Swords, sandals and the Good Book: Great, Bad & Truly Awful

A Listmania! list by Thomas
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Spartacus [DVD] [1960]
1.  Spartacus [DVD] [1960] DVD ~ Kirk Douglas
The list author says:
  "Great director, great actors, great script (shame about the intrusive music): 'Spartacus...leader of men'"
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Solomon And Sheba [DVD]
2.  Solomon And Sheba [DVD] DVD ~ Yul Brynner
The list author says:
  "Really quite bad. The reason? They didn't stick to the text. Not even Yul Brenner could save this mess. Compare:"
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The Ten Commandments [DVD] [1956]
3.  The Ten Commandments [DVD] [1956] DVD ~ Charlton Heston
The list author says:
  "The invented bits in this are hilarious but mostly it sticks to the original and it shows in the great result. 'So let it be written. So let it be done'"
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Ben-Hur [1959] [DVD]
4.  Ben-Hur [1959] [DVD] DVD ~ Charlton Heston
The list author says:
  "Patchy. The religious bits (soaring choirs on the first Easter sunday etc.) are tedious but the classical bits bring it up to the mark. That sea battle. THAT chariot race."
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Barabbas [DVD] [2002]
5.  Barabbas [DVD] [2002] DVD ~ Anthony Quinn
The list author says:
  "Not a cheap religious epic but a moving account of one man's fight with God."
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Alexander The Great [DVD] [1956]
6.  Alexander The Great [DVD] [1956] DVD ~ Richard Burton
The list author says:
  "Years ago the unions had rules that you couldn't make swords and sandals epics without Richard Burton. This is one of them. It's alright but not as good as:"
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Cleopatra (3 Disc Special Edition) [1963] [DVD]
7.  Cleopatra (3 Disc Special Edition) [1963] [DVD] DVD ~ Elizabeth Taylor
The list author says:
  "Those fools at Fox pulled the plug too early, but  what a film: 'You ask me the Proconsul of Rome to kneel before you?' 'I asked it of Caesar. I DEMAND it of you. You will kneel!'"
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The Robe [DVD]
8.  The Robe [DVD] DVD ~ Richard Burton
The list author says:
  "Another film about someone at the Crucifixion. Not as good as Barabbas. Not as bad as..."
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Demetrius The Gladiators - Dvd
9.  Demetrius The Gladiators - Dvd DVD ~ Victor Mature
The list author says:
  "A tedious sequel. Not to be confused with..."
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Gladiator (2000) - Two Disc Set [DVD]
10.  Gladiator (2000) - Two Disc Set [DVD] DVD ~ Russell Crowe
The list author says:
  "Revived the genre for which much thanks. Not a bad film if you ignore the cod Shakespeare ending (Cleopatra did it better). 'Fratres! What we do in life echoes in eternity!'"
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Helen of Troy [DVD] [1956]
11.  Helen of Troy [DVD] [1956] DVD ~ Helen of Troy
The list author says:
  "Certainly not the face that launched a thousand ships but it's still quite a spectacle (the first use of Cinemascope) if you suppress memories of Peter Jackson's LOTR. Too bland to be truly Homeric."
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Troy (2-Disc Edition) [DVD] [2004]
12.  Troy (2-Disc Edition) [DVD] [2004] DVD ~ Brad Pitt
The list author says:
  "Aaarrgh! Spare us from such rubbish! Soft and not so soft pornography. No understanding of the terror the Greeks felt at the divine. Might as well be set in the present day. Avoid."
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The Fall of the Roman Empire [DVD] [1964]
13.  The Fall of the Roman Empire [DVD] [1964] DVD ~ Sophia Loren
The list author says:
  "Covering much the same ground as Gladiator but with a more coherent script and better actors.  Avoid this version and get the French one (with an English soundtrack) instead."
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Attila the Hun [DVD]
14.  Attila the Hun [DVD] DVD ~ Gerard Butler
The list author says:
  "Think Gladiator done on the cheap but why did they have to leave out Attila's meeting with St Leo the Great?"
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Jesus of Nazareth [DVD]
15.  Jesus of Nazareth [DVD] DVD ~ Robert Powell
The list author says:
  "Not as great as the Passion but great nonetheless. The Feeding of the 5,000 is very moving but why no holes in the hands of the Risen Jesus?"
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The Passion of the Christ [DVD] [2004]
16.  The Passion of the Christ [DVD] [2004] DVD ~ James Caviezel|Maia Morgenstern|Monica Bellucci
The list author says:
  "A great work of religious art. Those who think it is meaningless violence completely miss the point. Christ's is the suffering that heals all pain. 'By his wounds we are healed.'"
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Customer Discussions about products in this list
Discussion Replies Latest Post
Ben-Hur - Ultimate Collector's Edition [1959] [Blu-ray][Region Free] forum
Audio and Subtitles - confirmed 		0 19 days ago
Troy [Blu-ray] [2004] [US Import] forum
Subtitles? 		2 23 days ago
Ben-Hur - Ultimate Collector's Edition [1959] [Blu-ray][Region Free] forum
Ben-Hur on Blu-Ray 		1 9 Apr 2012
Gladiator [Remastered] [Blu-ray][Region Free] forum
Does it still ship with a slip 		1 5 Mar 2012
Gladiator [Remastered] [Blu-ray][Region Free] forum
Gladiator remaster ? 		2 6 Feb 2012
Robe [Blu-ray] [1953] [US Import] forum
Subtitles and regions 		5 17 Dec 2011
Gladiator [Remastered] [Blu-ray][Region Free] forum
Region Code? 		4 17 Nov 2011
Ben-Hur - Ultimate Collector's Edition [1959] [Blu-ray][Region Free] forum
languages 		3 14 Oct 2011
Ben-Hur - Ultimate Collector's Edition [1959] [Blu-ray][Region Free] forum
Specs on the Blu-ray edition? 		2 27 Sep 2011
Gladiator [Remastered] [Blu-ray][Region Free] forum
Audio distortion [Remastered version] 		0 2 Sep 2011
Spartacus (1960) [HD DVD] forum
subtitles and languages 		1 20 Jul 2011
Passion of the Christ [Blu-ray] [2004] [US Import] forum
bluray region 		2 8 Jun 2011
 
   

About this Listmania!

 

Author
Thomas
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Qualifications: Sometime Classicist
Last updated: 09/11/2004
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