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The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse [Abridged, Audiobook, CD] [Audio CD]

Robert Rankin
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (54 customer reviews)

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Book Description

7 July 2005

Once upon a time Jack set out to find his fortune in the big city. But the big city is Toy City, formerly known as Toy Town, and it has grown considerably since the good old days and isn't all that jolly any more. And there is a serial killer loose on the streets. The old, rich nursery rhyme characters are being slaughtered one by one and the Toy City police are getting nowhere in their investigations. Meanwhile, Private Eye Bill Winkie has gone missing, leaving behind his sidekick Eddie Bear to take care of things.

Eddie may be a battered teddy with an identity crisis, but someone's got to stop the killer. When he teams up with Jack, the two are ready for the challenge. Not to mention the heavy drinking, bad behaviour, car chases, gratuitous sex and violence, toy fetishism and all-round grossness along the way. It's going to be an epic adventure!

Read by Robert Rankin

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Product details

  • Audio CD
  • Publisher: Orion (7 July 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0752873083
  • ISBN-13: 978-0752873084
  • Product Dimensions: 14.2 x 12 x 2.4 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (54 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,110,787 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Robert Rankin describes himself as a teller of tall tales. The Morning Star describes him as 'The Master of Silliness', and his publisher describes him as The Master of Far Fetched Fiction. He is the author of more than thirty novels, of which he has sold millions of copies, and he is published - and making people laugh - around the world.

Despite his remarkable publishing success, Robert has never taken himself too seriously. He loves going on tour, signing books for readers, and his appearances at signings and conventions are legendary, often including a stand-up routine, a song (accompanied by his 'air-ukulele'), and an always-entertaining question-and-answer session. Robert Rankin is a great entertainer, whether in person or through his novels, with wit, humour and an incredible personal warmth.

But that's not all! In addition to being a talented writer, comedian and musician, he's also an incredible artist . . . so incredible, that he creates his own stunning book covers.

Reading his books can and will inspire you, scare you, thrill you and, above all, entertain you. His novels are an outlet for the soul, and food for the imagination.

The Brentford Trilogy:

The Antipope
The Brentford Triangle
East of Ealing
The Sprouts of Wrath
The Brentford Chainstore Massacre
Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls
Knees Up Mother Earth
The Brightonomicon

The Armageddon Trilogy:

Armageddon: The Musical
They Came and Ate Us
The Suburban Book of the Dead

Cornelius Murphy Novels:

The Book of Ultimate Truths
Raiders of the Lost Car Park
The Most Amazing Man Who Ever Lived

The Trilogy That Dare Not Speak Its Name:

Sprout Mask Replica
The Dance of the Voodoo Handbag
Waiting for Godalming

The Witches Trilogy:

The Witches of Chiswick
Knees Up Mother Earth
The Brightonomicon

Eddie Bear Novels:

The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse
The Toyminator

Standalone Novels:

The Greatest Show Off Earth
The Garden of Unearthly Delights
A Dog Called Demolition
Nostradamus Ate My Hamster
Snuff Fiction
Web Site Story
The Fandom of the Operator
The Da-da-de-da-da Code

Product Description

Amazon Review

In Robert Rankin's latest warped fantasy, a serial killer is murdering notable nursery-rhyme characters and leaving very special sweeties as calling cards at the scene of each crime: The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse.

Humpty Dumpty is the first of Toy City's upper crust to sleep with the fishes. Boiled alive in his own swimming pool. A nasty fate, but maybe not as nasty as Little Boy Blue's, with his own shepherd's crook thrust a long way into a place where the sun does not shine.

Bill Winkie the P.I. has gone missing, and his hard-drinking teddybear sidekick Eddie takes up the case. Down these mean streets a bear must go. He needs a hand, though--two hands, owing to a lack of opposable thumbs--and reluctantly teams up with "gormster" country boy Jack, who foolishly thinks he can make his fortune in Toy City.

