If you have a child who seems to know the right buttons to press to make you cross. A child who seems inflexible in their thinking, easily frustrated and prone to explosive incidents (tantrums). Read on!
I started reading The Explosive Child book about six weeks ago, during the school summer holiday. My youngest daughter is five, and was frequently testing the patience of everyone around her. Exploding over seemingly trivial incidents, often daily.
Ross Greene explains in the opening chapters that the child does not deliberately set out to cause angry scenes, they just cannot help being inflexible. Before I accepted this statement, I felt sure my daughter said things just to annoy me. It took me a day or two to accept this statement.
Then I was ready for the next stage, observing my child and watching out for the warning signs of a pending explosive situation. Now I had "let go" of the idea that she was winding me up on purpose, I was calm and able to identify the main triggers for an explosion. Also I discovered that I could calm her down and avoid a conflict from occuring. Fantastic! Whoopee!!!
I am only half way through the book, (chapters 8 to 14 still to read) having read and digested Ross Greene's views, advice and manangement techniques thus far. I am pleased to say this book has transformed her life, I really enjoy my time with her as she is so much calmer, without me getting angry in response to her inflexibility. So what if she stays in the bath playing 10 minutes longer that I would previously have liked? She goes to bed calm and happy (and I'm calm too!!!!)
I have shared my understanding and the techniques with the rest of the family, and her school. Now we all have a consistent approach towards her, can spot potential triggers and act accordingly. I was sceptical that his approach would work as it seems so radically different from other positive parenting methods.