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The Dark Lord's Handbook
 
 

The Dark Lord's Handbook [Kindle Edition]

Paul Dale
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)

Print List Price: £11.99
Kindle Price: £1.86 includes VAT* & free wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet
You Save: £10.13 (84%)
* Unlike print books, digital books are subject to VAT.

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Product Description

Product Description

To become a Dark Lord is no easy thing. The simple ambition to hold dominion over the world and bend all to your will sounds straightforward but it's not. There are armies to raise, fortresses to build, heroes to defeat, battles to be fought, hours of endless soliloquy in front of the mirror – it's a never ending job. Not to mention deciding what to wear. (After hours, days, even weeks of consideration, it will be black.)

After many spectacular failures, Evil decided to lend more than inspiration to these would be tyrants. He wrote an easy to follow Dark Lord's Handbook. And yet the next Dark Lord that came along screwed up like all the others.

It had been hundreds of years, and the Handbook was lost in the annals of time, along with all that was mythic and exciting in the world. Then one day, a randy dragon had a chance encounter. Nine months later a Dark Lord was born.

In time, the Handbook found its way to this new contender, Morden.

To become a Dark Lord is no easy thing. Morden had better be a quick study.

Volume 1 110,000 words

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 511 KB
  • Print Length: 328 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1471089576
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Paul Dale; 3 edition (2 Feb 2012)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00756ZO4Y
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #13,936 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Bad is the new good. 4 Feb 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
I must admit that i was doubtful upon reading this as to whether or not it would be my cup of tea, the title alone was enough to poke my interest. I am not what one would call a big fan of fantasy literature, personally i think Tolkien could have done with slimming his volumes down by a mear 500 pages or so. I am however a big fan of excellent writing and this is excellent writing. The characters take full advantage of being written by a writer who allows them space to come truely alive in a world where the fantasy genre finally makes sense, a surreal edge to modern dilemmas rather than pompous wizards and albinos riding dragons. This is not a parody or a spoof but a loving homage to something i imagine is very close to Mr Dale's heart. It made me laugh out loud and i found it hard to put down and the character of Morden is one that will last; part Holden Caulfield and part Alex from A Clockwork Orange but with literal demonic powers. I feel better for having read it.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A hand book of laughs 22 Feb 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
Paul Dale takes us into a world where the Dark Lord has not even risen yet, not only that, but he still has to learn how to rise... then there is the small matter of what to wear, and whether he should simply pillage, or burn a city. This very funny book brings the angst of becoming a Dark Lord to the fore. Morden is a wholy believable character, and his orcs are wonderfully created.
A most exciting book from a very promising author. More please.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars What each evil villain needs...a handbook 11 Aug 2012
By Cheryl M-M TOP 500 REVIEWER
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
Conceptually it is a superb idea.
I mean it is only natural that Dark Lords, who intend to take over the world with their minions, would need a basic step by step manual to do so.
The author has quite the flair for irony and a witty repertoire. Quite a few times I found myself shaking my hand and grinning.
However I do think it could have so much more.
The story often slips in and out of banal storyline and then whips back into a great comedic dryness. This roller coaster is what made it less than what I think could have been a brilliantly funny and satirical book.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Good fun
A fun story that tells the tale from the bad guy's point of view. It reminded me of Mary Gentle's "Grunts" (an awesome book, if you can find it anywhere), with a fun and... Read more
Published 4 hours ago by Mike H
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent
I really hope after getting to the end that there is a second one! Great book, didnt expect the ending
Published 1 month ago by nikki
4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Satirical Fantasy
Relatively inexperienced with fantasy books I was none the less captivated by Mr. Dale's story and writing style. A generic parody of... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Lex Allen
5.0 out of 5 stars Witty
So refreshing to read about the guy who is not the Hero. Witty. Had me in stitches from beginning to end.
Published 1 month ago by Pen Name
4.0 out of 5 stars humourous and a little tongue in cheek
fun read that entertained, bit of a spoof read which made me think of several fantasy books including tolkein. can recommend
Published 1 month ago by R. Marriott
5.0 out of 5 stars A great read
I was a little bit worried that this might be a dry step by step guide to being a dark lord with a few funny ideas and a lot of padding. Its nothing like it. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Neil
4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting points of view
I did wonder if this might be a kind of Haynes manual for "being evil and conquering the world"... Read more
Published 3 months ago by S. Barrett
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best books I've read
This is a really great book and definitely goes in my top 10. I read a lot of books and rarely find one I can't put down. The story is an original take on a well worn theme. Read more
Published 7 months ago by julesb
4.0 out of 5 stars Humorous Fantasy Romp!
Entertaining tale that turns the stereotypical fantasy genre on its head. Instead of the rise of a hero from an unassuming youth, this is a story of how to become a Dark Lord. Read more
Published 10 months ago by SlothVader
5.0 out of 5 stars Agreed, however...
Though i concur with the glowing reviews I would say that while this is an excellent read the writer could do worse than hire a competent proof reader. 99% superb. Read more
Published 11 months ago by P. Shillam
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