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The Emotionally Absent Mother: A Guide to Self-Healing and Getting the Love You Missed Paperback – 7 Sep 2010


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The Emotionally Absent Mother: A Guide to Self-Healing and Getting the Love You Missed + Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers + When You and Your Mother Can't be Friends
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Product details

  • Paperback: 227 pages
  • Publisher: Experiment (7 Sep 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1615190287
  • ISBN-13: 978-1615190287
  • Product Dimensions: 14 x 1.7 x 20.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 13,798 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

84 of 89 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on 15 Aug 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I am currently reading this book and felt the need to write a review as it's wonderful. We are often told that "they are no manuals for parents" but I feel this is the closest to a "manual" that a mother will get. It should be essential reading for all new mothers.

I ordered the book to help me deal with the impact of an emotionally absent mother. However as I'm now also a mother I have found it really helpful as it highlights the behaviours of a "good mother". It's a very positive book - a great guide for parents who may not have had the emotional support in childhood but want to do better for their children.
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31 of 33 people found the following review helpful By Gilly on 17 May 2013
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I have struggled with this subject for many years and it has been quite a painful healing journey. However, this book takes you through the difficulties faced as a youngster and draws you towards a better understanding of where your mother might have been herself. This does help to at least feel empathy for the situations she didn't handle so well. The best part about this book is that it nurtures you through the process of coming to terms with what happened and asserts that you can heal yourself gently and move on from being stuck in a judgemental mindset. I'm so glad I bought this book.
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17 of 19 people found the following review helpful By M. N. Wilson on 30 Jun 2013
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I love attachment theory but all too often the theory only gives you one choice of style which can feel like a bad fit. This book was a joy to read looking at the many attachments each of us forms and in particular the attachment with our mothers or those that stood in for our mothers, where the primary attachment figures was emotionally absent.

The style of quitting was accessible and thought provoking. A real eye opener when looking at your own process and also when trying to fit it to your clients needs. I feel I'll hold a great deal of this book within me.

Highly recommended.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By dona on 3 Feb 2014
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I really liked this book. the author brings together views from different authors all in one and explains them in an understandable way. gave me insights into why I do things certain way but also why some of my friends or intimate others react the way they do. you will not hate your mother at the end of the book; you will understand her a lot better and hopefully will help you become a better parent and spouse yourself
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13 of 15 people found the following review helpful By martin keys on 16 Sep 2013
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I choose this rating because I really can't fault this book, I originally book this book to get some healing myself but the biggest bonus I got was that it has made me focus a lot more on how I parent my own children, this book would be an excellent buy for anyone couldn't recommend it more.
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40 of 47 people found the following review helpful By Yvonne on 8 Jun 2012
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After reading volumes of John Bowlby books on Attachment this book anchors both theory and practice into understandable obtainable reading. A gem of a book on attachments and correction of same.
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41 of 49 people found the following review helpful By Sylvia K on 9 Feb 2013
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I never realised that what I was feeling was understood. I researched my feelings on the internet and was introduced to this book. I wasn't sure it was for me but since reading it I realise that there are others in the same state. I feel less guilty and more understood and relieved of the burden of keeping my feelings to myself, cos friends don't want to know when you moan about your mother, esp when she appears to be a little frail old lady that can't harm a fly, they are inevitably 'on her side'. I now feel I am justified.
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30 of 36 people found the following review helpful By Mrs Bradshaw on 3 Jan 2013
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Highly recommend this book. Very insightful...
Easy to read and well written. It turned out to be so accurate for me, that it was quite painful to read and took a long time to get through as i didn't always have the capacity for dealing with such core and emotional issues; but a massively valuable book at the same time.
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