The Burglar Diaries
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Product Description
Amazon.co.uk Review
A house burglar's memoirs might well be pushing the boundaries of public taste and common decency but make no mistake, The Burglar Diaries is truly a work of comic genius. Look beyond the coarse language and outrageous designs on life and you've got a real diamond of a novel just ripe for the taking.
Danny King writes like a foul-mouthed jack the lad who also happens to possess irresistible storytelling skills and a wicked sense of humour. Bex, the chief protagonist, has long given up on the idea of a straight office job and is content to get by on dodgy dealings and botched jobs, but occasionally he does give in to the odd scruple. For example, despite the encouragement of his hapless mate Ollie, our narrator refuses to extract money from a kiddie's piggy bank and passes up the opportunity to cash in on a wedding ring belonging to a recently deceased old lady. He further redeems himself when, naturally in the line of "duty", he exposes firstly some neglectful parents and later an evil paedophile ring--exploits that earn him a hero's mention in the local 'paper. That said, this is far from a tale of robbing the rich to feed the poor and while Bex is a hugely entertaining creation, his chosen profession will not endear him to every reader.
King's first book is a devilishly funny insight into the mind of a petty criminal with hilarity at every turn. The Burglar Diaries, a remarkable debut from a man with a bright future on the "outside", looks set to ignite a cracking series. --David Thwaites
Product Description
Bristling with a razor-sharp wit, The Burglar Diaries is the first person account of petty thief Bex: a bit of a geezer who, with long time partner-in-crime Ollie, just about gets by on the money he makes from house-breaking in small town suburbia. Not the sharpest tools in the box, Bex and Ollie get into more than their fair share of scrapes, but they stick together, have a laugh, and make enough cash to stay in the pub all weekend. A confident and lippy raconteur, Bex frequently shares his thoughts on life which are as dodgy as he is and offer an hilarious insight into the mind of the petty criminal.
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First Sentence
'What?' says Ollie, shining the torch in my face for the umpteenth fucking time. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Excerpt | Back Cover
'What?' says Ollie, shining the torch in my face for the umpteenth fucking time. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Excerpt | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Format:Paperback
If liberal usage of the "f" word or "c" word offends you, read no further; and if you've ever been burgled, I'm not sure you will get into the spirit of the thing.
If none of the above puts you off, you're in for a treat. Bex, the burglar of the title, has been a moderately successful burglar but now has a story to tell, and he tells it as it is, including all his f***-ups and lots of other people's c***-ups. If you can put your moral indignation on hold, you will cheer at narrow escapes and laugh out loud at razor sharp wit and great anecdotes. The prison tea schedule is a classic. From the moment you meet Bex and his mate Ollie on a job that goes disastrously wrong because there is no bog paper in the loo, the plot unwinds cleverly towards a finale where doing the wrong thing might just turn out to be the right thing.
The Burglar Diaries may have four Fs, three Cs and a couple of wankers on each page but it is also a carefully crafted and truly witty read. But there are no messages in this book other than locking all your doors and windows before going out really does work!
If none of the above puts you off, you're in for a treat. Bex, the burglar of the title, has been a moderately successful burglar but now has a story to tell, and he tells it as it is, including all his f***-ups and lots of other people's c***-ups. If you can put your moral indignation on hold, you will cheer at narrow escapes and laugh out loud at razor sharp wit and great anecdotes. The prison tea schedule is a classic. From the moment you meet Bex and his mate Ollie on a job that goes disastrously wrong because there is no bog paper in the loo, the plot unwinds cleverly towards a finale where doing the wrong thing might just turn out to be the right thing.
The Burglar Diaries may have four Fs, three Cs and a couple of wankers on each page but it is also a carefully crafted and truly witty read. But there are no messages in this book other than locking all your doors and windows before going out really does work!
5 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This is the funniest book I've ever read, and yes, I've read more than one. It's probably the funniest of the three of Danny Kings' 'diaries' (purely fuctional, I'm sure) currently available, in a laugh-out-loud kind of way. The first-hand accounts of bungled burglaries are hillarious, especially when Ollie is caught emptying his bowels in a victim's toilet as they arrive home. Compulsive reading, if it takes you more than a few days to finish there's something wrong with you. By the way, did you lock your windows?
5 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Danny King's skill for writing like people talk is brilliant. The timing of his one-liners is absolutely spot on, and they are always hilarious. His cast of characters, too, particularly his mate, Ollie, is a truly inspired comic invention. Bloody genius. I didn't 'laugh out loud' though, I screamed. Next installment please.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Laugh out loud!!
I do not usually read this type of literature. I bought this book for my new Kindle, I absolutely love it. I really don't want to finish it. Read more
Published 7 months ago by M. TANNER
Excellent Read
I heard about Danny King from a mate and decided to look him up. I bought the burglar diaries on a tuesday and was done with it by the saturday (pretty fast for me). Read more
Published on 19 Mar 2007 by Smashmouth69
Honest & Hilarious
I'd never heard of Danny King but stumbled across this book whilst browsing the public library - so glad I did. Read more
Published on 19 Nov 2006 by Ms. G. L. Thirlwall
Not as good as I'd hoped
The Burglar diaries is uninspiring.
It's the tale of an average joe with an interest in other people's belongings. Read more
It's the tale of an average joe with an interest in other people's belongings. Read more
Published on 1 May 2006 by N. Wood
A crime against fiction.
Despite the reviews - one of which described this as "a work of comic genius" - this is desperately unfunny and badly written with a series of pointless disjointed episodes cobbled... Read more
Published on 9 Nov 2005 by gordon henry
A book for anyone who owns anything of value
I loved it. It is extremely addictive reading and the style of King demonstrates what a broad canvas writing can be. Read more
Published on 28 Aug 2001 by adrianmcronin@hotmail.com
I couldn't put this book down for two days
I bought this book on recommendation with some hesitation as I was told that the language was a bit strong. Read more
Published on 15 July 2001
I laughed so much, I cried.
This must be one of the funniest and frankest books available. You might not want to give this book to your grandmother as a gift but you'll certainly want to read it out loud to... Read more
Published on 12 April 2001
Brilliant! One of the funniest books I have read for ages.
I couldn't stop laughing aloud and reading bits to anyone who happened to be within earshot. Even the introduction is hilarious. Read more
Published on 11 April 2001 by Mary-Ann Griffiths
Fantastic!
I really enjoyed it - it had me laughing out loud! I can't wait for the next in the series to be published. Read more
Published on 12 Mar 2001
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