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The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking [Hardcover]

Oliver Burkeman (Author)
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (76 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Publication Date: 21 Jun 2012
For a civilisation so fixated on achieving happiness, we seem remarkably incompetent at the task.

Self-help books don't seem to work. Few of the many advantages of modern life seem capable of lifting our collective mood. Wealth - even if you can get it - doesn't lead to happiness. Romance, family life and work often seem to bring stress as much as joy. We can't even agree on what 'happiness' means.

So are we engaged in a futile pursuit? Or are we just going about it the wrong way? What if it's our constant efforts to feel happy that are making us miserable?

In this fascinating new book, Oliver Burkeman introduces us to an unusual collection of people - experimental psychologists and Buddhists, terrorism experts, spiritual teachers, business consultants, philosophers - who share a single, surprising way of thinking about life. They argue that in our personal lives, and in society at large, it's our constant effort to be happy that is making us miserable. And that there is an alternative, 'negative path' to happiness and success that involves embracing failure, pessimism, insecurity and uncertainty - the very things we spend our lives trying to avoid.

Thought-provoking, counter-intuitive and ultimately uplifting, The Antidote is a celebration of the power of negative thinking.

Product details

  • Hardcover: 236 pages
  • Publisher: Canongate Books Ltd (21 Jun 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1847678645
  • ISBN-13: 978-1847678645
  • Product Dimensions: 14.3 x 2.4 x 21.2 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (76 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 164,742 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Review

'Does the pursuit of happiness make us miserable? In this elegant and erudite book, Oliver Burkeman explores the riddle of joy in the 21st century. This book doesn't set out to make you happy, but that may just be why it works.' --JONAH LEHRER, author of Imagine: How Creativity Works

'Addictive, wise and very funny. Burkeman never takes himself too seriously, but the rest of us should.' --TIM HARFORD, author of Adapt and The Undercover Economist

'Quietly subversive, beautifully written, persuasive and profound, Oliver Burkeman's book will make you think - and smile' -- ALEX BELLOS, author of Alex's Adventures in Numberland

'The Antidote is a gem. Countering a self-help tradition in which "positive thinking" too often takes the place of actual thinking, Oliver Burkeman returns our attention to several of philosophy's deeper traditions and does so with a light hand and a wry sense of humor. You'll come away from this book enriched - and, yes, even a little happier' --DANIEL H. PINK, author of Drive and A Whole New Mind

'A happiness how-to-do without the cringey bits. Help! Is quite possibly invaluable' --Daily Mail on Help!

'This is a genuinely useful book; Burkeman is not in the business of pouring automatic scorn; he really does want us to become slightly happier . . . Help! is win-win. If you do find yourself with those problems which, though potentially tractable, are disproportionately aggravating, then you will find solace and good advice here. If you do not, or rather think you do not, then you will be amused anyway. Either way, you won't need to read another self-help book again' --NICHOLAS LEZARD, GUARDIAN, (on Help!)

Book Description

'A bracing detox for the self-help junkie' Guardian --This text refers to the Paperback edition.
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A genuinely lovely, well written, well thought out guide to happiness. 24 Aug 2012
By David UKGB
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
I loved this book. It's as if Bill Bryson or Louis Theroux had performed a road trip into the world of self help. Yet the book has Burkeman's excellent style as a rational, intelligent journalist at heart and this work is both readable and important. Why important? Because it is the first book I have ever read that effortlessly and amusingly conveys hundreds of philosophical and psychological points on happiness into a coherent whole in a way that makes it a pleasure to consume. It should be required reading for all 18 year olds! I am 47 ... Buy it!
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32 of 34 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars How to be 8 July 2012
By Eleanor TOP 500 REVIEWER
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Vine™ Review (What's this?)
In "The Antidote" Oliver Burkeman argues that happiness (whatever that is) can not be achieved through manic positive thinking, motivational pep talks, or narrowly-focused goal setting. Instead one can find a fulfilling way to live by embracing uncertainty and giving negative thoughts their due. In eight chapters we meet Stoics, Buddhists, and other thinkers who all possess:

"A willingness to adopt an oblique stance towards one's own inner life; to pause and take a step back; to turn to face what others might flee from; and to realise that the shortest apparent route to a positive mood is rarely a sure path to a more profound kind of happiness."

Burkeman emphasizes that, unlike so many motivational speakers, he is not intending to offer fail-safe rules for a happy life. Instead he thoughtfully and thoroughly explores topics we might usually shy away from, arriving at wise advice. I already feel calmer and more content having been immersed in his ideas, and perversely I'm looking forward to a chance to test his techniques.

Having greatly enjoyed and valued Burkeman's previous book Help!: How to Become Slightly Happier and Get a Bit More Done, I was worried that "The Antidote" would cover too much of the same ground. This new book, however, felt fresh and readable offering a more sustained and meaty thesis than the short articles in "Help", whilst still retaining the humour and anecdotes that made the first book such a pleasure.
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Antidote - wiser, humbler, and happier for reading it. 4 Aug 2012
By VeraDoesPositive
Format:Hardcover
So what is The Antidote?

