"Congratulations!" You're about to have a kid? Well, Bro, you might be asking yourself a series of important questions: * Will I ever be able to do awesome things again? * Will I be able to afford this? * Can I ever have sex again? * Will I be a good parent? * Am I able to love this child as much as I love my own life? Well, the answer to all of these questions is a rock solid "no." But just because your life is now a petrifying turd on the canvas of life doesn't mean your kid has to be as lame as you're about to become. Which is why Barney has written this book.