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The Guide for Separated Parents: Putting Children First Paperback – 3 Sep 2009


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Product details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Piatkus (3 Sept. 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 074994000X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0749940003
  • Product Dimensions: 12.7 x 1.8 x 20.3 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 84,393 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Product Description

Review

...quite simply, the best book on separation that we have ever read. Both the authors work at the Centre for Separated Families and have a wealth of experience with this client group. In this clever book - and its associated 'Parenting Plan s' booklet - they guide both mothers and fathers (they have a real understanding of the needs and experiences of both sexes) through the emotional and practical journey of separation and its aftermath. Their explicit aim is to help parents 'put their children first', but the authors know this cannot be achieved until both father and mother can manage and understand their own feelings. Sensitive, practical, beautifully written, we believe this book should be REQUIRED READING for all professionals working in this field; and should always be offered to separating and separated mothers and fathers (Fatherhood Institute)

The book is clearly set out and the chapters logically and thoroughly explore all the issues that might arise before reaching a conclusion with sound advice on each topic (Parenting Without Tears)

When the authors of a book have been through the scenario and actually run a centre for Separated Families, you know you can trust the content and benefit from the knowledge shared. With family separations being part of today's society, it is important that the children's lives are affected only in a positive way and this can be achieved. It does, however, take a lot of hard work and this is where the book becomes an invaluable tool in the whole process. There could be a tendency to preach but the book focuses on the positive aspects of working together and show light at the end of what can seem a very long tunnel. If you are in this situation, it is great to read this book and know that a happy medium can be reached (From Bump to Grump)

Book Description

Skills and advice for building co-operative arrangements for sharing care of children

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Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

36 of 36 people found the following review helpful By Sue Pollock on 25 Aug. 2007
Format: Paperback
I have just finished reading this book and wish I had been able to read it two years ago when I was going through a nasty divorce. My children suffered horribly all through the process because I was an emotional wreck and was obsessed with getting my own back on their dad. Two years on and I can look back and see what I did wrong - if I had had this book then I would have known that what I was feeling was normal but that I didn't need to react as I did. Their dad was to blame for the end of our relationship not them and he did want to keep seeing them and spending time with them but I couldn't let them as I was so angry. Now they see him rarely and I know that they miss him. If you are going through divorce, read this and get your ex to read it. Children don't deserve to be caught up in their parents mess.
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19 of 19 people found the following review helpful By Michael Hunter on 28 July 2007
Format: Paperback
I have just split up from my partner and she has got my two daughters living with her. We have argued and argued. This book has helped me to negotiate with her and I now see my girls more often and they are happier. I was gutted when my relationship split up but the book also has lots of advice for dealing with that. The book is written in a clear, direct way that is easy to follow.It explains things from a child's point of view and shows you ways to improve communication. I recommend it!
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Duncan Fisher on 21 April 2010
Format: Paperback
I work professionally with families and children. This is, in my opinion, the best book for separating parents that is on the market. It focuses absolutely on the needs of the children and it REALLY understands both the positions of mothers and fathers, which are quite different.
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22 of 24 people found the following review helpful By Toni P on 8 Jan. 2008
Format: Paperback
I am forty seven and recently got divorced from my wife of 23 years by mutual consent. We were really worried about how this would affect our kids so we bought as many books as possible on the subject and read them from cover to cover. I am relieved to find that what we thought we were doing right was actually right! We always wanted to provide the kids with a new way of life that included both of us and our kids go from my home to thier mom's and back several times a week to suit themselves. We live close by so its easy for them to do that but I thought they might think we were weird or wonder why we split up in the first place it was so easy. This book made me realise that we are very lucky in being able to still respect each other and our children and that so many other people don't get to this place very easily. Putting Children First gave me lots of new ideas too, for things to do with the kids and for ways of working out what to do in the future if one of us meets another person, which is bound to happen sooner or later. Anyway just wanted to say that not everyone finds it impossible but even those who find it easy need reassurance that they are getting it right and this book does just that in a very straightforward way. Its got something for everyone and I recommend it highly.
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful By Angela Duncan on 26 July 2007
Format: Paperback
Easy to read, deals with all of the difficult bits about bringing up kids after divorce. Gives straightforward advice and ideas to sort out the things that cause hassle between parents. Particularly liked the bits about surviving after breaking up and the bits about what kids feel and what to do about it. Great book.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Jim Harris on 1 Jan. 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I work with a lot of separated or separating parents. We have to acknowledge that the vast majority of parents want to protect their children from the effects of divorce but find the advice of well meaning emotive friends confusing and the demands of the legal system and financial considerations damaging. This book enables parents to priortise the needs of their children and consider their own health and well being during extremely stressful times.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Holly on 9 Jun. 2012
Format: Paperback
An excellent support for all parents, not just separated ones. Even in the most amicable of situations this highlights the need for parents, grandparents and all other extended family members to remember that children are innocent and will always love both parents regardless of personality or actions. Also good tips on how to keep communicating even in the most painful of situations.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By pamelah on 21 Oct. 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I found this book really helpful and not just with the children in mind, it also helped with emotions/feeling the parents go through. At first I skimmed the book all the way through and know that I will refer to it again and again when specific issues arise.
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