Scott Beatty's The Batman Handbook: The Ultimate Training Manual, opens with the following disclaimer:
"Attempting to exact vigilante-style justice is illegal, no matter what the situation. Even Batman himself, if he really existed, would be subject to prosecution, despite his close relationship with Commissioner Gordon... We urge you to obey all laws and respect all rights, including the property rights of others -- even the criminally insane."
DC's lawyers not only know their audience, they also have a sense of humor, something that's fully on display in Beatty's entertaining How To guide. Broken down into five chapters - The Basics, Bat Skills, Fighting Skills, Detective Skills and Escape Skills - Beatty offers up a realistic look at the caped crusader's methods and gadgets, along with a heaping helping of pure fanboy snark. Important information like how to make a Batsuit, how to drive the Batmobile on two wheels, and how to take out a roomful of goons is all presented in relatively straight-forward fashion, with real-world examples and common sense explanations, and frequently cut with wry observations such as: "Camouflage can save your life. Only a virtually invulnerable hero who operates in the daytime would wear bright blue, red and yellow."
Formatted like an actual training manual, it's very similar in tone to the Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook series, an oft-hilarious guide to surviving such potential disasters as escaping from quicksand or performing a tracheotomy. Besides explaining which martial arts are best to master and how to withstand poison kisses, The Batman Handbook is also rich in references to Batman history, making it a double treat for the fanboys and girls. In Chapter 5's "How to Win a Coin Toss," for example, Beatty briefly recounts Two Face's origin before suggesting, perhaps to future writers of the Dark Knight: "If your life is at stake or, more importantly, an innocent's fate is to be determined by the flip of a coin, you might be better off using the time it takes to toss a coin to launch an attack or slip from your bonds... Then decide the outcome yourself -- with your fists."
Batman's appeal has always been his universal relatability due to his lack of super powers. He's just a man - albeit an extraordinary man - the self-made hero that any of us could be if we had his willpower and drive, and of course, his bazillion dollar family fortune! The Batman Handbook is the perfect accessory for anyone who's ever dreamed of the vigilante lifestyle and answered the age old question of who they would rather be, Superman or Batman, with a derisive laugh: "Batman, of course."