Shop now Learn more Shop now Up to 50% off Fashion Cloud Drive Photos Shop now Learn More Shop now Halloween Pets Shop now Shop Fire Shop Kindle Voyage Listen in Prime Learn more Shop now
Start reading THE BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO FATHERHOOD on your Kindle in under a minute. Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here or start reading now with a free Kindle Reading App.

Deliver to your Kindle or other device


Try it free

Sample the beginning of this book for free

Deliver to your Kindle or other device

Sorry, this item is not available in
Image not available for
Image not available


Colin Bowles

Kindle Price: £3.72 includes VAT* & free wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet
* Unlike print books, digital books are subject to VAT.

Free Kindle Reading App Anybody can read Kindle books—even without a Kindle device—with the FREE Kindle app for smartphones, tablets and computers.

To get the free app, enter your e-mail address or mobile phone number.


Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle Edition £3.72  
Paperback --  
Kindle Daily Deal
Kindle Daily Deal: Up to 70% off
Each day we unveil a new book deal at a specially discounted price--for that day only. Learn more about the Kindle Daily Deal or sign up for the Kindle Daily Deal Newsletter to receive free e-mail notifications about each day's deal.

Book Description

The ultimate guide book for the father to be.

For many years men did not see fatherhood as a very demanding role. Their function was quite simple; they were supposed to bring home a wage packet, get drunk on Fridays, hit the children when requested by their wives, and pay for their daughter’s wedding. They spent the rest of the time in the shed making corner cupboards.

But times have changed. Sometime in the late sixties, about the time people started to worry about the hole in the ozone layer and read the list of ingredients on barbecue flavored potato chips and say things like ‘worst case scenario’ and ‘meaningful relationship’ men discovered there might be more to manhood than bench presses and discharging firearms at unarmed animals.

Women actually demanded they take a hand in bringing up, rather than beating up, their own children.

Fatherhood was invented. Men found it was a bit more difficult than they thought.

This book will let you in on a few parenting secrets, the war stories of those who have survived the domestic battle zones. If you’re a father to be, it will tell you what to expect when she’s expecting.

What the f**k were you thinking anyway? Are condoms really that much of a hassle, stoopid?

Well, it’s too late now.

I was not the classic father. I never hit the parenthood guides. I made jokes about fatherhood. I thought being a dad would be a breeze.

I was wrong.

I’m still not sure if anything prepares you for parenthood. Even when you go into with your eyes wide open, you’ll just get a pudgy peanut-butter stained finger poked in them. Fatigue and frustration will break you sooner or later.

You’ll rant and rave and froth at the mouth. You will shout and threaten.
And that’s just when you see the bill for the ultra sound.

So here it is, the ultimate parenting guide for the father to be.

Chapter 1: Too late now, sucker.
Chapter 2: Preparing for the Happy Event. Start working out now!
Chapter 3: Rose or any other name.
(finding the right monicker for Monica)
Chapter 4: Charting your Progress (What to expect and when to expect it)
Chapter 5: Diaper Days: the good, the bad and wtf is that???
Chapter 6: Eat your greens: a guide to good nutrition. What’s the difference between mucus and broccoli? Kids can’t stand the taste of broccoli.
Chapter 7: the little bit of tissue issue
Chapter 8: the truth, the whole truth. Lies my toddler told me.
Chapter 9: The truth about domestic violence; children are brutal
Chapter 10: pre-school tension - the three year old itch
Chapter 11: Are we there yet? Travelling with children
Chapter 12: Maintaining the illusion of discipline
Chapter 13: The Blood of Others. Can friendship survive children?
Chapter 14: The Watergate Effect: the hazards of answering questions
Chapter 15: If pain persists: the truth about your family doctor
Chapter 16: What’s wrong now?
Chapter 17: Saying goodbye to Guinea. An adult discussion about petting
Chapter 18: The umpire is a jerk: when not to interfere
Chapter 19: Guess what?
Chapter 20: So you want to be a father? A quiz to help you find out if you have The Right Stuff

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 523 KB
  • Print Length: 128 pages
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #940,635 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
  •  Would you like to give feedback on images?

Customer Reviews

There are no customer reviews yet on
5 star
4 star
3 star
2 star
1 star
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 5.0 out of 5 stars  1 review
5.0 out of 5 stars Hillarious! 5 Feb. 2014
By Charveron - Published on
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This is a hillarious book, whether you are parents already (then you truly recognize yourself!) or thinking about becoming parents (in this case you might think this is an exageration, but it is not!!!). Wonderful book, too bad no hard copies are available, though!
Was this review helpful?   Let us know

Customer Discussions

This product's forum
Discussion Replies Latest Post
No discussions yet

Ask questions, Share opinions, Gain insight
Start a new discussion
First post:
Prompts for sign-in

Search Customer Discussions
Search all Amazon discussions

Look for similar items by category