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The Father Factor: How Your Father's Legacy Impacts Your Career [Paperback]

Stephan B. Poulter
3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
RRP: 17.99
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Book Description

20 May 2006 1591024102 978-1591024101
Does your career seem to be stalled or headed down a dead end street? Do you have frequent problems interacting with subordinates, bosses, or fellow employees? Do "gender issues" seem to interfere with your day-to-day work? Do you feel that your efforts go unnoticed by the "higher ups"? Do you secretly want a different career? These and other types of seemingly endless interpersonal work issues, struggles, and challenges in your career can be directly connected to what respected psychologist Stephan B. Poulter calls the "father factor."
The father factor is the conscious understanding, awareness, and appreciation of the critical influence that your father had, still has, or could have in your career development and future potential. Noting that the father-son or father-daughter relationship is one of the least understood relationships in adult life, Dr. Poulter helps you become acutely aware of the immeasurable impact (negative or positive) that your father has on your ability to relate to other people. From this recognition you will also learn to move past the career roadblocks that frequently stem from the lingering effects of your father’s influence.
Defining five main styles of fathering, Dr. Poulter devotes a chapter each to:
The Superachiever Father
The Time Bomb Father
The Passive Father
The Absent Father (whether physically or emotionally)
The Compassionate / Mentor Father.
By becoming aware of how your father related to you, particularly in a destructive relationship, you’ll understand how your career relationships in many ways mirror your degree of comfort with your father’s emotional legacy. In this way, career roadblocks—often based on interactions with people on the job—will be more easily transformed into career building blocks that will lead to advancement and success.

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The Father Factor: How Your Father's Legacy Impacts Your Career + The Mother Factor: How Your Mother's Emotional Legacy Impacts Your Life
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Product details

  • Paperback: 239 pages
  • Publisher: Prometheus Books (20 May 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1591024102
  • ISBN-13: 978-1591024101
  • Product Dimensions: 1.3 x 15.2 x 22.5 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,072,355 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Spot on 15 Feb 2007
During marriage guidance counselling which forced me to face the void inside me, a light bulb came on ... that the intense desire for male intimacy that I experienced was not because I was at home with children and trapped in a metaphorical burka by society's rules but that I was yearning for a relationship with my father. I don't have one (relationship, not father). This book was one of several I bought when I discovered that "Father Hunger" is a well documented psychological phenomenon. I have found this book quite wonderful. It pulls no punches. It is well written, easy to read, comprehensive and thoroughly enlightening. I feel an enormous sense of relief, just recognising the problem, knowing that other people share it, and being given some tools with which to deal with it. Its relevance stretches beyond those whose careers have hit a brick wall. The problematic styles of fathering identified, the problems they cause in the affected children, and the behaviour the children are likely to manifest as adults, are as relevant to social relationships as they are to work relationships. I am very glad I found this book. Reading it has lowered my anxiety and increased my happiness: I recommend it.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Father factor 12 Jan 2009
By G. Lowe
The Father factor has been a really useful and insightful aid for me to work through some very deep seated issues. The content which classifies fathers and discusses the impact of father type on career and self esteem. The impact on my adult life was quite a profound and disturbing revelation for me, I have had counselling in the past on my relationship with my father and thought I had dealt with it. I am still working through this book in bite sized chunks and would certainly warn anyone to be prepared for the potential emotional crisis which this book can stir up and have a good support group around you and a counsellor on tap just in case it has the same effect on you as on me. I found it amazingly life changing. I dare not open the Mother Factor until I have dealt with the stuff this one has churned up. This book is not for the faint hearted be prepared to take the journey once you have started.
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1.0 out of 5 stars not worth the money 1 Oct 2012
By Indruta
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I would not buy it again, haven't even had a wish to finish reading it. From the start to the end you try to find something good, any techniques and a bit of knowledge.... I am pretty sure there are much better books on the same topic on the market, just reading some psychology introduction books you could get more out of it. If you really are interested in psychology and techniques do not buy this book
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 4.1 out of 5 stars  16 reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Daddy Dearest 3 July 2006
By Lola Jovita - Published on
This is a WOW of a book. Fathers are the stereotypical breadwinners in the household. How are father's careers evolve infuence how ours do as well. We become our parents patterns if we are not careful. For women, this is especially poignant, and for those of us whose fathers demanded results-oriented performance .... looking back ... it really was a blessing in disguise. Kudos to all the men who pushed their daughters to succeed and fobade them to date in childhood.

This is further evidence that the phrase "the apple does not fall far from the tree" has truth to it. Although we can't blame our parents forever, being in denial is equally disempowering. By the time we are five years old a good 90% of our personalities are formed based on our observations of mom and dad, our genetic tendencies of temperament, and imprinted memories of childhood already experienced thus far. People are a product of their DNA and upbringing. While our DNA is beyond our control, the negative behavior patterns of our primary caregivers and their impact on us as adults is something we can address. Fathers teach children how to operate in the world of work, handle authority, and problem solve while managing emotions. If we are imprinted by a paternal role model that does not serve our career interests then we have the choice as adults to "overwrite" the program. It doesn't happen overnight but recovering from the effects will happen once the problem is isolated and then addressed properly. One key factor is to not do this alone. Friends are great but this kind of emotional disconnection requires professional assistance. One program that has been known to accomplish this is The Hoffman Process which calls such experiences of parental imprinting and modeling "the Negative Love Syndrome". And the way to disconnect does lie in empathy and forgiveness AFTER healing through the pain of a negative pattern legacy in the first place.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars father factor review 20 Feb 2007
By Thera - Published on
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This is a very intense book requiring a lot of self honesty and much self reflection. However, I highly recommend it for any man or woman who experiences a lot of anger and frustration related to career and "father" issues that they just can't resolve.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A father is key to understanding choices and roadblocks in a career 9 Sep 2006
By Midwest Book Review - Published on
The Father Factor: How Your Father's Legacy Impacts Your Career comes from a psychologist who maintains the influence of a father is key to understanding choices and roadblocks in a career. Both positive and negative impacts are surveyed, from a passive or absent father's influence to understanding how destructive messages translate into workforce action or inaction. The 'what you can do about it' section is critical for change and a successful career approach.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Shameless attempt at making money under guise of psychology 25 Nov 2012
By Matthew Jenkins - Published on
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Don't waste your money on this book. It may, indeed, have some insights in it somewhere, but I didn't find any before getting bored of wading through the shameless padding interspersed with comments linking whatever platitude he'd just trotted out with your career. I got the feeling that this book is simply an attempt at making money by ticking boxes: will the reader read all the way through in the hope of improving his income? Does it lay the blame on somebody apart from the reader?

It reminded me of undergraduate essays written by students who would attempt to meet word-counts by setting themselves minimums on each element of their work, irrespective of the element's importance.

Last point: if it's really written by a psychologist, shouldn't there be, well, references to peer-reviewed studies? This appears to be a collection of waffle that somebody thought up on their own.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Good; only one reservation 10 Mar 2012
By Learning New Ways - Published on
I agree with other reviewers that this is a very good book. Anyone over the age of 35-40 will likely find it very helpful.

My only reservation is that with people younger than that, they may have grown up in less sexist homes and in a less sexist culture and some of the archetype fathers he identifies may not be such a good fit. This is a good thing, though. Books like this are really helping us all move on from bad daddery.

Something like 49% of married couples with minor children in the US now share child care equally (according to sociologist Stephanie Coontz). And women are between 45-55% of the workforce. So sexist homes are rapidly becoming a thing of the past, even if we are still ridding our individual and collective subconsciouses (or the culture) of residual toxicity like the issues this book addresses so well.
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