- Paperback: 368 pages
- Publisher: Grand Central Publishing; Reprint edition (1 Oct 1996)
- Language English
- ISBN-10: 0446672483
- ISBN-13: 978-0446672481
- Product Dimensions: 13.3 x 2.5 x 20.3 cm
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 791,480 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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ON A RAW SPRING MORNING in 1991, I shared my earliest thoughts about this book with a group of some one hundred professional women - all friends and colleagues - who meet each month to discuss our works in progress. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
ON A RAW SPRING MORNING in 1991, I shared my earliest thoughts about this book with a group of some one hundred professional women - all friends and colleagues - who meet each month to discuss our works in progress. Read the first page
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Amazon.com:
28 reviews
30 of 30 people found the following review helpful
Wonderful
30 Oct 2000
Format:Paperback
I think the best thing I got out of this book was the notion that happy marriages are not the exclusive domain of people who had happy, carefree childhoods. Wallerstein's message that the love two people experience in a marriage can be a healing, transforming love was a very hopeful message for those who come from broken and/or abusive homes. I also thought the characteristics of a happy marriage were nicely elucidated by the stories of the real-life couples, their good times, trials and tribulations.
32 of 34 people found the following review helpful
We could surely use more studies like this one
20 Nov 2003
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
The authors bring a rather unusual perspective to the study of marriage -- rather than examining how it has failed or is failing, they examine how marriage can succeed. The book provides a commendable example of a study focusing on success instead of failure. The authors first define a successful marriage, then discuss nine principles common to any good marriage and use several couples as case studies to illustrate and personalize these principles. The book uses a rather small, homogenous, and politically incorrect sample -- nearly all couples were selected by the authors and were lily-white, heterosexual, reasonably honest and cheerful Americans. Of course, many ground-breaking and valid scientific studies have successfully used such small, homogenous and politically incorrect cohorts. The book is not a cross-cultural study, an historical analysis, or a "how-to" guide for "making marriage work," and those whose marriages are in trouble may not find this book much of a substitute for self-analysis or competent counseling.
Since history began, in nearly all societies, marriage has successfully survived despite never-ending pressures from those who have sought to abolish, revolutionize, over-idealize, or trivialize it. Marriage has proven flexible, durable, and critically important to individuals and to societies. Nevertheless, individuals and societies should frequently re-examine and re-explore marriage if they are to gain the most benefits from it -- marriage and success are verbs as well as nouns. Marriage and the family certainly need attentive examination today, since they remain under tremendous stresses from those who wish to change (or destroy) them and from forces causing them to fail at an increasing rate.
The authors have given us a fine example of such an examination. They write remarkably well (no surprise, given Ms Blakeslee's wonderful columns in the NY Times Science Section, which first drew me to this book). They relate how marriage can be enriching, empowering, dynamic, transformative, redemptive, and positive (I found myself cheering on one of the subjects whose marriage succeeded despite enormous psychological problems dating from his childhood). As the husband of a wife whose parents had a successful marriage, as the child of a successful marriage, and as a member of a thirty-three year old successful marriage, I found the principles outlined in this book to be reasonably accurate and helpful. No book could be the last word, but this one is a fine place to start.
24 of 25 people found the following review helpful
A readable study of what makes a marriage "good".
30 Jan 1997
Format:Paperback
The authors of "The Good Marriage" have broken new ground.
Instead of offering criteria on how to identify a bad
marriage, Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee have
discovered through their pilot study the secrets of a good
marriage.
In this very well written book, the authors conclude there
are four types of marriages and nine tasks that must be
completed in order to have a good marriage. The reader is
allowed inside the couple's marriages as the authors
interview Matt and Sara, Helen and Keith, Fred and Marie
and others.
I began reading this book with much skeptiscm. I was
convinced these couples were deluding themselves - no
marriage can be truly good for any extended period of time.
But I was wrong, although each couple admitted bad times
in their marriages there remained enough romance to carry
them through.
I recommend this book to any adult who really wants to know
how a successful marriage can be a dream-come-true.
Instead of offering criteria on how to identify a bad
marriage, Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee have
discovered through their pilot study the secrets of a good
marriage.
In this very well written book, the authors conclude there
are four types of marriages and nine tasks that must be
completed in order to have a good marriage. The reader is
allowed inside the couple's marriages as the authors
interview Matt and Sara, Helen and Keith, Fred and Marie
and others.
I began reading this book with much skeptiscm. I was
convinced these couples were deluding themselves - no
marriage can be truly good for any extended period of time.
But I was wrong, although each couple admitted bad times
in their marriages there remained enough romance to carry
them through.
I recommend this book to any adult who really wants to know
how a successful marriage can be a dream-come-true.
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