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The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do" Paperback – 6 May 2004

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Product details

  • Paperback: 176 pages
  • Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd (6 May 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0141016655
  • ISBN-13: 978-0141016658
  • Product Dimensions: 13 x 1.3 x 17.9 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 263,817 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

From the Author

Loving someone and loving your life together are different.
Loving someone and loving your life together are different.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Susan Piver is the author of New York Times bestseller The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say 'I Do'. She is also the owner of Padma Media, which specialises in creating book packages which translate spiritual ideas ito practices anyone can do. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Psyche Out on 2 Feb. 2009
Format: Paperback
I bought this for a friend who is getting married late in life but ended up keeping it myself - it was too well-thumbed to give away. It's a well-arranged list of (what should be obvious) questions that you need to ask your partner - and more importantly, yourself - before you tie the knot. From religion and holidays to furnishing styles, there are dozens of minefields that can cause marital strife, and even though you may not know what you'll feel about some things ten or twenty years down the line, it's worth remembering that there are areas where you may need to delve to get your partner's honest take on the matter.

This book doesn't qualify as rocket science but it's an organised way of identifying what - if anything - needs to be aired before you say I do. I shall hang onto it, just in case....
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Format: Paperback
I bought this book because me and my boyfriend are hoping to live together soon, which eventually presumably means we'll get married, and I would rather get a heads up as to potential scenarios I may have to deal with in the future!

The book is broken down into different sections: Home, Money, Work, Sex, Health & Food, Family, Children, Community & friends and spiritual life.

And it does cover some very valid questions. I actually ended up discovering that a lot of the questions in there we had already talked about, however, I also discovered that I just wasn't able to answer a lot of the questions yet because it's just not relevant for me/ our life at the moment. It's often questions that you will discover as you end up living together. I don't think you truly know what someone is like until you live with them! So I think I bought this book a little too early for my needs! But it did work in reassuring me!

The book is laid out where underneath each question there is a space to write My Answer, Other Half answer, Our answer, which I guess could be good for some people. But I think it's a waste of paper!

I also think the sex section is a little bit old fashioned/ religious without actually saying it as it clearly is aimed at people who are virgins before they get married!

I do think the book is a keeper though, as it covers all aspects of life (and death!) and so when you and your partner are coming up to the next hurdle after marriage, like moving house, or having a baby, then you can whip out the book and use it as a starting point to cover some potentially tricky subjects.
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By gire on 30 Dec. 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
as always Susan Piver comes up up trumps, with the answers to the problems that you thought, only you had.A very enlightening read cannot recommend it enough as with all her books.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 101 reviews
261 of 273 people found the following review helpful
Great questions that lead to very deep conversations 5 Jun. 2000
By A Customer - Published on
Format: Paperback
Although I'm already very happily married, my wife and I have found this book to be incredibly stimulating. She bought a copy on impulse for a friend who's getting married, but after skimming through it, we ended up keeping a copy for ourselves and buying another for our friend. We haven't finished it yet (not by a long shot), but we have found the process of answering the questions very insightful and provocative. We have discovered things about each other that might have taken years to find out. We have had some incredibly deep and interesting (and sometimes quite difficult) conversations that have lead us to whole new levels of understanding about each other. I'm generally not a big "self help" guy, and I was definitely skeptical when she started reading the questions to me, but it really has been a fun and helpful (albeit also a little scary sometimes) process. I recommend this book highly and not just for people who are contemplating getting married. I think it's an excellent book for any two people who are involved in a committed relationship and who want to understand each other better and perhaps take their relationship to a deeper, more meaningful level.
81 of 87 people found the following review helpful
Good for non-evangelicals 30 Aug. 2002
By V. Brader - Published on
Format: Paperback
Many of the pre-marriage books I was looking at were written from an evangelical Christian point of view, which is certainly valuable but not what I was looking for exclusively. This book is a wonderful resource for non-evangelicals who are still looking for serious marriage preparation. It did a concise job of presenting the big issues; none are surprising, but it's a good collection of the major areas you should be addressing. It won't help you work out the little details, but helps make sure you answer the big questions that could jeopardize your relationship.
41 of 45 people found the following review helpful
Useful 3 Aug. 2005
By Just Me - Published on
Format: Paperback
So far, my boyfriend and I have only covered the first two chapters. Some of the questions seem obvious, but it still feels like a good idea to talk about them- just to make sure we're on the same page.

Some of the questions are difficult to answer. How much we will need to earn depends on if we ever find an affordable house, and how much it costs, and when we ever find reasonable jobs. Some, like "How much money do we have in our checking account right now?" seem pointless.

Other questions, however, are poignant. "Will we have a joint or separate checking accounts? Who is responsible for mowing the lawn?" The first is something that would definitely come up at some point, the second we probably wouldn't think to ask until we were actually buying a house. They're good things to discuss in advance, though, so there are no surprises and you truly get to know your partner.

Some people will be offended by this book or find it pointless. Others will find it a simple reassurance that they're well prepared for the trip down the aisle because they've already discussed everything.

While the author rambles too much and I find her slightly annoying, I enjoy most of the questions themselves. I like that it's reinforcing communication with my boyfriend- I sort of look forward to tonight, sitting down together and sharing the intimacy of going over the questions- even though we haven't encountered anything revolutionary to our relationship yet. And I do like her clarity to understand that, "We fall in love and decide to live the rest of our lives together without realizing that loving each other and loving our life together are different." That right there is something a lot of people seem to ignore.
60 of 68 people found the following review helpful
Surprising Results! 19 Dec. 2002
By A Customer - Published on
Format: Paperback
I ordered this book based on seeing Susan Piver on "Oprah". Although I didn't question my love, communication with my husband needed some "work", so I thought this book could be helpful. I was extraordinarily surprised by the results. My first surprise was that my husband was so willing and eager to participate in this. My second surprise was some of the answers and information we exchanged. Some of the simpler questions that I thought would be one word answers, led to deep discussions. There is no question but that this book has been extremely helpful to us. Even without the book to guide us, we now find the exchange of honest and open conversation much easier. "The Hard Questions" is a good book!!!
29 of 31 people found the following review helpful
a great thought provoking book 14 Feb. 2003
By A Customer - Published on
Format: Paperback
I'm getting married in about a year and a half and thought that this would be a great book to read with my future husband. i found that it took us half an hour or more to answer some of the questions--the questions promoted conversation which led us to other issues not even mentioned in the book. We also felt that we knew each other a little better afterward. It was worth the time and money. This is something that i would definitely buy for my friends when they get married.
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