Of course the police, jolly bouncy rubber policemen who are sadistic at heart, object to interfering freelances. So does the mystery assassin, who seems to be a curvaceous woman in a kinky rubber outfit--death on high heels. Even kindly old Mother Goose, madame of the Toy City brothel, gets her neck wrung before she can talk, and Eddie is in serious danger of losing his very stuffing.

Fast, demented, fairytale-noir action, filled with gruesomely silly deaths, self-referential thriller gags, and the true meanings of those nursery rhymes whose royalties made Humpty and the rest so rich.

Robert Rankin is fond of introducing peculiar, repeated figures of speech, and this book's is the Maddeningly Incomplete Simile. Like this: Hollow Chocolate Bunnies is as good as. It's as weird as. It's as deeply bonkers as. In short, it's as Rankin as.--David Langford --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.


¿quirky, funny, and delightful comedy of errors cum detective story includes a fantastic cast¿.Robert Rankin reads this audiobook with surprising ease, giving decent characterization to his main characters and maintaining a moderate pace throughout. His emphasis for text as well as speech certainly works well within the audiobook. Upbeat musical tunes carry listeners from one scene or chapter to the next. The sound production and narrator provide an impressive production¿.highly recommended!¿ (Lance Eaton

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Surrealistic, silly and enjoyable 19 Jan 2003
This is the first Robert Rankin novel I have read, and I have to say it was different from anything else I've ever read before.
I've avoided Rankins books before, thinking they sounded too silly and surrealistic for my tastes. However, while The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse certainly is bizzare, it is also a very interresting and entertaining read. It is a murder mystery set in a fantasy universe, with elements of comedy, horror and fairy tales.
The language is simple, as other reviewers have mentioned, but this in my opinion is not a bad thing. You almost feel as though you are reading a childrens book, a young childrens book even, and then Rankin hits you in the face with a horribly graphic murder or severly adult themes. The book at times has that disturbing feel of the nightmares you have as a child; the monsters under the bed are real, and that scary, ugly old toy really IS alive...
I reccomend this book to anyone seeking a different kind of reading experience, even if you are not a fan of fantasy or other speculative fiction. Personally, I will certainly be looking into other works by Rankin.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fun Fun Fun 25 Aug 2004
This is without doubt the funniest book I have ever read. I'll be honest I read the first few pages and thought this was a waste of money and after reading the back of the book I should have known better but by page 2 I started to get into it and by page 3 (not unusual) I was hooked!!! Eddie the bear is great fun and the banter between him and Jack is excellent. The jokes are well thought out an all though with some jokes you can see whats going to happen ie the Fat Sod caractures suicede bid the way it is written once you get to the punch line though you knew it was coming you STILL laugh loud and hard.
Buy this book. I've started on The Fandom of the Operator and I'm all ready hooked. so scratch buy this book buy all his books one by one and laugh.
(I wonder if I got my point over well enough?)
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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A good first Rankin read. 4 Oct 2002
I was hooked on this book from the first chapter. This is the first Rankin book I've read, so I can't compare it with any of the Brentford books, but it has taken a place in my list of favorite books. Rankin's phrasing and language sets up a wonderfully sinister atmosphere, and the dark (and slightly smutty) humour fits well. The ending isn't (too) predictable and some plot twists *do* come as a surpise.
I would recommend this book to anyone who isn't offended easily. There's dark humour but 'Hollow Chocolate Bunnies' is still lighthearted and fun. The story itself is entertaining and the first chapter's a gem.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars of Rankin's best. 16 Mar 2004
By A Customer
I found this book completely fascinating. It's humour...with so much more than one would expect. Chocolate bunnies, alcohol- and sex-addicted teddies, and fairy tale creatures gone bad. I often found myself laughing out loud and it will keep you hooked from the very first page. I have read quite a few of Rankin's books, and this one, along with the Antipope, are in my opinion his best.
If you are a Douglas Adams, Tom Holt or Terry Prachett fan, I can assure you, you will enjoy this book. Buy this book. Or don't...your loss.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Ahhh finally 15 Oct 2007
By Plato
Finally a book that has everything, drunkenness, violence, police brutality, sex, car chases, guns and soft toys.

