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How to Survive Your Husband's Midlife Crisis: Strategies and Stories from The Midlife Wives Club

How to Survive Your Husband's Midlife Crisis: Strategies and Stories from The Midlife Wives Club [Kindle Edition]

Pat Gaudette , Gay Courter
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)

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Product Description

Product Description

You are in a committed relationship, married or involved exclusively with one another. You thought everything was glorious—or, at least as glorious as it gets. All relationships have some rough spots. But now it seems that you are always fighting. Or he just doesn't act like himself anymore. He doesn't like his job. He wants a sportier car. He says you and he have grown apart. He wants something but he doesn't know what.

All relationships have their difficult times, but when a previously sensible man morphs into an angry stranger, the difficulties compound. Does your man say he is no longer "in love" with you but his reasons, if any, are vague at best? Is he trying to reinvent himself as a younger, hipper guy? Is he looking for an elusive "something" that he can't define? Have you twisted yourself inside out in an attempt to please him, but with no success?

Maybe it's time you stop trying to change yourself and focus on the real cause of his conduct. If this is new behavior for him and he is between the ages of 35 and 50, your man is blazing a trail through midlife—and he is probably having a crisis. But how do you know for sure? And if it is a crisis, what can you do about it?

A midlife crisis can devour a relationship. It may be devouring yours. The Midlife Wives Club is a supportive sisterhood for midlife mates—a chance to vent some steam, share advice, or just get a reminder that you're not alone. In this guide, you'll find wisdom from both Midlife Wives and experts on: Recognizing the symptoms; Coping with the threat (or reality) of infidelity; Handling bad behavior—thrill-seeking, financial irresp0onsibility, substance abuse; Identifying underlying problems like depression and anger; Deciding when to stick it out—and when to pack it in; Protecting your kids from the fallout; Making it through the crisis...andcoming out stronger, saner, and more self-reliant.

With personal stories from real women (and men) and a comprehensive list of resources, this book can help you get past the rough spots—and turn this tumultuous time into a change for the better.

Pat Gaudette is the founder and webmaster of the Friends & Lovers website (, as well as the popular Midlife Club website ( She is the self-published author of six works of nonfiction including Teen Mom, and one novel.

Gay Courter is the author of five bestselling novels including The Midwife and two works of nonfiction, including I Speak for This Child.

About the Author

Pat Gaudette is the founder and webmaster of the Friends & Lovers website (, as well as the popular Midlife Wives Club website (

Gay Courter is the author of five bestselling novels including The Midwife and two works of nonfiction, including I Speak for This Child.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 795 KB
  • Print Length: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Home & Leisure Publishing, Inc. (7 Mar 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004R1QF98
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #46,442 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

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4.7 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
Is your husband 40+? Has your previously decent, devoted family man started acting oddly? Secretive, remote, dead shark eyes? Suddenly bought a new toy of the sporty variety? Does he look like him, walk like him, talk like him, but has turned into a complete stranger? Has he said 'I don't love you any more?'
This is the book for you. Toss away all those other 'how to nurture your marriage' and find out what REALLY is going on and how you are not alone.

Remember the jokes about men losing their hair and buying sports cars? Well midlife crisis is no joke, not to the distressed unhappy man and not to his shattered family.

This book charts the journey that men undergo as they realise they are not 30 anymore, the destructive choices (alcohol, spending, affairs, divorce) they make as they try to flee the pressure of responsibilities, self-medicate their depression, loneliness, panic and blame ('it's all your fault!'); and what blindsided bewildered wives can do as they try and hold their families together and weather the storm.
There is a website to join where people who are in the middle of the crisis discover to their relief that they are not alone.

