- Mass Market Paperback: 432 pages
- Publisher: Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group; Reprint edition (6 July 2007)
- Language English
- ISBN-10: 0440226198
- ISBN-13: 978-0440226192
- Product Dimensions: 10.6 x 3 x 17.5 cm
- Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 163,750 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- See Complete Table of Contents
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Product Description
Product Description
True fear is a gift.
Unwarranted fear is a curse.
Learn how to tell the difference.
A date won't take "no" for an answer. The new nanny gives a mother an uneasy feeling. A stranger in a deserted parking lot offers unsolicited help. The threat of violence surrounds us every day. But we can protect ourselves, by learning to trust—and act on—our gut instincts.
In this empowering book, Gavin de Becker, the man Oprah Winfrey calls the nation's leading expert on violent behavior, shows you how to spot even subtle signs of danger—before it's too late. Shattering the myth that most violent acts are unpredictable, de Becker, whose clients include top Hollywood stars and government agencies, offers specific ways to protect yourself and those you love, including...how to act when approached by a stranger...when you should fear someone close to you...what to do if you are being stalked...how to uncover the source of anonymous threats or phone calls...the biggest mistake you can make with a threatening person...and more. Learn to spot the danger signals others miss. It might just save your life.
Unwarranted fear is a curse.
Learn how to tell the difference.
A date won't take "no" for an answer. The new nanny gives a mother an uneasy feeling. A stranger in a deserted parking lot offers unsolicited help. The threat of violence surrounds us every day. But we can protect ourselves, by learning to trust—and act on—our gut instincts.
In this empowering book, Gavin de Becker, the man Oprah Winfrey calls the nation's leading expert on violent behavior, shows you how to spot even subtle signs of danger—before it's too late. Shattering the myth that most violent acts are unpredictable, de Becker, whose clients include top Hollywood stars and government agencies, offers specific ways to protect yourself and those you love, including...how to act when approached by a stranger...when you should fear someone close to you...what to do if you are being stalked...how to uncover the source of anonymous threats or phone calls...the biggest mistake you can make with a threatening person...and more. Learn to spot the danger signals others miss. It might just save your life.
About the Author
Gavin de Becker is internationally regarded as a leading expert on the prediction and management of violence. In 1985, de Becker received a special award from the US Attorney General and the director of the FBI in recognition of his work in threat assessment. He is also the author of more than forty articles and white papers, co-author of CONFIDENTIAL REPORT TO MANAGEMENT: UNDERSTANDING AND PREVENTING WORKPLACE VIOLENCE and the contributing-author of STALKED.
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He had probably been watching her for a while. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
He had probably been watching her for a while. Read the first page
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
19 of 19 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
Gavin de Becker's book is far more than I expected. Typically self-help books tend to be rather shrill and include a lot of large font type with daft mnemonics; one suspects the material is a bit thin and has been stretched over the available space. But with de Becker he has (as he ruefully admits) a great deal more than he could (or would) ever recount.
The book's central core is to identify the signs that the author claims one intuitively detects and then to act on them rather than to dismiss them. He opens with a very powerful piece (which I have read before) on the signs that a rape-victim dismissed and those which she picked up to avoid becoming a murder victim. He also identifies the approach used by controlling men. This account completely changed how I would offer help to a woman. This is not just a limited topic however; the identified controlling strategies are ones you will all encounter when talking to salesmen, bossy people and bosses. By identifying them you can act to defuse the alpha-male. The author also does a very good feature on saying "No" clearly.
There is much else that is useful in this book, his chapters on stalkers are particularly good. The keys I took away were that de Becker was himself a victim of violence and had used it well, that his advice was not some macho dream but that stalkers are best defeated by lack of contact and that restraining orders may work in the opposite direction. He also points out that what makes these men monsters is actually what makes them the most human; they act predictably if amorally.
Well written and moderate in tone, I got a lot more than I expected when I bought the book.
The book's central core is to identify the signs that the author claims one intuitively detects and then to act on them rather than to dismiss them. He opens with a very powerful piece (which I have read before) on the signs that a rape-victim dismissed and those which she picked up to avoid becoming a murder victim. He also identifies the approach used by controlling men. This account completely changed how I would offer help to a woman. This is not just a limited topic however; the identified controlling strategies are ones you will all encounter when talking to salesmen, bossy people and bosses. By identifying them you can act to defuse the alpha-male. The author also does a very good feature on saying "No" clearly.
There is much else that is useful in this book, his chapters on stalkers are particularly good. The keys I took away were that de Becker was himself a victim of violence and had used it well, that his advice was not some macho dream but that stalkers are best defeated by lack of contact and that restraining orders may work in the opposite direction. He also points out that what makes these men monsters is actually what makes them the most human; they act predictably if amorally.
Well written and moderate in tone, I got a lot more than I expected when I bought the book.
28 of 29 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Never before has a book had such a profound effect on me. The sub-title is slightly mis-leading as the strategies can be used in all aspects of every day life. It teaches you to become more aware of yourself, others and your surroundings. I bought 5 copies for my friends and they all raved about it. One friend passed it onto her brother who'd come out of a car accident with severe disabilities. It gave him the courage to take charge of his life again. Read this book.
21 of 22 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I first came accross this book whilst in holiday in the states many years ago, I read the opening chapter in the store and bought the book! As a serving Police Officer and a practising Martial Artist and self-defence instructor I found this book to be informative as well as extremely well written. In my work I deal with the victims of Domestic Violence and the author has an excellent understanding of both the abuser and the 'victims' perspectives. Many times I have used the material in this book to help other people and I will continue to do so. I also incorporate the teachings in this volume into my Self-defence classes increasing their effectivenss ans making people safer by turning on thier inherent awareness. I cannot praise the author enough for writing this book. If you deal with people in your work then read this book! It changes lives and it could change yours.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Great purchase, essential reading.
I bought this book on the recommendation of a trainer friend of mine after studying a self defence course. And what a great recommendation it was. Read more
Published 22 days ago by Miss Emma J. Law
Must read - but somewhat dated
This used to be arguably the number one book in it's field - times have moved on and newer ideas have surfaced which modify some of the precepts of this book - However if you are... Read more
Published 3 months ago by R. Agar-Hutton
Gift of Fear
Using this book to support a detailed document I am currently writing for the judicial services. Although its an American publication and needs some de- ciphering the content is... Read more
Published 3 months ago by RayH
Outside America
An extremely interesting read, even for those of us who don't live in America. While a few details are America-specific, these details only matter in terms of the situation, not... Read more
Published 9 months ago by Cashleigh
Superb self-defence book
An amazing book that helps you understand and recognise the various built in systems we have to protect ourselves from violent situations. Read more
Published 14 months ago by www.selfdefenceblog.com
Great book!
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It is something I have dipped in and out of over the years. I have bought it and given it as presents to quite a few of my friends who have all... Read more
Published 14 months ago by Mrs. B. Lyne
Padded out garbage
I can't believe this book has a near perfect star rating. It's very badly written and quite patronising. The writer thinks he's a lot smarter than he is. Read more
Published 18 months ago by cartel
fantastic
book arrived in 2 days - top condition, fantastic book. highly recommed - thank you!
Published 21 months ago by monica
specificity
I enjoy the concept of really trusting our own instinct. Well written. Mostly of use to any people involved in stalker/ intense people relations.
Published 23 months ago by Mr. C. Mather
This book could save your life
On my bookshelf I have about half a dozen books which to me have changed my life. This is one of them. Read more
Published on 5 Mar 2010 by Justified Text
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