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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
18 of 18 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
Surviving an Affair is the description of a trip from how a seemingly 'OK' marriage can deteriorate to a full-blown affair, and it provides a detailed roadmap of how to survive the affair and eventually recover, hopefully with the renewal of the marriage. This book encompasses the behavioral approaches that Dr. Harley and Dr. Chalmers have successfully used to save marriages, and applies them directly to the affair. The elements that are covered in some of Dr. Harley's other works ('Give and Take' and 'Love Busters') are included here. This book presents a balanced viewpoint of the betrayer's view as well as the betrayed (and even presents the view of the other man/woman).
If you're in an affair, either as the betrayed spouse or the betrayer; I strongly recommend this book. It explains the atmosphere that leads up to an affair, and it vividly illustrates how an affair SHOULD end. Most affairs don't end this way; instead, they linger on with the spouse having the affair unable to make a decision. All the while, the betrayed spouse and the children suffer tremendously. But there is hope. This book gives a great deal of insight in to the mechanics of the affair, and it describes how the 'betrayed' can hang on through the worse experience of their life to eventually come to a point where reconciliation is possible.
The recovery process outlined in this book is also very detailed. Some of it seems 'silly' or trivial at times, but it is important and it really can work (I'm in a marriage that is proof of that).
An affair is Hell. This is a roadmap to get back from Hell.
31 of 32 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
My husband of 15 years told me of a 64 day relationship which concluded with the intention of leaving me and my 4 children. As he now realizes himself that it was all a 'big mistake' I am left with the task of accepting his mistake and moving on. I have read many self-help books on this subject and feel that although there is no obvious answer to this problem, the more view points one has the more chance one stands of coming to terms with what is probably one of the most sole destroying thing I will ever have to face. Therefore, I would strongly suggest this book to anybody who is trying to love again...........
18 of 19 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
From the 18-page Personal History Questionnaire to the sample good-bye letter, Dr. Harley again demonstrates his expertise in the area of helping couples. This is a step-by-step guide about how to recover as a couple and by yourself. I'm happy to say that my wife and I are in love again...and not by chance.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
No Help
This book was no help at all. So much so that it made things worse. If you want help read Surviving Infidelity by Rona B Subotnick.
Published on 2 Jun 2008 by Tracey
Never discusses history
This book never covers the importance of an individual's history. Are you predisposed to this? Did you cheat in previous relationships? Read more
Published on 5 May 1999
People have different needs and meeting needs is love.
I recently believed that my spouse was having an affair. I came across this book at the library, and when I got in to reading it, knew that an affair was in progress. Read more
Published on 24 Mar 1999
Excellent guide on ending affairs and rebuilding a marriage
This is an excellent, very practical book designed to help you end an affair and rebuild your marriage. Read more
Published on 5 Nov 1998
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