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Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder [Kindle Edition]

Paul Mason , Randi Kreger
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)

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Product Description


"This book is urgently needed now that a National Institutes of Health study shows that 6 percent of the general population has borderline personality disorder (BPD). I constantly get requests from families needing resources on BPD, and I recommend "Stop Walking On Eggshells "almost every time. This second edition is really easy to read and packed with even more useful tips for family members in distress." --Bill Eddy, LCSW, attorney, mediator, clinical social worker, and author of "High Conflict People in Legal Disputes "and "Splitting"

Product Description

Do you feel manipulated, controlled, or lied to? Are you the focus of intense, violent, and irrational rages? Do you feel you are "walking on eggshells" to avoid the next confrontation?

If the answer is "yes," someone you care about may have borderline personality disorder (BPD). Stop Walking on Eggshells has already helped nearly half a million people with friends and family members suffering from BPD understand this destructive disorder, set boundaries, and help their loved ones stop relying on dangerous BPD behaviors. This fully revised edition has been updated with the very latest BPD research and includes coping and communication skills you can use to stabilize your relationship with the BPD sufferer in your life.

This compassionate guide will enable you to:

  • Make sense out of the chaos
  • Stand up for yourself and assert your needs
  • Defuse arguments and conflicts
  • Protect yourself and others from violent behavior

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 734 KB
  • Print Length: 288 pages
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 2 edition (1 Jan 2010)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #58,425 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Surviving a borderline breakup 22 Mar 2014
By T Sharp
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I have never written a review of anything in my life before but I felt compelled to do so in this case as this book has been my absolute life line. In fact I fear that I may do the book a disservice as I’m sure I won’t be able to articulate just how much this book has saved me from the depths of depression.

I recently broke up with my boyfriend and have been in agony ever since searching for answers to the madness and confusion of the situation I had found myself in. Throughout the relationship I knew that I was dealing with a highly disturbed individual but I could never put my finger on exactly what was wrong. At times I thought he was suffering from major depression, but then his pathology would change, sometimes within hours. I then considered bipolar but his presentation changed so rapidly that I knew this also to be incorrect. I had never even heard of borderline personality disorder before but after hours of desperately searching for answers on the internet I came across the DSM criteria for borderline personality disorder and found that he met at least 7 of the 9 criteria of this disorder. I was so over joyed that I had finally found an answer to my pain and suffering that I instantly wanted to read more and decided to purchase this book.

