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The Little Book of Crap Excuses [Paperback]

Michael Powell
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)

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Book Description

26 July 2001 Little book
In life, we all make mistakes. It's how we get out of them that shows our presence of mind. However, not everyone has this particular skill. From the wrong sort of snow to the dog ate it via I fell on the vacuum - how anyone ever thought they'd get away with these howlers is a complete mystery. The Little Book of Crap Excuses is a hilarious collection of pointless prevarication, walloping white lies and appalling apologies. Insurance claim: Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. Jonah's mother: That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days.

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Product details

  • Paperback: 96 pages
  • Publisher: Michael O'Mara Books Ltd (26 July 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1854798820
  • ISBN-13: 978-1854798824
  • Product Dimensions: 9.4 x 8.1 x 0.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,184,355 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
118 of 125 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant 16 Aug 2001
By A Customer
If you're looking for a good new little book, this is it. It's got hilarious stuff like 'Excuses to use when presenting yourself at a hospital with a vegetable lodged up your backside'and lots of those railway excuses for delays like 'leaves on the line' and 'the driver is still eating his sandwiches'. There are great sections on sports excuses, how to end bad dates, ridiculous excuses for missing work (e.g. 'The four-armed fisting monkeys just escaped from the zoo. The police are advising everyone to stay indoors today.')and what politicians really mean when they roll out those glib phrases like "We have no quarrel with their people" (which translates into 'we will bomb the suckers until the crazy guy with the moustache has no one left to rule.'). This is definitely one of the best little books around at the moment.
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1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
There are many humerous books in 'The Little Book of...' series. Their content covers diverse subjects and in this book is found a collection of 'excuses' that are funny because they appear to fly in the face of logic, and are motivated by the pure egotistical considerations. These type of excuse does not even try to appear plausible and is often a product of a rushed response to over-whelming, difficult, or surprising circumstance. As a consequence hese excuses are termed 'crap'.

The paperback (2001) edition is pocket sized and contains 93 numbered pages. The excuses vary in length, but each page usually contains more than one excuse. There is no Contents page and no Index, but haphazardly spread throughout the book are expedient headings such as:

A Note From Your Mother...
Eat Then Cheat
Save Pounds
Doctor, Doctor
Kinky
It Just Came Out of Nowhere...
You've Never Had It So Good
I'd Love To But...
Biblical ExcusesExcuses for Dialling 999
Is That The Time?
We Was Robbed, etc.

The backcover contains something of an Introduction written by the author - Michael Powell. This explains that we all make mistakes but often lack the skill to react coherently. Incoherent responses become 'crap excuses' For instance, the backcover quotes the following:

'I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.' (David Dinkins, former Mayor of New York City)

At the end of the book the author thanks all those who have contributed via email to the content of this book, but regrets the fact that individual contributions can not be acknowledged. An interesting read.
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