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The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence [Paperback]

Rachel Simmons
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
RRP: £8.85
Price: £8.74 & FREE Delivery in the UK on orders over £10. Details
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The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence + Queen Bees And Wannabes: Helping your daughter survive cliques, gossip, boyfriends & the new realities of Girl World + Bullies, Bigmouths and So-Called Friends: Bullies, Bigmouths and So-called Friends
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Product details

  • Paperback: 278 pages
  • Publisher: Penguin Books; Reprint edition (31 Aug 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 014311798X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0143117988
  • Product Dimensions: 21.7 x 16.5 x 1.7 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 118,145 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Rachel Simmons is an internationally acclaimed author and educator. She is the author of the New York Times bestsellers,Ā "Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls"Ā andĀ "The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence". The co-founder of the Girls Leadership Institute, RachelĀ develops programs for girls, parents and educators that empower girls to be emotionally intelligent, assertive young adults. Rachel was the host of the PBS special "A Girl's Life." She has appeared on "Oprah" and is a regular expert on the "Today" show. For weekly blogs and GirlTips, visitĀ www.rachelsimmons.comĀ and follow her atĀ www.twitter.com/RachelJSimmons

Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars interesting viewpoint 29 Sep 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I am half way through this book now, I had to skip quite a lot of the repetitive examples when the author has put in conversations with her girls. Of course it is very American and some of the language is lightweight BUT have a highlighter to hand as you read through and you will be surprised at the hidden gems inside the fluff. I am 51 now and have slowly realised after 35 years of working that I have made no progression in my life and career because I was totally programmed to be a good girl. I was told it was good manners to let other people be first, I had to give up my seat to the stranger on the bus, let my classmates win at sport, let my sister have first choice in everything and be happy to have her clothes after she had outgrown them. At work I was used to train other people up who then were promoted over me, using my knowledge and guidance. So I'm going to fully recommend this book to anyone like me - and I hope that you too find something in here that will let you move away from being 'user-friendly' for every one else to being 'me-friendly' for your own peace of mind. Good luck everyone........
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5.0 out of 5 stars The best book I've read all year 15 Jun 2014
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I can't believe how on target Rachel Simmons is. I lead a girl scout group in Zurich and will be introducing the concepts of this book to the girls throughout the coming year and recommending all of the parents to buy this book. Building emotional intelligence is crucial to raising great kids. I wish I had known the things in the book when I was a preteen/teen.
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Amazon.com: 4.3 out of 5 stars  23 reviews
23 of 23 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Self Discovery for every woman 5 April 2010
By J Squares - Published on Amazon.com
I have been reading this book for several months. I keep finding new truths that remind me of my personal journey, through self exploration and through life. Most exceptional, is how much of what this author speaks of that can be applied to SO many women- women I know, women I'm related to, women with whom I work, women whose work I've read, women I treat as patients. I feel that most all women of this time and place could find something relatable in this discussion.

The book is an exploration of the complicated messages girls are receiving from society, from their families, from their teachers and from their friends. To be a "good girl", we must honor others' feelings before our own, diminish our grievances to avoid conflicts, avoid confrontation so as not to seem mean spirited, and thus promote dishonesty with each other and with ourselves.
This of course, leads to a suffocating mix of avoidance and frustration in personal relationships, as well as in professional spheres. How many of us have trembled at the idea of saying "That's not right/fair" or "I'm worth more than that" at work? I know I have. Or in relationships, how many of us cry unabashedly at the first sign of a disagreement, thus negating any rationale resolution or productive further discussion?

This author works with girls in leadership workshops that help young women develop their voice and learn ways to communicate that voice more effectively. They learn to develop healthy egos that allow for open communication of their needs/desires/opinions/feelings within all relationships.
What an extraordinary concept! That our families of origin, even those who were nuturing, were also leading us to some pretty toxic behavior. This prevents us from having the confidence and courage to discover who we are and what we want out of life. It does not admonish rule following- instead it offers suggestions for learning to deal with the natural disappointments of life and for finding our own way rather than following only what society proffers.

