Hilarious and all-together head-scratching, as you find yourself realizing they're talking about something you've been wondering about all along. You may have thought you were the only one undergoing the cruel and unusual punishment of these noxious fumes and stains, but here you find you are not alone... If you're going to read this aloud as a bed-time book or as a book of quotations, you are required by law to read it aloud with an English accent. If you cannot speak with an English accent or if it is terrible beyond measure, please read silently. Don't even mouth the words as you read. If by chance, you meet someone who is talking about smells and stains in a bad English accent, smack him. If he's bigger than you, you may let him off with a warning...or politely kick him and run, because big guys take longer to build up the inertia to accelerate than little guys. If he doesn't catch you and is breathing heavily, then run up to him and smack him. That should get the point across.