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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
When I first discovered and read this book my second child was 6 months old and my first child already 3 years old. The book answered nearly every question I had agonised over during my first few years as a mother: it is full of well-researched and honest information about babies and their legitimate needs. After the reading this, and Dr Solter's other two books (Tears and Tantrums and Helping Young Children Flourish) I remember walking down the road with my two children feeling absolutely liberated and for the first time since having children I was not anxious or frustrated or worried about whether O ws 'doing the right things' at every juncture. I wished I had heard of Dr Solter's work before; that someone had recommended these three books to me earlier, because in my opinion every parent or parent-to-be would benefit from reading her work. I felt that every mother (and father) in every maternity ward ought to be given a copy of The Aware Baby to read!! It is such an important book, and one which is full of support for parents. In a world where babies and infants are so often misunderstood and consequently so often suffer - even with the best intentions in the world - it offers clear and in my opinion intuitively sound advice in an otherwise confusing sea of information, from conflicting medical advice to an array of methods passed down through the generations; advice and methods which new parents - often in urgent need of 'solutions' - follow, even if it goes against their better instinct or judgement.
Put simply, this book tells the reader about baby's emotional world and needs, and how to care for and meet those needs, and thus how to care fully for your child. It is easy to read, easy to understand, practical, and will remain useful as a reference point throughout your baby's development.
... Read more ›7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
By Amber
Format:Paperback
When I heard about Solter's theory, I was keen to read her book. I am an AP parent and I believe that it is important to listen to, and empathise with the feelings of toddlers and older children. I think it is important to encourage them to express themselves and not stifle them by distracting them. I was pregnant at the time, and interested to see how this might apply to babies.
When it comes to babies, however, I think Solter takes her theory to extremes, and is in danger of being dogmatic. She argues that once a baby's primary needs are met, then parents should simply hold and listen to a crying baby. She argues that the need is often a "need to cry". I am sure that there may be times when this is true, and simply listening is the best we can do as parents. However, Solter suggests that babies have this need to cry often (e.g. daily), often citing birth trauma as an explanation. Of course, this cannot be backed up with any evidence. She says that babies may need to cry for many minutes, months down the line, to release repressed birth trauma. But I need to clarify here that she is not talking about a specific pain, such as might be relieved by a cranial osteopath, but the psycological trauma of birth. Personally I think that assuming a baby is crying for such a reason is extremely risky.
She also argues that an older baby (I forget the exact age, possibly over 6 months) who is waking for breastmilk at night, has most likely been emotionally repressed. The baby is waking up in the night to try to cry, and by not letting them cry the mother is once again repressing this need. I had to really think about this - perhaps it's true... but Solter doens't provide a grain of evidence for this theory.... Read more ›
When it comes to babies, however, I think Solter takes her theory to extremes, and is in danger of being dogmatic. She argues that once a baby's primary needs are met, then parents should simply hold and listen to a crying baby. She argues that the need is often a "need to cry". I am sure that there may be times when this is true, and simply listening is the best we can do as parents. However, Solter suggests that babies have this need to cry often (e.g. daily), often citing birth trauma as an explanation. Of course, this cannot be backed up with any evidence. She says that babies may need to cry for many minutes, months down the line, to release repressed birth trauma. But I need to clarify here that she is not talking about a specific pain, such as might be relieved by a cranial osteopath, but the psycological trauma of birth. Personally I think that assuming a baby is crying for such a reason is extremely risky.
She also argues that an older baby (I forget the exact age, possibly over 6 months) who is waking for breastmilk at night, has most likely been emotionally repressed. The baby is waking up in the night to try to cry, and by not letting them cry the mother is once again repressing this need. I had to really think about this - perhaps it's true... but Solter doens't provide a grain of evidence for this theory.... Read more ›
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
By R. Beck
Format:Paperback
A few days after the birth of our child, Aletha Solter's books were recommended to us. What a relief! In the first instance, I felt so much calmer because I knew why my child was crying and stopped spending energy trying to coax her to stop. We also better understood how to respect our child's needs and desires.
Now when I take my daughter to Nursery, parents and nursery-nurses alike tell me how alive and curious she is, how easy she is, how well adjusted she is. Thanks Aletha!
If you want an easy childcare system, don't by this book, buy a dummy and a cot with high sides. If you're prepared to spend the time with your child to hear their stress, to comfort them - yes even at 3am - this book is for you.
Now when I take my daughter to Nursery, parents and nursery-nurses alike tell me how alive and curious she is, how easy she is, how well adjusted she is. Thanks Aletha!
If you want an easy childcare system, don't by this book, buy a dummy and a cot with high sides. If you're prepared to spend the time with your child to hear their stress, to comfort them - yes even at 3am - this book is for you.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
By K. Roberts
Format:Paperback
In the 2 years or so since I became a Mum I have read hundreds (literally) of parenting books. Aletha Solter is much-respected by me, along with other ground-breakers like Alfie Kohn, Marshall Rosenberg, Deborah Jackson, Polly Berrien-Berrends and Thomas Gordon et. al..
As an advocate of natural/attachment parenting I had fallen into the trap of seeing all crying as a communication of needs rather than as also being a means of stress release. I was exhausted trying to meet my infant's needs (which to me meant stopping her from crying as soon as possible by offering the breast, distracting, rocking etc).
Within a week of applying the principles in this book my daughter was sleeping through the night and much calmer and happier in the day. And I was one very happy mother. I have since had another child, and parenting is MUCH easier this time in part thanks to Solter's pronciples.
A warning for other attachment parenters: Like me, you may initially have some resistance to this book. You may reject it outright under the premise that it appears to advocating letting children cry it out. It does not. Read it and you'll have your eyes opened to a more loving way altogether.
As an advocate of natural/attachment parenting I had fallen into the trap of seeing all crying as a communication of needs rather than as also being a means of stress release. I was exhausted trying to meet my infant's needs (which to me meant stopping her from crying as soon as possible by offering the breast, distracting, rocking etc).
Within a week of applying the principles in this book my daughter was sleeping through the night and much calmer and happier in the day. And I was one very happy mother. I have since had another child, and parenting is MUCH easier this time in part thanks to Solter's pronciples.
A warning for other attachment parenters: Like me, you may initially have some resistance to this book. You may reject it outright under the premise that it appears to advocating letting children cry it out. It does not. Read it and you'll have your eyes opened to a more loving way altogether.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Love it!
It's like the Bible to me!! I was really frustrated about having a baby that cried like all the time feeling guilty and useless. Read more
Published 16 days ago by Anthi
4.0 out of 5 stars
Help to get babies sleeping
different ideas about baby sleeping. Ideas seem to have a lot to offer. Bought for daughter and grandson; not really tried in practice. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Wellbank
5.0 out of 5 stars
Amazing book!!
I can't recommend this book enough. It has changed my life, my relationship with my daughter for the better and it will have a very long effect on her and us. Read more
Published 18 months ago by belkis
4.0 out of 5 stars
Interesting, but really scarring
This book freaked me out. Its hard enough to be a mother, but to worry about birth trauma, baby's sensitivity to your emotions, disappointments throughout the day etc is just... Read more
Published on 20 Nov 2010 by PaleyGirl
2.0 out of 5 stars
Be cautious
I accept the good reviews of this book and understand why and how it has been written. However, this book has the capacity to do more harm than good. Read more
Published on 11 Jan 2007 by Sasha Alexander
5.0 out of 5 stars
A treasure
I read the original version of this book 13 years ago while pregnant with my daughter. It was one of the books I enthusiastically recommended to any friends who were pregnant, so... Read more
Published on 20 Aug 2006 by Mimi in London
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