This book is fantastic.
The four star rating is because it's not perfect. however for what it is, which is a funny weird mind expanding book it out does almost everything in terms or originality and kept me reading constantly.
Another reason for a four and not five star rating is because it made me get only three hours sleep on a Sunday night rendering me useless at work.

The story is fast moving and keeps you guessing; obviously there's no way you could know what's coming next in a book like this and that's why it's so much fun to read. This book is escapism at practically its greatest it takes the reader out of this sometimes overly serious world and gives the mind a chance to exorcise its imagination again.

This is the first fiction I have read for a few years and I don't know why I stopped. If you need a book to help get you through a little bit of life then this is it, conjuring up vivid images and hilarious conversations between the characters Robert Rankin has created a pearl of a book.

So in summary if you have a lot on your mind and need to forget, read this book it is funny and easy going. After a reading session you may (as I did) find yourself wondering how economic it must be for a teddy to go and get drunk.

What have you got to loose.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars 'The hollow chocolate bunnies of the WHAT?!?' 17 Sep 2003
It was the title that first caught my attention- 'The hollow chocolate bunnies of the WHAT?!?' it was an unputdownable and unforgettable read.
So you think you know how the fairy tales work do you? damsels in distress and knights in shinning armour? Forget it, Robert Rankin brings an unbelievable twist to the stories we all thought we knew and loved. Humpty Dumpty is hard boiled like well ... an egg and little boy blue has his cane shoved up where the sun doesn't shine. but that is just the beginning. Jack, one of the countless in The city, has come to seek his fortune. unfortunately he has missed one tiny detail- The city is actually Toy City and this is only the start of his problems. He ends up teaming up with a rather raggedy teddy bear who goes by the name of Eddie, the bear of one ex private eye, Bill Winkle, they decide to follow up the murders and save Toy City from a fate worse than death. And from there things go off in a world of their own.
This wonderful book has all the fast paced action you would expect from a serious thriller with all of the laughs one would normally expect from Terry Prachett.
if you are looking for something different, something completely captivating then this is the book for you.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
Disappointed as this was an abridged version and we missed certain bits from the original story
Published 1 month ago by Carole Pielichaty
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
This book is brilliant. Funny, nostalgic, dark.
Published 1 month ago by Misschell
4.0 out of 5 stars wow!
Wow! An unusual story with unexpected twists and turns. Not the type of book i would normally choose but it turned out to be a page-turner.Totally unbelievably believable.
Published 2 months ago by Caroline
5.0 out of 5 stars Read the forgotten nursery rhymes before you start
Loved this book. A brilliant mix of detective work in a fantasy setting. I was able to place myself in that world and 'see' the characters. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Dawne J M Gardner
3.0 out of 5 stars Not my usual reading matter!
Not sure how to review this! This was not the sort of book I would normally pick up - it was the choice of a readers' group. Read more
Published 8 months ago by Wynne Kelly
3.0 out of 5 stars Book club reading
Two copies purchased, one for self and other for another book clubber. Loved the book and have loaned it to colleagues. Very funny and different take on a story
Published 10 months ago by MRS J P WESTACOTT
5.0 out of 5 stars Seriously Satisfying Reading by Robert Rankin
Note this is a review of unabridged audio version read by the author Robert Rankin.

Well this book was a surprise - a big one, as big as Humpty Dumpty's inflated... Read more
Published 10 months ago by Glenn Cook
5.0 out of 5 stars Hollow Chocolate Bunnies...
Brilliant story, as you would expect from Mr Rankin, but he also has a great voice for the narration. Really glad that I bought it, highly recommended.
Published 10 months ago by Mrs Elizabeth R Spencer
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book - funny and (as nursey ryme characters, and a teddy)...
Great read. If you like books written by Douglas Adams, Tom Sharpe, Tom Holt and Terry Pratchett then you'll like this. Read more
Published 11 months ago by L. C. Potiphar
3.0 out of 5 stars Raises a smile!
I enjoyed this and am part way through the 2nd in the series, but not as laugh out loud funny as The Cornelius Murphy books
Published 11 months ago by Mrs Amanda Porter
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