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My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was about seven - David Beckham
For Tony to admit he is an alcoholic took an awful lot of bottle - Ian Wright on Tony Adams
I've been playing in a golf day for a boy seriously injured in a car accident. I had to drive like a lunatic to get here - Ray Houghton, TalkSport football pundit, on why he was late on-air
Reporter: What would you be if you weren't a footballer?
Peter Crouch: A virgin.
I've never been so certain about anything in my life. I want to be a coach. Or a manager. I'm not sure which - Phil Neville
Footballers may not be known for their profound insights, but it seems no one in the game is above a mixed metaphor or confused cliché. From Harry Redknapp to Martin O'Neill, Patrice Evra to Jason McAteer, see the funny side of the beautiful game with this hilarious collection of verbal own goals. Packed full of hilarious quotes, quips and misfires from the biggest names in football, Tell Him He's Pele is a must for everyone with a sense of humour.
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Romantics bruised by tawdry privatisation of the national sport will recover some of their affection for football from this volume of wonderful quotations. Here's the sport that still survives in Burslem, Brechin and Barnsley, captured mostly in the remarks of Football Men but also in the revelatory acts of the grotesque nouveau riche. I swear I could hear Bobby Robson sigh despairingly as he told an anecdote about one "star's" ear-ring. Football's at its most literate, its most passionate, funniest, wisest and saddest the further it gets from corporate-speak and vulgar behaviour. There's no room here for the Scudamores, Coles or expatriate owners. Instead, the gamut of football emotion is expressed fluently on pages that whiff of dubbin and liniment, mud and pies. What made the game beautiful is here - in a compendium edited by one of the sport's most articulate chroniclers.
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