyard, looking for traces of a young woman who died nearly two centuries before. As a child in Regency England, Mary Yelloly painted an exquisite album of watercolours that uniquely reflected the world she lived in. But Mary died at the age of twenty-one, and when Julie comes across this album, she is haunted by the potential never realised, the barely-lived life cut short. And most of all, she is reminded of her own child. Because only days earlier, Julie and her husband locked their eldest son out of the family home. He was just seventeen. How could it have come to this? After a happy growing-up, it had taken only a matter of months for this bright, sweet, good-humoured boy to completely lose his way and propel his family into daily chaos. He had discovered cannabis and was now smoking it everyday - and nothing they could say or do, no help they could offer, seemed to reach him. And Julie - whose emotionally fragile relationship with her own father had left her determined to love her children better - had to accept that she was, for the moment at least, powerless to bring back the boy she had known. Honest, warm and often profoundly upsetting, this is the parallel story of a girl and a boy separated by centuries. The circumstances are very different, but the questions remain terrifyingly the same. What happens when a child disappears from a family? What will survive of any of us in memory or in history? And how is a mother to cope when love - however absolute, however unconditional - is not enough to save her child?
The Lost Child
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Review
`Her writing is never less than compelling with its lopped lyricism, like someone who has to keep catching their breath ... The book not only has three strands, it has three audiences: Myerson, her son and anyone who has suffered anything comparable' -- Observer
A serious, writerly, self-critical account of what it means to feel that, despite love and hope and good intentions, you have failed as a parent, and that the child you bore is lost to you. -- Daily Telegraph
If the question is whether a woman has a right to tell a story that is also, actually, her own - a book reviewer can only say yes. And add that anyone who reads it will struggle not to be profoundly moved.
-- Independent
`A serious, writerly, self-critical account of what it means to feel that, despite love and hope and good intentions, you have failed as a parent, and that the child you bore (while still eerily, painfully familiar) is lost to you' -- Daily Telegraph
`It is impossible not to empathise with the Myerson's parental plight ... an aching, empty-nest memoir: a mother mourning for her uncomplicated little children, now grown, whom she could care for, write about without comeback, love - and control' -- The Times
A serious, writerly, self-critical account of what it means to feel that, despite love and hope and good intentions, you have failed as a parent, and that the child you bore is lost to you. -- Daily Telegraph
If the question is whether a woman has a right to tell a story that is also, actually, her own - a book reviewer can only say yes. And add that anyone who reads it will struggle not to be profoundly moved.
-- Independent
`A serious, writerly, self-critical account of what it means to feel that, despite love and hope and good intentions, you have failed as a parent, and that the child you bore (while still eerily, painfully familiar) is lost to you' -- Daily Telegraph
`It is impossible not to empathise with the Myerson's parental plight ... an aching, empty-nest memoir: a mother mourning for her uncomplicated little children, now grown, whom she could care for, write about without comeback, love - and control' -- The Times
Review
If the question is whether a woman has a right to tell a story that is also, actually, her own - a book reviewer can only say yes. And add that anyone who reads it will struggle not to be profoundly moved.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
By Clive A. H. Still
TOP 500 REVIEWER
Format:Paperback
This is a non-fiction book with three separate strands : an account of Julie Myerson's non-relationship with her father, a history of the Yelloly family, particularly of Mary (a talented water-colourist who died of consumption at the age of twenty-one) and finally a raw account of the skunk addiction of the author's son.
Julie Myerson is an experienced and accomplished writer and she knits these narratives together with typical skill. However, a family tree for the Yellolys would have been a great help - with a split narrative, the large cast of family members becomes very conusing. It seems hardly worth the effort of working out the familial relationships when the main interest of the book likes in the fate of the author's addicted son.
Of course the book is powered mainly by the dilemma of Julie Myerson and her husband : for how long can they support their addict son while he steals and lies to them and behaves aggressively to his siblings? At what point do they withdraw the comfort of home and start down the tough love route?
An unsettling read.
Julie Myerson is an experienced and accomplished writer and she knits these narratives together with typical skill. However, a family tree for the Yellolys would have been a great help - with a split narrative, the large cast of family members becomes very conusing. It seems hardly worth the effort of working out the familial relationships when the main interest of the book likes in the fate of the author's addicted son.
Of course the book is powered mainly by the dilemma of Julie Myerson and her husband : for how long can they support their addict son while he steals and lies to them and behaves aggressively to his siblings? At what point do they withdraw the comfort of home and start down the tough love route?
An unsettling read.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By Annie
Format:Kindle Edition
This book was written in such an honest and intriguing style that I couldn't put it down. Having had a son go through what her son went through, I relived the hell of experiencing a child taking drugs and going off the rails and was almost in tears several times. I was lucky, my son came back from the brink and is now a different person, but I feel very sorry that she has been so slated for her honesty and bravery. Well done Julie, it will help many people to read your account. I also thoroughly enjoyed the Mary Yelloly slant running through the book, fascinating stuff!
