This book will teach you that
* you're unlikely to get away with pretending to be dead.
* it's better to dump someone with no excuse at all than to tell them it's because they only like early Radiohead.
* sometimes, giving a genuine excuse is far more embarrassing than saying nothing.
* pretending to be an answering machine is never going to be convincing.
* you should never attempt to eat your underpants under any circumstances.