Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Beavis and Butthead Only, 30 Aug 2008
This is such a lame book! Much has been made of how raunchy it is but it's the kind of writing a seventeen year old frat boy might contribute to a soft core internet porn site. Not in the least bit sexy or erotic. He just beats you over the head with it. A bit like a toddler who's just learned to say bum and willy. Other reviews have said the book has some witty one liners, but I scoured the thing and even including the much touted line about clitoral nerve endings, I couldn't find a decent one. In the main the author makes grindingly weak jokes like "she's living in a state called DENIAL". How old is that? Worst of all you get the feeling that Salem doesn't like women very much. They are stalked, murdered, abused and generally reviled by the male characters in the book. It's all a bit old school misogynistic. Stalking and murdering women is a bit of a theme with this author. Check out Remember September when he used to write under the name Jon Salem. I prefer my women characters to be stronger and sassier. The women in this book were all so beaten down. I know these type of books are hardly works of art - I enjoy trashy beach reads as much as anyone - but I think this book even fails on its own term. It's just not sexy, satisfying or bold enough. If you are a teenage American college boy just off to his spring break in Daytona Beach you'll probably love it! But I can't imagine anyone with half a brain cell finding it anything less than than grindingly tame.
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11 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
shallow and crude, 10 Aug 2008
Having read the other reviews about how gripping this book was, it was disappointing to find it relied on crude language, a poorly executed plot and generally graphic sex scenes that were irrelevant and at best, unimaginative. All the characters had potential to develop but were let down by shortcuts and poor conclusions. Could have been much better written with a different ending and more care to make the characters less one dimensional.
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9 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Overhyped - Male author is no Jackie Collins, 10 Aug 2008
The main problem with this book is the characters. They're awful, so it's hard to care what happens to them. I consider myself to be a feminist, but I couldn't stand Liza - what was up with all those long-winded televised debates? Found myself skipping pages (and, let's face it, it isn't a long book!) Thought the whole deal with her hubby was weird. Billy started off my favourite, but she never really went anywhere (well, nowhere good). I guess Kelly was supposed to be the most sympathetic, but as another reviewer pointed out, her whole turnaround and romance just wasn't convincing. There was also a lot of dull back story - for something that is supposed to be a fast-paced read, it seemed out of place. And, as others have said, the ending was... well, it just ENDED. It was like someone had specified a word count and the author knew he was getting close and just rounded it all off.
I also felt like there was something a little off about the whole book - it just didn't convince me, I never felt taken away into the moment. Maybe knowing it was written by a man has prejudiced me, but it did feel like he'd nicked quite a lot of ideas from SATC - like Miranda considering storing her eggs - and didn't really know how a woman would feel about them. He'd also nicked lines of dialogue from films - Cruel Intentions, "you can put it anywhere" cropped up!
And, if you're buying it for the sex, don't bother - the descriptions are clinical rather than sensual, and there's nothing we haven't all seen / heard of before. I think the publishers have tried to hype up it being a dirty book, but I wasn't shocked or particularly interested. Sex is only interesting if you know the characters.
Why the 3 stars then? Well, it's better than Platinum (which I gave 3 stars, but am now regretting!) & Guilty Pleasures (which I can't even be bothered to review, it was so dull). Tan Lines is an easy read, and the guy does seem like a good writer. Maybe next time he'll think more carefully about the characters and storyline though?
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