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The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children [Kindle Edition]

Ross W. Greene PhD
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (54 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Screaming, swearing, crying, hitting, kicking, spitting, biting...these are some of the challenging behaviors we see in kids who are having difficulty meeting our expectations. These behaviors often leave parents feeling frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, and desperate for answers. In this fully revised and updated book, Dr. Ross Greene helps you understand why and when your child does these things and how to respond in ways that are nonpunitive, nonadversarial, humane, and effective.

Dr. Greene describes how best to:

  • Understand the factors that contribute to challenging episodes.
  • Identify the specific situations in which challenging episodes are likely to occur.
  • Reduce or eliminate challenging episodes by solving the problems that cause them.
  • Solve problems collaboratively (rather than unilaterally) and proactively (rather than reactively).
  • Help your child develop the skills to be more flexible, solve problems, and handle frustration more adaptively.
  • Reduce hostility and antagonism between you and your child.

With Dr. Greene's practical, expert guidance, you and your child will forge a new relationship based on communication and mutual respect.

Product Description


"All parents should read this book, especially those with children who are out of control. Ross Greene presents a loving, rational, and research-based approach to dealing with problems that most parents have either felt were their own fault or were unsolvable. I could not recommend this book more highly."-- Edward Hallowell, M.D.


An experienced therapist offers groundbreaking--and compassionate--techniques for helping "chronically inflexible" children, who suffer from excessively immoderate tempers, showing how brain-based deficits contribute to these problems and offering positive and constructive ways to calm things down. Original. 40,000 first printing.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 667 KB
  • Print Length: 307 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0062270451
  • Publisher: Harper Paperbacks; 5 Rev Upd edition (20 May 2014)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00GLS4XT4
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (54 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #56,722 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
37 of 39 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Buy it Now! 2 Feb. 2009
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
After many years of terrible guilt and extreme difficulties with a our six year old son, things are on the mend after reading this book. Not many child psychologist or psychiatrists seem to know how to handle a child that suffers from violent rages that can harm both himself and his family and siblings. As Dr. Ross W. Green points out, these violent outbursts are often seen as a result of "not enough dicipline" or balamed by others on bad parenting. We have two older children that were really much easier to handle, so we were lucky that we had examples of children who were well behaved who had already been brought up in our home. However for several years we were unable to make any real progress until we read this book. The great gift of this book is to make you realise that it is not his fault nor yours as a parent that he or she is the way they are. It allowed me to love and be gentle with my son again even when he is having his(now rather infrequent)rages. It gives you practical advice on how to cope and improve things. The difference in our lives and in our home has been quite dramatic. Go and buy this book now, it would be money well spent even if it cost ten times the price! And I would also like to thank Dr.Green for giving families like mine new hope, and a bettter life.
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43 of 46 people found the following review helpful
If you have a child who seems to know the right buttons to press to make you cross. A child who seems inflexible in their thinking, easily frustrated and prone to explosive incidents (tantrums). Read on!

I started reading The Explosive Child book about six weeks ago, during the school summer holiday. My youngest daughter is five, and was frequently testing the patience of everyone around her. Exploding over seemingly trivial incidents, often daily.

Ross Greene explains in the opening chapters that the child does not deliberately set out to cause angry scenes, they just cannot help being inflexible. Before I accepted this statement, I felt sure my daughter said things just to annoy me. It took me a day or two to accept this statement.

Then I was ready for the next stage, observing my child and watching out for the warning signs of a pending explosive situation. Now I had "let go" of the idea that she was winding me up on purpose, I was calm and able to identify the main triggers for an explosion. Also I discovered that I could calm her down and avoid a conflict from occuring. Fantastic! Whoopee!!!

I am only half way through the book, (chapters 8 to 14 still to read) having read and digested Ross Greene's views, advice and manangement techniques thus far. I am pleased to say this book has transformed her life, I really enjoy my time with her as she is so much calmer, without me getting angry in response to her inflexibility. So what if she stays in the bath playing 10 minutes longer that I would previously have liked? She goes to bed calm and happy (and I'm calm too!!!!)

I have shared my understanding and the techniques with the rest of the family, and her school. Now we all have a consistent approach towards her, can spot potential triggers and act accordingly. I was sceptical that his approach would work as it seems so radically different from other positive parenting methods.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Like a previous reviewer, I started to put this into practice before I'd read even half the book - you learn all the main ideas within the first half of the book, with the rest just taken up with exceptions/examples/advice. And it worked! - pretty much immediately. I have read dozens (hundreds?) of parenting books over the years, and this is one of my top 3 (up there with How to Talk so Kids Will Listen... and The No-Cry Sleep Solution). IT REALLY DOES WORK!!!

Unlike so many parenting books, which are very counter-intuitive and complex, and therefore hard to put into practice, even if they would work (dubious), this book is great because it is nothing more than common sense writ large. It expresses the kind of common sense that most parents already possess and how they set out to parent - but as life gets on top of them, they're busy, in a hurry, tired, kids are misbehaving, they forget.

Unlike many parenting books, which either blame the child for being naughty and tell the parent how to rule the roost according to their will (eg 1-2-3 Magic), or those which blame for the parents for being too bossy/uncaring (eg Unconditional Parenting), this book is a blessed relief because it doesn't blame anyone. It starts by making clear that - contrary to how parents often feel when their children are acting up - the children are NOT doing it deliberately. This in some ways is one of the most helpful bits of the book because once you, as a parent, stop feeling your child is deliberately trying to wind you up, it allows you to regain your calm and see them as a child who needs help rather than punishment. It then sets out the (very simple and obvious) steps to discover their concerns and yours, and resolve them satisfactorily, in a win-win fashion.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A brilliant, common sense guide at last! 2 Aug. 2013
By rae
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This book is so straight forward and simple to understand and follow. There is no psycho-babble to confuse the real issues. There were many light bulb moments where I thought "this is just common sense so why didn't I try this before?" This book is not a quick fix, it takes commitment and consistency but it really does work. Also it explains things from the child's, parent's and teacher's perspective, this helps to stop that non productive blame game. I have used the suggestions and found that as long as I followed the steps properly it worked with my explosive child and some long standing explosive issues have been defused and sorted to the relief of both parties. I cannot recommend this book highly enough and have already done so to others who have found it has helped them too.
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