- Paperback: 392 pages
- Publisher: Vintage Books Canada (23 Nov 1999)
- Language English
- ISBN-10: 067931007X
- ISBN-13: 978-0679310075
- Product Dimensions: 14 x 1.9 x 21.6 cm
- Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 575,514 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
The Lifestyle: A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers
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Product Description
Product Description
CAN OPEN EROTICISM between more than two consenting adults be considered natural sexual behaviour? Is it possible to experience sex with other partners while happily ensconced in an emotionally monogamous marriage? Didn't this type of sexual "swinging" disappear with the 1960s and '70s? What are millions of middle-class couples getting up to on the weekend? These are the questions that arose as award-winning investigative journalist Terry Gould embarked upon a journey through a thriving subculture known as "the lifestyle."
Ignored, dismissed or denigrated by the mainstream media, ordinary, married couples in the lifestyle are now getting together to openly express their erotic fantasies. Acting within strict rules of etiquette, everyday people -- social workers, physicians, school teachers -- participate in everything from sexual costume parties to multipartner sex as a form of social recreation within marriage.
Is swinging merely an invention of sexually permissive modern times? As Gould discovered, the phenomenon has roots that go back thousands of years. From prehistoric fertility rituals to Dionysian festivals, from the nineteenth-century Onieda commune to the twentieth-century social mirror of films such as Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice and The Ice Storm, spouse sharing has always been a part of human sexual practice.
A deeper biological urge seems to motivate this pleasure-seeking practice, one that combines two paradoxical urges: the drive to seek long term partners for raising offspring and the equally powerful drive for sexual and genetic variety. Lifestyle couples have resolved these conflicting urges.
For the rest of us, including our law enforcement agencies, the lifestyle can appear pornographic when strobe-lit by the camera's flash. But examined in the cool light of the latest research on evolutionary and emotional roots of human sexuality, the practices of lifestylers assume a profound meaning for all. The Lifestyle gives us a controversial and unique understanding of what it means to be part of a fast-growing subculture of consenting, mainstream adults who are changing the rules of sexual behavior for pair-bonded humans. Then again, perhaps they aren't changing anything at all.
Ignored, dismissed or denigrated by the mainstream media, ordinary, married couples in the lifestyle are now getting together to openly express their erotic fantasies. Acting within strict rules of etiquette, everyday people -- social workers, physicians, school teachers -- participate in everything from sexual costume parties to multipartner sex as a form of social recreation within marriage.
Is swinging merely an invention of sexually permissive modern times? As Gould discovered, the phenomenon has roots that go back thousands of years. From prehistoric fertility rituals to Dionysian festivals, from the nineteenth-century Onieda commune to the twentieth-century social mirror of films such as Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice and The Ice Storm, spouse sharing has always been a part of human sexual practice.
A deeper biological urge seems to motivate this pleasure-seeking practice, one that combines two paradoxical urges: the drive to seek long term partners for raising offspring and the equally powerful drive for sexual and genetic variety. Lifestyle couples have resolved these conflicting urges.
For the rest of us, including our law enforcement agencies, the lifestyle can appear pornographic when strobe-lit by the camera's flash. But examined in the cool light of the latest research on evolutionary and emotional roots of human sexuality, the practices of lifestylers assume a profound meaning for all. The Lifestyle gives us a controversial and unique understanding of what it means to be part of a fast-growing subculture of consenting, mainstream adults who are changing the rules of sexual behavior for pair-bonded humans. Then again, perhaps they aren't changing anything at all.
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Terry Gould has finally done the homework, done the research and compiled an honest, non-judgemental look at this natural, open and rapidly evolving way of life. He dispells the myths and misconceptions that this subject always seems to have engendered in the minds of the uninitiated. Because of his work, more and more curious, open-minded people will take a better look at this lifestyle and many more who have been practicing it quietly will come forward and say, "It is OK to be the way we are, to love the way love, enjoy friendships the way we do and approach our lives with the sense of adventure that keeps us youthful, vital and happy." This type of journalism will surely help lift the stigma that has unfairly stained this arena for a very long time. It is a study that is liberating in many areas and is a "must read" for anyone who is in the Lifestyle and for anyone who is curious about the Lifestyle. Hopefully more authors will take up the gauntlet and shed even more light into the shadows.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
this is the first book to be written by an objective investigative reporter. it is written by an outsider who got inside to see what really goes on in the lifestyle. i felt this was reported in a accurate portrayal of how I think the lifestyle really is. Ihope more can be written on this growing sub-culture of society. well done! sheilamark
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com:
13 reviews
39 of 39 people found the following review helpful
Very accurate and insightful
14 Jun 2000
Format:Paperback
As a member of one of the clubs 'featured' in the book, I can confirm the accuracy, not only in a factual sense but in getting the correct 'feel' for how things work in 'the lifestyle' so many of us love. While I might quibble with some conclusions, I didn't at any time find the book to be significantly off the mark. It rings true to those of us on the inside, and you can't ask for more than that in this sort of book.
If you are a swinger, you will appreciate the history and analysis of what we do. If you are thinking about swinging, it will give you a good idea what you should expect (and what you should bring to the experience). And, if you have only a curiosity about it, this will tell you what you want to know in an unbiased, unvarnished manner.
39 of 41 people found the following review helpful
A serious look at swinging
10 Jan 2000
Format:Paperback
The subject is, on the surface, swinging - sharing sexual partners. A closer look shows that the subject is the dynamics of close relationships. There is much written about the subject of relationships, so, you may ask why I think swingers have something to say? My answer is that swingers removed the taboos and discarded the 'already known facts' before examining the subject.
The book is not, I say, a definitive work. It is more of an investigation. It is far more complete, accurate, unbiased, thoughtful, and provocative than anything else I have seen on the subject. It will be quite valuable to anybody who reads it. I do not mean that whoever reads this book will see that swinging is the way to go - not at all. You don't have to be a swinger to benefit from what swingers have learned just as you don't have to be an astronomer to benefit from what astronomers know.
48 of 53 people found the following review helpful
Not what I was looking for....
24 Oct 2001
Format:Paperback
As a couple contemplating the lifestyle, we were told this was the best book to read on the subject. Now, I would agree if I were interested in knowing all the historical facts regarding swinging, and if I needed a lot of facts to help me rationalize my decision and why it would not be wrong to swing. What I really wanted to know were about the emotional aspects that I could encounter, how to initiate contact with people, what to expect my first time, etc. Instead I found most of the stories with "real people" to take place at a resort, not a situation I am likely to be in. I think this book would be for somebody already involved in the lifestyle rather then somebody curious about it. It was very well written and researched, though.
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