Acknowledging and considering the negative - instead of trying to suppress it with `positivity', getting more comfortable with it - making negative experiences less scary. There's a Stoical element of `feel the fear and do it anyway'. You render fears less potent by repeating and surviving a feared experience. And maybe, even, learning from it. Similarly, if you acknowledge and understand the negative, you may render it less potent.

This book puts balance back into the Tyranny of The Positive on the Self Help shelf. The more you experience and survive negative experiences, the more you trust yourself to survive them (although, to some extent, by mitigating them with healthy responses). So, rather than "trying to drown negativity out with relentless good cheer" (p9), is it more about learning to acknowledge, accept, and react to negative experiences thoughtfully. Balance this with meeting positive experiences with a certain amount of hazard-mitigating caution, moderation and reserve? Here you may have a more realistic `sweet spot' for healthy happy living.

If the only way to learn not to be overwhelmed by our negative experiences, or carried away by our positive experiences, is through experience, through doing and surviving, even thriving, then it's a journey with no short cuts.

Or is it?

This is where Burkeman's wry, reflective, investigative approach comes into its own. He tries things out and reports back. We get to learn from his torture by Barbie Girl. His trial by Chancery Lane. His face-off with death and the aisles of the Museum of Failure. Because the writing is personable, connected, honest, human, readable and funny, we get to really feel his experiences. So it's like we're learning by living through them.... Read more ›
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars authentic happiness, not a cheap self-help.... 23 Jun 2012
By J. DOUGLAS TOP 1000 REVIEWER VINE™ VOICE
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Vine™ Review (What's this?)
Do you see a glass that is half-full, half-empty, or that simply contains enough liquid to throw over the person who asks the question!? Oliver Burkeman wrestles with the recipe for contentment while rejecting the whole idea of a wellbeing formula. Burkeman noticed that "something united all those psychologists and philosophers - and even the odd self-help guru - whose ideas seemed actually to hold water". This Burkeman calls the "negative path": the idea that the more we strive for happiness, and other psychological goods like security and confidence, the less we achieve them. And so, paradoxically, it is by thinking more about the downers in life, such as the inevitability of death, the inescapability of suffering or the impossibility of security, that we achieve something like happiness.

Burkeman is keen to emphasise that the negative path is not "one single, comprehensive, neatly packaged philosophy" and nor is it a "panacea". It is rather a family of approaches that share an interest in coming to terms with the imperfections of reality in a number of different ways.

The most impressive parts are where Burkeman shows why it's so easy to believe that quick fix paths to happiness can help. For example, the idea that successful people persevere in the face of setbacks and have the charisma to get people to follow them can be true. However, people with the same qualities can also be very unsuccessful - if you persevere and get others to believe in your non-existent future success, you're a spectacular failure. Burkeman's approach throughout is this sort of even-handed way of looking at issues from all angles, and his writing style is light enough to deftly communicate complexity.... Read more ›
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars I want to buy it for everyone I love!
I cannot recommend this book more highly . Intelligent, warm , unflinching and thought provoking - I can honestly say it has changed the way I look at life for the better. Read more
Published 16 days ago by M Schamus
5.0 out of 5 stars Refreshingly real
I have read a great deal in this area of what I think of as 'the human condition' and this work is excellent. Read more
Published 18 days ago by Peter Rouse
5.0 out of 5 stars Lives up to the title!
I first met Mr Burkeman the Author of this book when he interviewed me 12 years ago for the Guardian. Read more
Published 27 days ago by Martyn Tott Short Film Maker
5.0 out of 5 stars Superb!
Got this book as a present for my Dad and he thoroughly enjoyed it. The tone of the book was right up his street and he couldn't put the book down!
Published 1 month ago by Ms. Aoife Neville
5.0 out of 5 stars Read it. Read it, read it, read it.
This book is excellent, I could read it over and over again. Without any cloying sentimentality, it achieves the joint goals of helping you to think more positively while allowing... Read more
Published 1 month ago by A. R. Highway
5.0 out of 5 stars Great to hear.
Made me feel normal that positive thinking wasn't the only way to think. Read this in paperback and then bought it again on kindle.
Published 1 month ago by Quill Head
5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent book that can inform and entertain even professionals
This is an excellent book. I did not expect it to be great as I normally do not like amateur psychology. However, this is the work of no amateur. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Naomi Elton
4.0 out of 5 stars Everyone should read this book...
This is a book to make you think...quite a lot. It explains why many of the beliefs and behaviours we have installed into us by our parents, peers and the education system lead to... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Simon Robinson
5.0 out of 5 stars An accomplished summary of all the insights needed to live skilfully
This is a well informed, relaxed and sometimes humorous account of why we don't need to be cheerful in order to be happy. I urge you to read it. It won't disappoint.
Published 2 months ago by J. Harvey
5.0 out of 5 stars Very good indeed
If you've ever wanted to slap the authors of those glib, happy talking articles about positive thinking.... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Notmuchtimetoread
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