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The Burglar Diaries
 
 

The Burglar Diaries [Kindle Edition]

Danny King
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: £1.99 includes VAT* & free wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet
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Product Description

Amazon Review

A house burglar's memoirs might well be pushing the boundaries of public taste and common decency but make no mistake, The Burglar Diaries is truly a work of comic genius. Look beyond the coarse language and outrageous designs on life and you've got a real diamond of a novel just ripe for the taking.

Danny King writes like a foul-mouthed jack the lad who also happens to possess irresistible storytelling skills and a wicked sense of humour. Bex, the chief protagonist, has long given up on the idea of a straight office job and is content to get by on dodgy dealings and botched jobs, but occasionally he does give in to the odd scruple. For example, despite the encouragement of his hapless mate Ollie, our narrator refuses to extract money from a kiddie's piggy bank and passes up the opportunity to cash in on a wedding ring belonging to a recently deceased old lady. He further redeems himself when, naturally in the line of "duty", he exposes firstly some neglectful parents and later an evil paedophile ring--exploits that earn him a hero's mention in the local 'paper. That said, this is far from a tale of robbing the rich to feed the poor and while Bex is a hugely entertaining creation, his chosen profession will not endear him to every reader.

King's first book is a devilishly funny insight into the mind of a petty criminal with hilarity at every turn. The Burglar Diaries, a remarkable debut from a man with a bright future on the "outside", looks set to ignite a cracking series. --David Thwaites

Product Description

The first and original 'crime diary' from Brit-crime author, Danny King.

Bristling with a razor-sharp wit, The Burglar Diaries is the first person account of petty thief Bex: a bit of a geezer who, with long-time partner-in-crime Ollie, just about gets by on the money he makes from house-breaking in small town suburbia. Not the sharpest of tools in the box, Bex and Ollie get into more than their fair share of scrapes but they stick together, have a laugh and make just enough cash to stay out of gainful employment. A lippy raconteur, Bex frequently shares his thoughts on life which are as dodgy as he is and offer a hilarious insight into the mind of the petty criminal.

Not for kids or do-gooders.

Adapted for TV by the BBC.

"King wisely stop short of turning Bex into a simple lovable rogue. He continually slags off everyone else in the book, including his friends, yet is himself utterly egocentric, immoral, disloyal and stupid, so that his narrative offers ambiguous pleasures" – The Independent

"Hilariously un-PC account of the jobs he has known and loved – the line-ups, the lock-ups and cock-ups. If ever there was an antidote to Bridget Jones's Diary this is it" – The Mirror

"Occasionally hilarious if morally dubious, The Burglar Diaries is well-worth buying – and definitely worth half-inching" – GQ Magazine

"... a collection of very funny burglary blunders in which King successfully humanises a bunch of people often considered to be worthless, gutless b*stards. Wonderful therapy for anyone who has been a victim of crime and one of the best reads of the year" – The Big Issue In the North

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 357 KB
  • Print Length: 260 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: B002SQARH0
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005L2B7WM
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #19,703 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
If liberal usage of the "f" word or "c" word offends you, read no further; and if you've ever been burgled, I'm not sure you will get into the spirit of the thing.

If none of the above puts you off, you're in for a treat. Bex, the burglar of the title, has been a moderately successful burglar but now has a story to tell, and he tells it as it is, including all his f***-ups and lots of other people's c***-ups. If you can put your moral indignation on hold, you will cheer at narrow escapes and laugh out loud at razor sharp wit and great anecdotes. The prison tea schedule is a classic. From the moment you meet Bex and his mate Ollie on a job that goes disastrously wrong because there is no bog paper in the loo, the plot unwinds cleverly towards a finale where doing the wrong thing might just turn out to be the right thing.

The Burglar Diaries may have four Fs, three Cs and a couple of wankers on each page but it is also a carefully crafted and truly witty read. But there are no messages in this book other than locking all your doors and windows before going out really does work!
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Well worth half-inching 3 Feb 2004
Format:Paperback
This is the funniest book I've ever read, and yes, I've read more than one. It's probably the funniest of the three of Danny Kings' 'diaries' (purely fuctional, I'm sure) currently available, in a laugh-out-loud kind of way. The first-hand accounts of bungled burglaries are hillarious, especially when Ollie is caught emptying his bowels in a victim's toilet as they arrive home. Compulsive reading, if it takes you more than a few days to finish there's something wrong with you. By the way, did you lock your windows?
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5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing 7 April 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
Great book brilliant writing and literally laugh out loud funny. A real down to earth author with great storytelling and a great sense of humour. Loved it!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious
This is a very funny book, filled with detail around how burglars operate but better for the insight into this community and how people make a living from it. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Jamesy
5.0 out of 5 stars the best
I'm steadily working through all Danny King's books but the burglar diaries are the pick of a great bunch and brilliant value
Published 2 months ago by Mr. N. Hounsome
5.0 out of 5 stars Arrived quickly - great condition.
Dodgy subject (met the writer once years ago and my policewoman friend brerated him) but hilariously funny if you keep an open mind. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Jane Buckley
4.0 out of 5 stars Very funny story by a morally dubious character
A take on life by "Bex" the burglar, who has somehow managed to stay out of prison during his 16-18 year time as a burglar (I desist from using 'career', because as Bex says, a... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Frog
4.0 out of 5 stars Ruthless
Written in an amusing style which I think is the only way to deal with this subject. Of course there is nothing funny about taking other people's property that means something to... Read more
Published 4 months ago by F. HODGKISS
4.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyable
Really enjoyed this book , funny reading the exploits of Bex and Ollie , will definitely be buying the other diaries by Danny King :)
Published 4 months ago by mandy mileham
4.0 out of 5 stars Good club book
We had the 'The Burglar Diaries' for our book club last month, which was a bit of a departure for us, I must say! Read more
Published 6 months ago by D.L.
3.0 out of 5 stars Was ok....ish
Not as funny as I thought it might be, that said, was laugh out loud funny in places, just wasn't enough of those places! Read more
Published 9 months ago by Kate from Kent
5.0 out of 5 stars Very, very funny
Bex is a sly thieving scumbag who knows every trick in the book. Sarcastic, street-wise and seemingly amoral, there is however the occasional glint of goodness in him, even the... Read more
Published 9 months ago by Bianca White
3.0 out of 5 stars the burglar diaries
very good read and a good laugh...taught me a few good things to watch out for in my own home
Published 9 months ago by E A Poe
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