The practical discussion in the book could most aptly be used by a mother, but I found the discussion to be worthy of self reflection. How many of us, before we raise a girl, need to raise the girl within that may be stagnating in some of these repressive thought patterns?
49 of 55 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Thought-provoking and Fabulous 16 Sep 2009
By Jacqueline Payne - Published on Amazon.com
I intitially picked up this book out of professional interest. As an advocate for women's rights and a student of leadership development, I was interested in learning from Rachel's experience working with young women at the Girl's Leadership Institute. What I didn't expect was the degree of self-reflection this book provoked. How had my lovely, graceful, care-taking mother been raised in the 40s and 50s? What lessons did I learn as a girl about appropriate behavior and having -- much less sharing -- needs? How do I see these trends play out with women in the workplace? How many young women have I coached to know their own value as they negotiated for a raise, promotion, or new job? How will I teach - or not teach - these lessons to my own children? On the last point, the book offers a practical guide for parents (and teachers and coaches and all adults who interact with girls). With Rachel's help -- and the help of all the mothers and daughters who shared their stories in this book so that we might learn from their experience -- we can raise a generation of authentic girls who truly know and like themselves.

Jackie Payne
23 of 25 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Every Woman Should Read this Book 26 Aug 2009
By Nancy Mehegan - Published on Amazon.com
This book is a MUST for any woman to read! A truly intelligent book, without the usual bromides. It is thought provoking and worth reading several times.

Society provides confusing messages to girls. As young children girls they are fed fairy tales that teach complance and modesty. Then they are thrust into the working world as young adults that suddenly demands competence, confidence and assertiveness. It's a bit like the "double-bind" psychologists describe of contradictory messages. In a sense girls are forced to walk around with a big chunk of kryptonite that drains them of all power. (like Superman, remember?)

This books is a MUST for teachers and parents. It's about girls finding their "truth", the true voice , their life guide. This is a VITAL SUBJECT.
11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Abracadabra 27 Aug 2009
By Yvette Esprey - Published on Amazon.com
In her delightfully anticipated new book, The Curse of the Good Girl, Rachel Simmons strikes the precipitous balance between empathizing with the plight of the adolescent Good Girl, whilst simultaneously understanding the challenge of the adults who must navigate the stormy adolescent waters with their daughters. It is clear in her writing that Rachel's gift is in her capacity to truly KNOW the experience of the girls to whom she has dedicated her career, and to make sense of it in a way which allows her to respond with startling accuracy to the challenges facing today's teen. She invites parents and educators to join in her in this knowing, and so to begin to respond sensitively to the responsibility they have as caregivers. This book has the potential to create an inter-generational bridge, providing a framework for communication between adults and adolescents, and in so doing allowing both to explore their authentic selves with courage and confidence. Rachel's style is compellingly personal; in reading this book I felt that she was in conversation with me, speaking both to the adult in me and to the adolescent girl who remains so alive in memory. Her style is wonderfully readable; she writes with poignant humour, intellect and deep insight. The Curse of the Good Girl will be a companion to all adults who live and work with girls. Rachel's reputation as Girl Whisperer is sustained.
66 of 86 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars It was okay, but nothing new 15 Nov 2009
By Yvonne A. Berry - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
I was really excited to get this book,but was soon disappointed by its contents. Not a bad book, but as a minority it really didn't speak to me or any other minority girls or parents. The book does state in the beginning that they interviewed girls from all backgrounds, but the book only mentions one girl and she in a completely different( lower ) economic bracket then her classmates. The book doesn't approach other issues that may effect a girls attitude/outlook like a poor enviroment, lack of finances and/or social factors that DO NOT involve a school atmosphere. I really wanted to like this book yet after completing the book, I felt that my time could have been better spent. I read the entire book waiting for it to get better and unfortunately, it never did.
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