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The Hitman Diaries [Kindle Edition]

Danny King
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Ian Bridges has a job he excels at, works his own hours and earns good money, but he's not a happy man. He wants more from life and longs to find that special lady to share his success with. The problem is the only women he ever meets in his line of work usually end up dead.

Still, Bridges is not to be put off and he's determined to find his Miss Right even if it means him having to kill every women in Britain.

'King's writing is sharp and his humour as black and Donald Rumsfeld's heart' – Maxim

'Danny King is quick becoming the Nick Horny of British crime fiction' – The Big Issue in the North

'King's prose has no limits of resource, invention and cracking humour' – London Student Guide

'A politically incorrect read that'll make you both wince and smile' – Tangled Web UK

'The Hitman Diaries is very funny and so compelling that once started it has to be finished – a fundamental quality of successful crime novels. A grubby, guilty pleasure' – The Times

'One of the few writers who can make me laugh out loud' – David Baddiel

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 678 KB
  • Print Length: 270 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005MU9TC8
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #50,318 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

Danny King is an award-winning British novelist and screenwriter.

Born in Slough, United Kingdom in 1969 he has worked as a hod carrier, a supermarket shelf stacker, a painter & decorator, a postman and a magazine editor and today uses these rich experiences to dodge all of the aforementioned. He has written 14 books to date, eight of which were originally published by Serpent's Tail, two by Byker Books, as well as screenplays for both the big and small screens.

His first book, The Burglar Diaries, won the 2002 Writers' Bursary Award and was the basis of his BBC sitcom, Thieves Like Us (2007). And his first feature film, Wild Bill, won both the 2012 Writers' Guild of Great Britain Award and a BAFTA nomination for Outstanding Debut.

He lives in Chichester, West Sussex with wife, Jeannie and two children and divides his time between writing and wondering what to write about. For further details go to

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Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Ok, ish. Not quite a 3. 6 Aug. 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I was recommended this on the basis that I like John Niven. This is no Kill Your Friends. The writing style is a fairly poor imitation of Niven/Easton Ellis, though I wouldn't go so far as to say it is bad. For a cult novel there is no real humour after the first chapter. The main character is fairly dull. The other characters are fairly dull. The plot doesn't twist - it just ends where you'd have expected it to after the first couple of chapters. Not the worst book I've read, but well below average.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Bought on a whim 3 Oct. 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Bought this book on a whim from my Kindle recommended list and really enjoyed it. Light and with humor right the way through it was an easy read which proved hard to put down.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An absolute MUST for anyone wanting a laugh! 2 Feb. 2012
By Mark Philpott VINE VOICE
Format:Kindle Edition
This is one of my favourite funny books of all time and I still don't think I have ever laughed so much at the opening of any other book. It was just perfect for my sense of humour and I was instantly hooked.

Now I should point out here, anyone from the overly sensitive PC brigade is not going to care for this book. Some might say it's a morally dubious, slightly sick tale. I say, fine, as long as it's funny I really don't care. And this IS funny, very, very funny. And, I would say, quite sweet deep, deep down.

The story follows the diary of eastender Ian whose profession is, you've guessed it, a hit man.

Ian is very good at his job, sometimes a little too good in fact. His proclivity for death dealing is such that he sometimes bumps people off without quite meaning to. Naturally, this is playing havoc with his chances of finding Miss Right, which is Ian's number one quest in life. Only once he's found true love can he finally be happy and complete; but it's hard when, every time you get close to someone, you end up murdering them (not always by choice either).

