- Paperback: 400 pages
- Publisher: Harper Perennial; Reprint edition (Sep 1996)
- Language English
- ISBN-10: 0060984287
- ISBN-13: 978-0060984281
- Product Dimensions: 20.6 x 13.5 x 2.3 cm
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Amazon Bestsellers Rank:
502,010 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #41 in Books > Health, Family & Lifestyle > Men's Health & Lifestyle > Sex > Psychology
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First Sentence
One of the most effective and enjoyable ways to unlock the mysteries of the eros is to reminisce about your most compelling turn-ons. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
One of the most effective and enjoyable ways to unlock the mysteries of the eros is to reminisce about your most compelling turn-ons. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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23 reviews
123 of 125 people found the following review helpful
Positive Review by a Psychologist
2 Jan 2002
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
In order to be licensed to practice clinical psychology in California, it is necessary to take a seminar on human sexuality. That's how I first heard about this book. The organizer believed that this is the foremost text on human sexuality and sex therapy, and now I can see why...
This is powerful, valuable stuff. Here's what makes it good:
1. I believe that Morin's landmark contribution is his "paradoxical perspective on eroticism." It challenges a variety of widely-accepted theories about attraction and great sex. As Morin states, "this new paradigm acknowledges and embraces the contradictory, dual-edged nature of erotic life. It recognizes that anything that inhibits arousal-including anxiety or guilt-can, under different circumstances, amplify it." The paradoxical view is at the heart of what makes this book special. It isn't just some scholarly, cerebral view, but rather a theory with profound experiential/practical significance. For instance, as one more fully experiences the profoundest subjective erotic rewards, one also experiences more strongly the tension between passion and fulfillment.
2. The book unearths readers' own sexual desires and sexual behaviors (or "Core Erotic Themes"), using unique self-assessment tools. Lots of people (including me) feel that this book really helps them see for the first time their sexual essence, which underlies their perplexing historical feelings and behaviors. Somehow, the revelations are more relieving than shocking. As you get to the bottom of what really turns you on within Morin's system, the world may look different! Of course, there's also great value in determining what makes your partner (or potential partner) click.
3. The book provides concrete tools for understanding and achieving peak eroticism ("emotional aphrodisiacs"). These include ways to increase sexual and orgasmic intensity, reduce inhibitions, improve validation received and given, and transcend personal boundaries. Additionally, it provides ways to address "troublesome turn-ons" which lead to destructive, repetitive behaviors.
4.Morin clarifies how to intensify desire and arousal in oneself and others. Much of the work is paradoxical, and explores eroticism in ways not available elsewhere. Moreover, it provides ways to evaluate sexual well-being from the "paradoxical" perspective ("signposts to erotic health")
5. It provides plenty revealing stories of peak sexual experiences. These stories improve understanding, but more importantly detoxify stigma, anxiety, guilt, anger and avoidance. Most people will find their doppelgangers here...
6. The author is a well established sex therapist, researcher, and psychotherapist.
If I have any criticism, it is that the book becomes repetetive in places. So what?
56 of 57 people found the following review helpful
A must read for anyone across the board
29 Dec 1999
Format:Paperback
I bought this book because of some issues that I wanted to understand and resolve in my relationship (mostly waning desire.) This is the first book that I've read that doesn't just give some corny advice on behavior change (spend more time together, touch eachother more, etc.) This book really gets at the heart of where our desires come from, how we are influenced by our early erotic thoughts and how this knowledge can help us overcome troublesome issues. The other wonderful thing this book did for me was explain how waning desire is normal and may not signal the end of your relationship. The self assessment tool was also very helpful, as was the non-judgmental analysis of the erotic fantasies of those who were surveyed for the book. It is not smutty and not too clinical in it's approach, just very practical. This is the first book that I feel my spouse will actually read and derive some benefit from. I am recommending it to everyone I know that wants to get in better touch with their sexuality or just improve their relationships in general.
29 of 29 people found the following review helpful
Transformational
13 April 2000
Format:Paperback
Reading book has been one of the most self-revealing andinsighful expereinces I've ever had with sexual psychology. Why doesWHAT turn us on, indeed TURN us On, over and over again? Is it changeable, and do we have any control over that? This is not a bunch of silly platitudes and self-help garbage you would read in a women's magazine--it's revolutionary, and even though some things were hard for me to admit, Morin is so compassionate and thoughtful, that you really feel like you have the tools and the ability to look at your sexuality with the same generousity, curiousity, and accpetance that he does.
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