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The Incredible Years Paperback – 1 Mar 2006


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Product details

  • Paperback: 320 pages
  • Publisher: The Incredible Years (1 Mar. 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1892222043
  • ISBN-13: 978-1892222046
  • Product Dimensions: 15.2 x 2 x 22.9 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (57 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 3,793 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

177 of 180 people found the following review helpful By C. Longden on 1 Jun. 2007
Format: Paperback
Summary: The best book you can ever buy on Parenting

Reviewer: UK Parent who wants common-sense guidance

A work colleague told me about this book when I was complaining about my toddlers excessive tantrums. My colleague was so enthusiastic about it - that I purchased the book. I have read quite a lot about parenting small children, but none have been able to mix theory and practice in such a realistic way as 'The Incredible Years' does.

This is a truly sensible, middle-of-the-road book. Yet its approach is so refreshing and encouraging for parents. So much of today's popular (i.e. TV Nannies etc..!) approach seems to take the attitude of 'You must exert absolute CONTROL on your kids or they will control you!!'. If thats what you already believe, then this book also isnt for you. Similarly, if you are at the other extreme and believe that every facet of your child's behaviour is simply a valid approach to'just expressing themselves' and that they will learn their own rules for life as they grow, then this book will also irk you.

The Incredible Years encourages parents to look at the world through the eyes of the child - but it teaches them, as adults, a very simple but important technique of building stepping stones of behaviour. Interestingly, Webster-Stratton does not focus on the child's behaviour, but on the PARENT'S BEHAVIOUR as being the key to improving family relationships. For example, her first focus is on the overriding importance of genuine PRAISE in order to minimise behaviour that seeks negative attention, and on building up a 'praise bank'. There is a great deal of emphasis on PLAY - learning to play with your child (as oppose to trying to teach them how to 'play properly'.
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49 of 52 people found the following review helpful By N. Wood on 3 Mar. 2008
Format: Paperback
I am a clinical child psychologist. I do a lot of work both with individual parents and with parents in groups - amongst other things - running the 12 week 'Incredible Years' parenting course. I always advise parents to read this book, and they consistently report back that it is highly readable, accessible and helpful in its focus on strategies they can actually understand and use. Its focus on the more positive aspects of parenting is great. Parents, especially those of us with more 'sparky' children, can tend to focus on the more punitive aspects of parenting such a time out or applying sanctions or punishments. The Incredible years redresses this and encourages a focus on spending time with and building your relationship with your children. Section 3 on coping with common behaviour problems is always mentioned as invaluable by parents. Read it!
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25 of 27 people found the following review helpful By mummyof3 on 26 April 2008
Format: Paperback
I have done the Webster-Stratton course as i was having problems with my son who is 8yrs old, and we were given this book to read at home, and it is brilliant! The advice given makes sence and after a week of starting the course the change in my son was amazing. It really does work if you follow the books principles from the beginning and contiune it throughout. NO way would i sell this, its my bible now!
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45 of 52 people found the following review helpful By D. M. Hardcastle on 15 Oct. 2007
Format: Paperback
Can't add much to what the previous reviewer said - if you want a really helpful approach that will make difference to the whole atmosphere in your house, buy this book! No nonsense, fads or requirements to sign up to an entire "parenting philosphy", this book takes the heat and agony out of those moments when, much as you love them, you want to throw your kids out of the window, and in time, helps to drastically reduce their frequency!

Marvellous. Ideal for those parents who can't be doing with either Gina Ford or Attachment Parenting but just want sensible, practical and extraordinarily well researched advice. The book is based on work done with 3000 families!

Can't recommend it highly enough.

(PS - I have also found it to be the most useful book for my husband, he would never sit through an entire Penelope Leach type book but with this I can show him a particular paragraph about, for example, why our son isn't taking any notice of what he is saying and he reads it and says "oh yeah!" and that's that!)
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By MR I HARRIS on 6 Aug. 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
We bought this book as to accompany the Webster Stratton that we went on, At first I was very sceptical, but after just a few weeks it worked.
The book takes you back to basics with your child, learning you how to play as a child so gets you thinking as a child, with that as a foundation it builds on positive praise and positive re enforcement, thus reinforcing the type of behaviour you want your child to display.
Some times it feels like a foreign language, but in reality it's obvious.... Drop the negatives and be a positive parent.
It's not an instant fix it's something that takes time, but the more you put in the more you get out. As each child is individual there is no specific do this or do that..... It's more try this or this.... It's a tool box of things you can use.
And even if you have an angelic 2 yr old it's still handy to have the tools for when your child decides to push the boundaries .
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By Mrs M on 8 April 2014
Format: Paperback
I completed the incredible years course and am now purchasing book as it provides great dip in sections to look back on when a certain issue arises. I have read Jo Frost also which has pretty much the same concepts (except for time out where IY is completely different to how we all know it) but this book is more like a guide for dummies. All behaviour books explain to give lots of praise, but IY explains exactly how to give plenty of praise for specific issues. Most parents will praise their child for learning a new skill, but what about praising them for listening to their parents? And labelling it so they know what they're being praised for. All positive behaviour should be praised.
IY has given me so much more confidence in knowing why my child does certain things and how I could (not should) deal with it. The pyramid shows that most behavioural problems need to be solved by starting with lots of (positive) attention and praise. The time out strategy used is actually time out to calm down not time out to be punished, and once the time is completed, it is not mentioned again and you must praise the first positive behaviour you see.
My daughter is 18 months and has already responded positively to strategies I have implemented. My favourites are ignoring unwanted behaviour (except violence) and natural consequences. I have used ignoring effectively for whingeing, and natural consequence for pouring her drinks on the floor (if you don't drink it nicely ill take it off you) which means she now chooses not to do it.
You have to be very consistent and persistent for these strategies to work or you'll end up giving time out all the time which will only work if the rest is being put into practice (see pyramid). I can definitely recommend the course which I completed for free through my local sure start centre.
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