My name is "Laurie" Murphy. I am one of the golf buddies acknowledged in the back of the book by co-author Russell Friedman. On Tuesday, a couple of weeks ago Russell gave me a signed copy of the book as a gift. While I was thrilled to receive it, I had no urgent need to read it, not having experienced any major losses in the past several years. On Tuesday night, out of a sense of courtesy to Russell, I sat down to "scan" it, so I could at least tell him that I had looked at it. I am normally a person who reads full length books in a couple of hours, as I tend to scan-read. Imagine my surprize, when I found myself reading every single word. And, even though I had no recent losses, I could not put the book down. I noticed almost immediately that the book was comfortable to read, that is, I didn't feel "talked down to." Later, as the book started giving examples and instructions, I found myself participating in the exercises, if not unwillingly, at least unwittingly. The book had gently induced me to participate in a process of discovery. I found myself thinking about events and people that I hadn't thought about in many years. I am now going to do as the book suggests, and not rest on just reading; I am going to take the actions outlined in the book. The other major awareness I had was about many of the things I have said to grieving people that may not have been helpful to them, even though my intentions were honorable. At the same time, I remembered how many times I had not appreciated some of the comments made to me following my own loss experiences. I found the information in the book to be very illuminating, and I already feel more comfortable, knowing that I am a little better prepared when I talk to someone who has just experienced a loss of any kind. To sum it up; I was reading the book out of a sense of obligation to a friend, and wound up reading it for myself. I found it eye-opening and heart-opening in the most positive sense. I have no dou! bt that anyone who has recently experienced a loss will benefit from the book and actions it will help them take. LM 6-24-98.