Nobody likes facing the fact that they are getting older. Not all men going through midlife transition have a crisis. But for those that do, this book is INVALUABLE in explaining what is happening to him, and it cannot be recommended enough.
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4.0 out of 5 stars No answers for full-blown crisis, but still good 21 Jun 2011
By Joe
I bought this book looking for answers. My husband is in a full-blown mid-life crisis. I know this already. I was hoping that the book would help me find a way to help him through it, but there I was disappointed. I did get comfort from the fact that others have gone through similar situations to mine and I wouldn't want to rate this book negatively, it just didn't help me as much as I had hoped. Another website, mentioned in the book, was useful and the fact that the midlife crisis could actually be a sort of depression which can be combated by medicine. I will suggest this to my husband :-)
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5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars 23 July 2014
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Great book.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 4.4 out of 5 stars  21 reviews
64 of 66 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A wonderful guide through the journey called midlife crisis! 11 Jun 2003
By "mlcsurvivor" - Published on
It is unfortunate that so many marriages are falling prey to midlife crisis (if you want to call it that). Point is our disposable society makes it too easy to divorce. This book is a pratical guide to help you traverse this journey. Not only is the book an easy read and very helful in understanding and keeping yourself in check, it really focuses on learning about yourself and not talking blame for your wayward spouses issues. It helps you be a better you! As well, the website listed is a direct link to others suffering the same things. That site has so much information, one could read for days. There is also chat which is helpful and one bonus is that friends can be made to last a lifetime. This book has it all and I implore anyone in the throes of this anxiety called midlife crisis to read this book and then peruse the site for loving and supportive help. It is a truly a gift to know you are not alone.
32 of 34 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Lifesaver Guide to MLC 3 Jun 2003
By A Customer - Published on
This is an extremely helpful book on the various ways to handle your significant other's (s/o) MLC. Although its focus is on men, it is beneficial to both sexes.
It doesn't just tell you to hang on or act as if as some anti divorce sites suggest. It tells gives you real life stories of various people and how they handled their s/o MLC.
It also shows there is life, no matter which road you take, whether it be riding out the rollercoaster ride, getting a divorce, getting a legal separation or just co-existing until you KNOW what is the right course of action for you.
The book even shows humor in the whole process because when experiencing either your own MLC or someone else' have to be able to find humor.
I highly recommend this book for those going through or being affected by someone with MLC. It's a very easy read and you'll find yourself closely relating to these individuals.
27 of 31 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars A Bit Negative... 24 Oct 2005
By anonymous - Published on
Although informative, this book comes from a very negative place. While some men do participate in affairs during their midlife crisis, there are some who don't, as well as those who come to their senses and want to work on their marriages. For those searching for hope, handling the issue with realistic expectations and integrity, I would suugest Jim and Sally Conway's books, "Men in Midlife Crisis" and "Your Husbands Midlife Crisis."

However, the website that is suggested in the book is worth the purchase price many times over.
23 of 26 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars practical and helpful 3 Jun 2003
By A Customer - Published on
I found this book to be easy to read, and chocked full of practical and sound advice, along with comforting words and stories from others who have been on that journey.
For anyone who has found themselves on a path of confusion, as well as those who are dragged along for the ride, this book will give comfort and hope to many. I have read through it several times, and find something new in it every time. I highly recommend it.
6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A sad but needed book 17 Oct 2011
By M Live - Published on
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This book has many sad stories and unfortunately I feel that most people do not locate such books until the crisis has overwhelmed them. How is it that I, a well-read person, knew so very little about mid-life crisis? This topic isn't discussed sufficiently in our culture as far as I can tell. Finding good books is also difficult.

I ranked this as four stars simply because the beginning has typos and plugs the Midlife Wives Club website repeatedly. With some trouble, I was able to access their site but it was so depressing I didn't return. Sharing one's anguish is sometimes helpful, yet, I was more interested in the psychological motivations triggering the crisis affecting my relationship. In my opinion this book did not actually provide that type of information.

What this book does tell you is that you are not alone. You are bound to read the stories of others that are far worse than your own situation and that may give you some encouragement.

If you are considering this book, I wish you all the very best. I would recommend, besides this book, Gail Sheehy's "Understanding Men's Passages" which explains what typically is happening during a man's mid-life crisis with compassion. "What Could He Be Thinking" by Michael Gurian is excellent in describing the male and female brains and hormones; it sheds light on why we think and feel differently, thereby closing that "imaginary gap" that seems to crop up during the crisis. (It was always there because we are simply very different.) Also, "Why Can't You Read My Mind" (a terrible title) by Jeffrey Bernstein was very helpful. It helped me understand the toxic thoughts that I was having (due to feeling emotional pain) and helped me recapture the positive attitude and emotions I had prior to our crisis. Last, I recommend a very heavy read (with a too tiny font), "Love Online - Emotions on the Internet" by Aaron Ben-Ze'ev. This is a real study of love, sex and relationships in cyberspace and the emotions behind it all. The author does an excellent job of presenting his information without bias or judgment, but it is very intellectual and a rather difficult read for the average person.
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Popular Highlights

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Midlife crisis, on the other hand, defies reasoning. Personal fulfillment becomes more important than family happi­ness. Core values fall by the wayside and suddenly adultery or abandoning your family appear to be acceptable behaviors. Life­long religious beliefs are set aside. Lying—or lies of omission—become easier. And the worst thing is that no amount of logic sways the thinking of the person mired in this tar pit.” &quote;
Highlighted by 17 Kindle users
discussions about your relationship. ~ Take care of yourself and treat yourself with respect. ~ Be true to yourself. &quote;
Highlighted by 14 Kindle users
The fourth male factor is self-involvement. The man is crying out for someone—anyone—to see him, hear him, touch him, feel him. Everyone likes to be appreciated and desired, but Gratch says that “what greed is to capitalism, narcissism is to personal growth.” When a man is self-centered to the detriment of his loved ones, he becomes alienated from them and can rationalize moving on to someone who he thinks will fill his emptiness. &quote;
Highlighted by 14 Kindle users

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