36 of 48 people found the following review helpful
By Alison
Format:Hardcover
I wanted to read this book because I had been through a similar experience with one of my children. I had followed the story in the press and on TV and I wanted to know just how bad it had been for Julie Myerson that should could throw her own son out on the street and call it tough love.
I found the book totally confusing with three stories running through it and I was only really interested in reading the account of life with her teenage son. As I suspected things really had not been that bad. At least Jake was still attending school sporadically and he was not smoking skunk in their house. Ok he hit her which is bad but I got the feeling that this was a very one sided account of what actually happened that day. Having been through similar situations myself, I know that there are two sides to this story and her infuriating self centered attitude just shows why she has failed as a mother.
I was also confused as to why Julie recounted the story of her own sad childhood. Does she think it's an excuse for her own poor parenting. It's a shame that she didn't think about seeing a therapist before she had children. Hopefully it would have given her some insight and she would have realized that she was far too self absorbed to successfully raise a family. What the author has done by throwing her son out and then writing about it is to prolong the problem. "Her boy" is stuck. Had she loved him unconditionally and chosen not to write about this, I suspect that this phase in their lives would be long gone. I guess she decided that money was more important to her though. I wonder how she'll be able to live with herself in the future. How this mother could have thrown her son out at 17 when she owned two other properties that she could have escaped to when she needed a break is incomprehensible. That she has decided to publish this book at all is disgusting. To publish it when he is just twenty is unforgivable.
Setting aside the confusing story lines, this book is poorly written and only held my interest because of the subject matter. However, if you want a manual on how not to raise teenagers then this is the book for you.
I found the book totally confusing with three stories running through it and I was only really interested in reading the account of life with her teenage son. As I suspected things really had not been that bad. At least Jake was still attending school sporadically and he was not smoking skunk in their house. Ok he hit her which is bad but I got the feeling that this was a very one sided account of what actually happened that day. Having been through similar situations myself, I know that there are two sides to this story and her infuriating self centered attitude just shows why she has failed as a mother.
I was also confused as to why Julie recounted the story of her own sad childhood. Does she think it's an excuse for her own poor parenting. It's a shame that she didn't think about seeing a therapist before she had children. Hopefully it would have given her some insight and she would have realized that she was far too self absorbed to successfully raise a family. What the author has done by throwing her son out and then writing about it is to prolong the problem. "Her boy" is stuck. Had she loved him unconditionally and chosen not to write about this, I suspect that this phase in their lives would be long gone. I guess she decided that money was more important to her though. I wonder how she'll be able to live with herself in the future. How this mother could have thrown her son out at 17 when she owned two other properties that she could have escaped to when she needed a break is incomprehensible. That she has decided to publish this book at all is disgusting. To publish it when he is just twenty is unforgivable.
Setting aside the confusing story lines, this book is poorly written and only held my interest because of the subject matter. However, if you want a manual on how not to raise teenagers then this is the book for you.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
The Lost Child book review
Excellent book, helps others in a similar situation not to feel alone, admired her honesty. Felt that someone actually understood.
Published 23 days ago by Anne Green
3.0 out of 5 stars
The Lost Child
Not sure if I like this book or not, it flits about all over the place.
However, it does bring to the fore the problems you can have with your children and makes you think... Read more
However, it does bring to the fore the problems you can have with your children and makes you think... Read more
Published 12 months ago by Ab
1.0 out of 5 stars
awful
This book is a terrible invasion on the privacy of the author's son who, shock horror, smoked cannabis. Read more
Published 14 months ago by Aftiti
1.0 out of 5 stars
a record of bad parenting
the author seeks to profit and further her career by telling her side of the story. she threw her son out of her home when he was just 17 because he smoked cannabis. Read more
Published 14 months ago by soundofsleep
5.0 out of 5 stars
Dont condem if you have no experience of this drug....
I read this novel because at the time we are going through a similar crisis with our boy, also coincidentally, named Jake. Read more
Published on 1 Mar 2011 by whitewitch
2.0 out of 5 stars
Selective Perspective
I read the book knowing very little about Julie and her son's problems, just that there had been a bit of a media splash last year. Read more
Published on 4 July 2010 by Ginny W
5.0 out of 5 stars
The Lost Child by Julie Myerson
In the first opening pages i could have cried! I could have written the words.....this was real, this is true, it is what really happens in the home behind the closed doors when... Read more
Published on 20 May 2010 by bex
5.0 out of 5 stars
Fascinating and emotional.
At the time Julie Myerson was writing and researching this book on Mary Yelloly, a talented young girl that lived a couple of centuries ago, her own life was in turmoil. Read more
Published on 2 April 2010 by C. Colley
5.0 out of 5 stars
Caused quite a stir...
Julie Myerson's new book has created quite a stir, both in England when it was published in Spring, 2009 and here in the US in August, 2009. Read more
Published on 13 Mar 2010 by Jill Meyer
5.0 out of 5 stars
inore the snitty literary reviews.
This is a book for the parents of lost children.Those who focus on stylistic mismatch,or jibe about the not always seamless narrative;completely miss the point. Read more
Published on 29 Oct 2009 by emvanek
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