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Talk to the Snail
 
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Talk to the Snail (Paperback)

by Stephen Clarke (Author)
4.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
RRP: £7.99
Price: £5.99 & this item Delivered FREE in the UK with Super Saver Delivery. See details and conditions
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Frequently Bought Together

Talk to the Snail + Merde Happens + Dial M for Merde
Price For All Three: £17.07

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  • Merde Happens by Stephen Clarke

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Product details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Black Swan; New edition edition (2 Jul 2007)
  • Language English
  • ISBN-10: 0552773689
  • ISBN-13: 978-0552773683
  • Product Dimensions: 19.6 x 12.8 x 2.2 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.co.uk Sales Rank: 3,645 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

    Popular in this category:

    #56 in  Books > Humour

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Product Description

Product Description
Have you been taken to what you've been assured is the perfect house deep in the French countryside, only to find there's no electricity or running water? Gone to the doctor with a nasty cough, and been diagnosed with a rather more personal complaint? Walked into an half-empty restaurant, only to be told that it's complet? If the answer to any of the above is oui, "Talk to the Snail" is the book for you. Find out how to get served in a restaurant; the best way to deal with French hypochondria; learn the language of love, sex and suppositories (not necessarily in that order); it's all here in this funny, informative, seriously useful guide on how to get what you really want from the French. With advice on essential phrases and bons mots to cover all eventualities, and illustrated with witty real-life anecdotes, "Talk to the Snail" is a book that no self-respecting Francophile - or Francophobe - can afford to be without. Don't go to France without reading this book. And don't even think of buying a house there.

From the Back Cover
BY THE BEST SELLING AUTHOR OF A YEAR IN THE MERDE AND MERDE ACTUALLY…

The only book you'll need to understand what the French really think, how to get on with them and, and most importantly, how to get the best out of them.

With useful sections on:
·Making sure you get served in a café
·Harassing French estate agents
·Living with bacteria
·Pronouncing French swear-words
·Surviving the French driving experience
·Falling in amour, Paris-style

And beaucoup beaucoup more!

DON’T GO TO FRANCE WITHOUT READING THIS BOOK!

See all Product Description


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What Do Customers Ultimately Buy After Viewing This Item?

Talk to the Snail
62% buy the item featured on this page:
Talk to the Snail 4.6 out of 5 stars (11)
£5.99
Merde Happens
11% buy
Merde Happens 3.8 out of 5 stars (29)
£5.49
Dial M for Merde
11% buy
Dial M for Merde 3.7 out of 5 stars (6)
£5.59
A Year in the Merde
8% buy
A Year in the Merde 3.8 out of 5 stars (90)
£4.56

 

Customer Reviews

11 Reviews
5 star:
 (8)
4 star:
 (2)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:    (0)
1 star:    (0)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.6 out of 5 stars (11 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
28 of 30 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Exploring the love/hate relationship, 12 Oct 2006
By A Common Reader "See all mybook reviews at ww... (Sussex, England) - See all my reviews
(TOP 500 REVIEWER)      
This review is from: Talk to the Snail (Hardcover)
Anyone familiar with A Year in the Merde or the author's follow-up book Merde Actually will have a rough idea of the style and content of Talk to The Snail. This time, rather than following the fortunes of Paul West, Stephen Clarke writes in his own name offering a wide range of advice on understanding the French.

Stephen Clarke takes the reader through eleven "commandments" such as Thou Shalt Not Work (the French addiction to the 4.5 day week and the public holiday) Thou Shalt Not be Served (why French waiters can be so difficult), and Thou Shalt be Ill (where Clarke writes about French hypochondria and gets in the inevitable references to suppositories). These commandments are all dealt with wittily of course, and anyone familiar with the country will recognise the traits and characteristice he describes.

Many people found the fictional Paul West so credible that they believed he really was a latter day Bryson, a real person writing about his real life, but in this volume, Stephen Clarke confirms that the earlier two books were novels rather than biography. However, the "voice" is the same, as is the enjoyment of the writing.

My only quibble is that I wonder if some of the French behaviours are Parisian rather than applying generally to the whole nation? I know from personal experience that the people of many areas of rural France are often polite, neighbourly and eager to help. However, let's not spoil a good diatribe with un-necessary altruism. The book is good natured throughout and I doubt the most patriotic French person would find much to complain about. This is another very humorous book from Clarke it is good to see the author step from behind the curtain of "Paul West". It will draw the reader from page to page as a light, refreshing read, a nicely presented harback book which would make an excellent gift for anyone who enjoys visiting France.
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17 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Right on the nose, 27 Mar 2007
This review is from: Talk to the Snail (Hardcover)
I've been in France since 1995, and have read almost every Anglophone book about the country. About 95% of them are full of clichés and not even funny. But Stephen's book is not only hilarious (I no longer care if Parisians stare at me when I'm laughing on the metro), it's also the most original critique I've read in a long time. I think it's also a fair book, because he makes as much fun of us English/Americans as he does the French. A great read!
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Naughty but affectionate guide to French thinking!, 16 Nov 2007
This is not another volume in the Paul West series, but a very funny guide to the way the French think, and what it's like to live there amongst it all! Anyone who's spent any time will recognise the descriptions of bureaucracy, restaurant waiters - and of course French drivers!! However, as with all the best of this type of book, there is some practical info along with the mockery.
Great gift for a Francophile, but beware reading in a public place, as people will be staring at you while you snigger!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

4.0 out of 5 stars Stephen Clarke - Talk to the Snail
My daughter (aged 16) read a Year in the Merde and thoroughly enjoyed it and finds this book equally entertaining
Published 28 days ago by Mrs. S. G. Hart-jones

5.0 out of 5 stars Theoretical and practical training!
Having bought this book in Paris I constantly found myself reading a chapter and then encountering practical illustrations of the observations Stephen Clarke had made. Read more
Published 1 month ago by K. Burns

5.0 out of 5 stars Special info...
Evreything you always wanted to know about France but were afraid to ask... is in this wonderful book, "Talk to the Snail"!
Published 23 months ago by Natacha Henry

5.0 out of 5 stars if you've ever been or are going to France... or even if you haven't
a really funny read and very insightful too. tells you everything the guidebooks leave out about that lovely and infuriating place known as france. can't go wrong with it.
Published 24 months ago by Mark Markai

5.0 out of 5 stars Essential reading
This is essential reading for anyone interested in France and the French.
Fantastic insights into how the French think, and the origins of some of their foibles etc... Read more
Published on 17 Feb 2007 by Book Lover

3.0 out of 5 stars Take your snail with some salt
Stephen Clarke's amusing little book consists of eleven chapters on different aspects of France that he says you need to know about in order to understand the French. Read more
Published on 8 Feb 2007 by L O'connor

5.0 out of 5 stars Highly entertaining reading for any time of the day (or night).
This is the perfect travelling companion. Packed with historical as well as cultural information, useful translations and helpful hints on how to keep on the right side of the... Read more
Published on 12 Nov 2006 by Chaucer

5.0 out of 5 stars All completely true!
Having lived in France for the last few months, I've come to view Stephen Clarke's book as much more than a set of humorous anecdotes about our closest neighbours. Read more
Published on 5 Nov 2006 by General Fred von Bottom

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