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Talk To The Snail [Paperback]

Stephen Clarke
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (39 customer reviews)
RRP: £7.99
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Book Description

2 July 2007

Have you been taken to what you've been assured is the perfect house deep in the French countryside, only to find there's no electricity or running water? Gone to the doctor with a nasty cough, and been diagnosed with a rather more personal complaint? Walked into an half-empty restaurant, only to be told that it's complet?

If the answer to any of the above is oui, Talk to the Snail is the book for you.Find out how to get served in a restaurant; the best way to deal with French hypochondria; learn the language of love, sex and suppositories (not necessarily in that order); it's all here in this funny, informative, seriously useful guide on how to get what you really want from the French.

With advice on essential phrases and bons mots to cover all eventualities, and illustrated with witty real-life anecdotes, Talk to the Snail is a book that no self-respecting Francophile - or Francophobe - can afford to be without.

Don't go to France without reading this book.

And don't even think of buying a house there.


Frequently Bought Together

Talk To The Snail + A Year In The Merde + Merde Actually
Price For All Three: £17.22

Buy the selected items together
  • A Year In The Merde £5.99
  • Merde Actually £5.24


Product details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Black Swan; New Ed edition (2 July 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0552773689
  • ISBN-13: 978-0552773683
  • Product Dimensions: 12.7 x 2 x 19.7 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (39 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 40,358 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Review

"Edgier than Bryson, hits harder than Mayle" (The Times )

"Done more for the Entente Cordiale than any of our politicians" (Daily Mail )

"Must have comedy-of-errors diary about being a Brit abroad" (Mirror )

"Clarke renders the flavor of life in Paris impeccably: the endless strikes, the sadistic receptionists, the crooked schemes by which the wealthy and well-connected land low-rent apartments... Clarke's eye for detail is terrific" (Washington Post )

"Call him the anti-Mayle. Stephen Clarke is acerbic, insulting, un-PC and mostly hilarious" (San Francisco Chronicle )

Book Description

From the bestselling author of A YEAR IN THE MERDE, the Ten Commandments for Living with the French

Inside This Book (Learn More)
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Good fun view of life in France 22 Sep 2009
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
I've just finished reading this as well as A Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi: The Ideal Guide to Sounding, Acting and Shrugging Like the French and The Secret Life of France. I would say these are all good books as they all amusing, insightful and thankfully free of dumbing down or stereotyping of the French. If you're trying to choose between them then here is a comparison:
1) A Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi: The Ideal Guide to Sounding, Acting and Shrugging Like the French: Arch and hilarious overview that covers a wide variety of subjects. Covers a bit more ground than 'Talk to the snail' and with a bit more experience.
2) The Secret Life of France: This delves a lot deeper than the other two and is also hilarious in parts. Combines biography with revealing insights into the French character. The only book which also covers the serious / negative side of life in France - racial tension etc. Also good if you plan to educate your children in France as it has some information about the education system, how kids behave etc.
3) Talk to the Snail: Very funny book written by a younger author than the other two, slightly less incisive and definitely written from a male perspective - so not many insights on the dating game for women in here. Still great fun - probably the best book for you if you are a young single guy going to France. Subject matter quite similar to 'A Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi' so maybe not worth buying both.

In a nutshell I would say buy either 'A Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi' or 'Talk to the Snail' as these cover quite similar subject matter and 'tricks' for getting by in France. If you are looking for deeper insights, then also get 'The Secret Life of France'.
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35 of 36 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Right on the nose 27 Mar 2007
Format:Hardcover
I've been in France since 1995, and have read almost every Anglophone book about the country. About 95% of them are full of clichés and not even funny. But Stephen's book is not only hilarious (I no longer care if Parisians stare at me when I'm laughing on the metro), it's also the most original critique I've read in a long time. I think it's also a fair book, because he makes as much fun of us English/Americans as he does the French. A great read!
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37 of 39 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Exploring the love/hate relationship 12 Oct 2006
By A Common Reader TOP 50 REVIEWER VINE™ VOICE
Format:Hardcover
Anyone familiar with A Year in the Merde or the author's follow-up book Merde Actually will have a rough idea of the style and content of Talk to The Snail. This time, rather than following the fortunes of Paul West, Stephen Clarke writes in his own name offering a wide range of advice on understanding the French.

Stephen Clarke takes the reader through eleven "commandments" such as Thou Shalt Not Work (the French addiction to the 4.5 day week and the public holiday) Thou Shalt Not be Served (why French waiters can be so difficult), and Thou Shalt be Ill (where Clarke writes about French hypochondria and gets in the inevitable references to suppositories). These commandments are all dealt with wittily of course, and anyone familiar with the country will recognise the traits and characteristice he describes.

Many people found the fictional Paul West so credible that they believed he really was a latter day Bryson, a real person writing about his real life, but in this volume, Stephen Clarke confirms that the earlier two books were novels rather than biography. However, the "voice" is the same, as is the enjoyment of the writing.

My only quibble is that I wonder if some of the French behaviours are Parisian rather than applying generally to the whole nation? I know from personal experience that the people of many areas of rural France are often polite, neighbourly and eager to help. However, let's not spoil a good diatribe with un-necessary altruism. The book is good natured throughout and I doubt the most patriotic French person would find much to complain about. This is another very humorous book from Clarke it is good to see the author step from behind the curtain of "Paul West". It will draw the reader from page to page as a light, refreshing read, a nicely presented harback book which would make an excellent gift for anyone who enjoys visiting France.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Very funny and entertaining
So funny and manages to hit the nail right on the head. Found myself laughing out loud or nodding in agreement
Published 27 days ago by Pixel Dodger
4.0 out of 5 stars Great insight & humour
This really does capture the french attitude to life.
The only reason for not giving it 5 stars is because I this on the back of Dial M for Merde, which was fantastic, and I... Read more
Published 1 month ago by P. Love
5.0 out of 5 stars A 'must read' book for everyone interested in France and the French -...
It's absolutely spot on... and everyone to whom I've recommended it, of any nationality, has made ;similar comments. Brilliant stuff!
Published 1 month ago by Gillian G
4.0 out of 5 stars Good read
I hope the french don't rad this book. we will all be banned from entering France. A smile on every page
Published 3 months ago by A good buy
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow again
The author shows how he can be inspirational and very diverse. Great comedy and a fresh approach. Again the book was superb.
Published 4 months ago by sandyzaphod
5.0 out of 5 stars Will have you in stiches
Fab book. If you have any experience of living in France you will find it very funny. I use it with my French students who enjoy it too. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Veteran
4.0 out of 5 stars Twilight Zone
I almost wanted to contact Mr. Clarke and ask him if he's sure that he's not living in Portugal? Because 98% of what I read applies to my country as well(our health system was... Read more
Published 9 months ago by Marie
5.0 out of 5 stars Really funny
I am French and I never get tired of Stephen Clarke's books, especially this one. Everything he says is so right, and he does with with a great sense of humour and really funny... Read more
Published 9 months ago by LaGrenouille
3.0 out of 5 stars Book spoiled by Kindle download
This would have been a good read had not the character recognition software not let it down woefully
for example Cafe au lait is "Cafe au kit"
Rightness becomes... Read more
Published 12 months ago by MoJo24
5.0 out of 5 stars Understanding the French
I got this book after reading '1000 years of annoying the french' by the same author and wanted to have another good laugh. Read more
Published 12 months ago by D. C. Greenacre
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