This book has been my therapy. I was gobsmacked whilst reading it as it perfectly articulated all the patterns of his behaviour, even down to the things he would say to me. It was just uncanny. This higher intellectual understanding helped me to untwine and depersonalise his cruelty and helped me to see that his behaviour was purely an attempt to shield him from intense emotional pain and not just to hurt me, as I had previously perceived.
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16 of 17 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I found this book to be very informative...for many many years me my brother and sister have never quite understood why our mother has such outbursts of anger over such trivial things, not being able to have our own opinions, being manipulated, controlled and even blackmailed. The mood swings an argument can start over something as small as just looking at her in a certain way and no matter how calm you are and try to diffuse the suituation it can carry on for sometimes up to 2 days...even being silent you cant win...nothing is ever right. Over the years she has split the family keeping us apart...i am now married with 2 grown up children..but it still doesn't stop their...theirs been times my sister has even had to meet me in secret. Friends never seem to believe you beecause things sound so petty but the physical and mental abuse has had a big impact on our lives..and my sister is now receiving counselling which is helping her. Most of the things that happen are behind closed doors and within the is very difficult to get a diagnosis from the sure they think it dosen't exsist we feel like we have been left alone to deal with this...its so difficult to explain and no one sees the outbursts...through our lives mum has taken numerous overdoes.. 2 last year with the second one she nearly died was put on life support for 3 weeks and was in intensive care for 2 months all together she spent 3 months in hospital...when she came home things just carried on the same. This book has explained so much gives a better understanding of someone with BPD it explains exactly the way i feel and the way mum makes me feel...their was just a few things i didn't agree with and one was trying to addapt to the borderline....and that maybe its you thats caused the argument... Read more ›
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37 of 41 people found the following review helpful
This book was very helpful to me. I was in a relationship with someone with BPD and we have two daughters together. The book helped to clarify exactly what is going on with her, in the relationship and with me. It helped me to change my behaviour by simply realising that I was never going to succeed in convincing her of anything or getting understanding from her. I had to let that go. A person with BPD lives in a very different reality to most people. This book was really quite surprising to me because so many of the exact words and exact behaviours which I experienced are listed here exactly as I experienced them. When you get to see with clarity what is going on, which this book helps with very much, you stop falling into the same traps. BPD is a very serious illness, and it is often difficult to recognise it as such because many sufferers (my wife included) seem so normal and intelligent in so many other ways, that it is hard to accept that there is a real intractible, unreachable illness there. The only thing you can do really is set very strong limits and protect yourself and your own rights. The book was helpful in realising that the guilt that I had around the relationship is perfectly normal and forms part of the dynamic of living with someone who is incapable of taking responsibility for themselves and their actions, and lives in a constant (self-protective) fight to cast blame onto those around them for all the ills in their life.
By elucidating the dynamics of a relationship with a BPD sufferer, this book also elucidates a certain aspect of every relationship in an exaggerated form - the aspect of manipulation - which every relationship has in some ways, and as such, this book is also a thought-provoking reflection on relationships, manipulation, personal limits and respect in general. Recommended.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
1.0 out of 5 stars Hateful, bitter and twisted perspective on BDP!!
This book is clearly written by someone who is bitter and twisted by their own experience with someone who has BDP, and is using this as a basis to write biased 'information' book... Read more
Published 9 days ago by K. Leyland
5.0 out of 5 stars This book saved my life
Oh my god, I cannot rate this book high enough. It's saved my life! For 10 years I have been living with a person with BPD, without knowing that is what they had, and thinking I am... Read more
Published 11 days ago by Hannah
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
no complaints
Published 17 days ago by dr y
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
great book,
Published 1 month ago by Gordon Crakse
5.0 out of 5 stars If in doubt, just buy this book.
This book's just invaluable, offering balanced guidance for anyone who is in the difficult position of being in a long term, caring relationship with someone who displays the... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Arrived very quickly
A very good book which is recommended by the mental health profession, very helpful and comprehensive, easy to read, useful tips
Published 2 months ago by Jackie Hilton
5.0 out of 5 stars great read
This book is great reading and it has lots of info,Its a bit of a worry how many of these type of people walk amongst us though !
Published 2 months ago by philip brayshaw
4.0 out of 5 stars Recommend
A helpful insight into borderlines with applicable and useful advice, helping non border lines understand and cope with everyday issues
Published 3 months ago by Adrian Persaud
5.0 out of 5 stars Go with it!
Highly recommended. This helped me turn a relationship around from being full of fear, to full of love. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Tazz Rainbow
4.0 out of 5 stars Hope you never have to read it
It is a well written and researched book and is a great help for any one having to cope with someone who has this terrible condition.
Published 7 months ago by tony lazenby
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Popular Highlights

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their denial is so complete that when they say, “There’s nothing wrong with me; there’s something wrong with you,” they truly believe it. &quote;
Highlighted by 79 Kindle users
People with BPD may unconsciously try to control others by putting them in no-win situations, creating chaos that no one else can figure out, or accusing others of trying to control them. &quote;
Highlighted by 73 Kindle users
You, of course, feel worse. Only now, you also feel baffled because the person with BPD doesn’t seem to understand the impact of what they’ve done. You may also feel frustrated because they never seem to accept responsibility for their own behavior. This cycle happens again and again. &quote;
Highlighted by 71 Kindle users

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