This is Ian's dilemma and we follow him through various hits, reluctantly taking on a protégée, dealing with the odd bit of gangland warfare, fighting with the ghost of his dead mother and, of course, a number of very short lived relationships.
The world through Ian's eyes is told in an amusingly blunt fashion (although, Ian is a reasonably erudite fellow compared to the characters in King's earlier work "The Burglar Diaries") and nothing is watered down or shielded from the viewer. From his deeply personal worries about the correct dating etiquette, right through to the best way to dispose of a body at sea, Ian's world is laid bare for us to examine and laugh at.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolute Corker 11 Jan. 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
This is, out of all of Danny King's books, my absolute favourite. I've read this once a year since I first bought it - back in 2004 - and there are always bits that I've missed. Danny King has a fantastic way with words and has a great line in snappy dialogue, without it coming across as contrived. If you haven't read any of Danny King's books before, go for this one first then work your way through the others.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Too much wallowing around 14 Jan. 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This book meanders through each chapter verging on the point of being boring on quite a few occasions. I felt like I had suffered a lot by the end of the book! My first excursion into Danny King and likely to be my last.
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By Aidan
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I've read a few Danny King books, they all tend to be about characters you really wouldn't want to meet in the real world but can really enjoy the company of when they're safely on a page. The Hitman Diaries' central character is, you guessed it, A Hitman, he kills indiscriminately, if he's told to or he deems it necessary the person in question is dead. A horrible character trait, and yet Danny King has turned this person into a likeable fella that you really warm too and ultimately hope can sort his (very) messed up life out.

The book is very funny, I read over half of it on a plane and got some funny looks as I laughed out loud, and even at times touching. Not something you'd necessarily expect with a book of this title, but something I have come to expect from Danny King. I enjoy the way the characters talk to each other and the inner monologue and struggles that go on in our anti-hero's head - this is the real strength of the book. The only reason I didn't give the book 5 stars was because I didn't enjoy the action scenes as much as the rest of the book and there are a couple of weighty action sections that I felt dragged a bit, other than that it's a great read and I'll be dipping into another Danny King book very soon.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderfully dark! 13 Jan. 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
With the darkest humour and pathos Danny King achieves the almost impossible. He gives us the ultimate anti-hero. A man with no feelings, guilt or remorse towards his victims yet we cannot help but feel pity then sympathy and ultimately empathy as he seeks redemption.
I loved this book from start to finish and cannot wait to read more of Danny Kings work.
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4.0 out of 5 stars An enjoyable read 7 Jan. 2014
By NicDW
Format:Kindle Edition
I like my books to provide light entertainment and this one certainly did. Some great quotes, a fast paced story and written in an easy going but eloquent style. I shall be reading more from this author.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Great book, really enjoyed this and have bought others by the author
Published 2 months ago by Paul Manning
4.0 out of 5 stars a great read, you will laugh...
different and (in places) very very funny.. a great read and an interesting storyline too.
Published 7 months ago by lefka
4.0 out of 5 stars Readable
Very readable, amusing book. The observational comedy is very good but it's not all about the laughs, there is a good story line as well.
Published 20 months ago by Walnut Baby
5.0 out of 5 stars A killer Read and very funny
I first read this book when it first came out. Reading it again almost ten years later, I remember just how funny this is. It had me laughing out loud. Read more
Published 21 months ago by Hazzard4Life
5.0 out of 5 stars couldn't put it down
really good read, once i'd picked it up i was hooked and it didn't take me too long to read. now reading more by the same author
Published 22 months ago by david-james webster
5.0 out of 5 stars Good
Definitely a fan more please. Cannot decide what to read next too much choice
I only read these books as a recommendation, and have to say well worth it
Published 23 months ago by Kenneth McAlpine
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic
Having read the burglar diaries, I expected this to be similar. In fact it is much better, with a great plot, a big twist at the end and a main character who is totally bonkers. Read more
Published 24 months ago by Jamesy
5.0 out of 5 stars Very funny book
I had not read any of Danny King's books before this one, and I'm glad that I have now! Good price for the Kindle version. Read more
Published on 1 Mar. 2013 by Smee
5.0 out of 5 stars Hit man "Hits the Spot".
I can only add what the other reviews have said, its a laugh out loud cracking read, with twists and tales as Ian the East End Hit Man explains in detail how he does the job... Read more
Published on 25 Jan. 2013 by Gordon Bennett
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