I'm Still Here [Blu-ray]

This film is either a masterpiece which skewers the vacuity of modern celebrity or it's a shallow vanity-project made by people with too much money and time on their hands. But which is it? Blowed if I know.

Spotting the influences of this film is as entertaining, if not more, than the film itself. There's `Borat', `Spinal Tap', `Don't Look Back' and even, dare I say, `The King of Comedy' in there. It's not as good as any of those films, but then again it could be a masterpiece - or is it rubbish? Blowed if I know.

Joaquin Phoenix plays Joaquin Phoenix, an Oscar-nominated, successful actor who decides he doesn't want to be a successful actor any more; instead he wants to look like the fat one out of the Blues Brothers crossed with a member of ZZ Top, and pursue his career through the medium of `rap'. His brother-in-law, (Casey Affleck), played by Casey Affleck, decides to make a film about it.

Who's playing it for real and who's faking? Well, I don't think the expression of polite horror on the face of Mos Def, when JP tells him he wants to be a rapper, can possibly be faked. Then again one certainly hopes that Edward James Olmos is faking it, or else he is an eejit of considerable magnitude. The same goes for Puff Daddy Diddy Coombs, or whatever his name is, I can't imagine he would make himself look such a fool unless it was deliberate?

The film is basically JP hanging out with his waster `friends', talking rubbish, appearing on talk-shows, and attempting to get his rap career off the ground. This culminates in an hilarious scene in a Miami nightclub where he `performs' in front of a somewhat sceptical audience, before attempting to assault a heckler.

Even more horrible than JP's ridiculous, self-indulgent life-style, is the antics of the parasites who swarm around celebrities, and their hideously inflated sense of their own importance. The paparazzi boo JP when he refuses to pose for their silly pictures; a, (presumably genuine?), twerp, from a `fan-site', belittles his career, without a trace of irony or self-consciousness, as 'unimportant' and 'boring'. The mind positively boggles.

I've only given it three stars because it isn't that entertaining; the sub-plot about his `friend' Anton betraying his trust is all a bit dull. I think you should see it though and make your own mind up about it. Maybe it is a great film - but then again it could be junk. Blowed if I know.

In 2009, the movie world was confused and in uproar as Joaquin Phoenix announced that he would be retiring from acting, and that 2008's Two Lovers would be his final appearance on screen. To add a touch more of the bizarre into the mix, Phoenix would also be pursuing his apparent lifelong dream of being a rapper. His good friend and brother-in-law Casey Affleck would film everything, and as the pounds piled onto Phoenix, and his beard grew even more ridiculous, it gradually became obvious that this in fact was a big joke.

So the film itself follows Phoenix from his initial announcement of retirement from acting, to his attempts at getting a meeting with rap mogul P. Diddy, in order for him to produce his album. In between this, we see him self-destruct as the realisation hits him that he is indeed a crap rapper, and that everyone considers him a joke, from celebrities (Ben Stiller, David Letterman), to his best friend who ends up betraying him. We also see Phoenix sniffing cocaine from the breast of a stripper, fall of a stage whilst doing a rap gig, and have someone s**t on his face while he sleeps.

The big question is - what's the point? Well, it's quite an intelligent commentary of the nature of celebrity, and how people can buy into anything that they're told. Phoenix and Affleck apparently came up with the idea when they discovered that audiences didn't realise that 'reality' shows were scripted. The other important question is - does it work? Given Phoenix's heroic commitment to the film and the physical and mental strain he must have endured for the cause, you would hope so. Disappointingly, the answer is a resounding no.

Don't get me wrong, moments of this film I found bordered on absolute genius. Joaquin Phoenix's performance, for example, is simply breathtaking. You have to admire the way he completely gives himself over to the performance. Certain scenes where he is ranting about the way he is being perceived in the press, or he bounces around excitedly snorting cocaine awaiting for the arrival of prostitutes, you would be forgiven for not thinking twice that this was indeed reality.

But I think that is the main problem - it is too convincing. While other mockumentary's such as This Is Spinal Tap or Borat, are extremely funny while always maintaining the edge of realism, this film is not funny. This of course would be fine if the film was dramatic or absorbing, but it's neither of these things. It is at times very annoying, and often quite uncomfortable viewing, and the film has trouble maintaining a straight narrative.

After thinking about the film afterwards, I can't deny that its initial idea is interesting. Before the film, I could take or leave Joaquin Phoenix as an actor. He had never really overly impressed me with any of his performances, and I felt his most celebrated performance as Johnny Cash in Walk The Line, was only a great impression, not a great performance. But after this film, I'll be intrigued to see where his career turns to next, and I'll probably watch anything he does. It is disappointing, if not unsurprising, that he was overlooked an Oscar nomination for his performance here.

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I'm still here is a documentary/mockumentary on Joaquin Phoenix's (Walk the Line) retirement from acting, filmed by his brother-in-law, Casey Affleck. Joaquin plays himself and is purportedly making this movie to announce his retirement from acting to concentrate on his hip-hop career. The documentary follows Joaquin Phoenix around as he makes public appearances, promotes the last of his films and publicly announces his move into music.

Well, where to begin? Long before the final cut of this film was made, the media-world at large was documenting Joaquin Phoenix's irrational behaviour, his dishevelled appearance and general flippancy towards paparazi. I was even concerned for the man after I heard about his stage-fall and consequent facial scarring, as a result - if you read the news stories, or follow celebrity gossip at all, you have already seen and heard everything this film is going to show you.

After seeing the characters Phoenix is capable of acting, it's really sad to see it come down to this; he makes some flimsy comments about the reasons he wants to stop acting, blaming it on the whole experience being derivative and he is just a puppet who is told to "stand here and say this and that" but the end result is that this is the best part of two hours watching Joaquin Phoenix smoke, drink and devolve into a hobo, except for the fact that unlike a hobo, he gets fatter.

If I were a film-maker I would never put my name on this piece of dross, the entire thing is filmed on handheld cameras and is shaky, grainy, blurry, the sound is resonant in the microphone casing - it's just a mess, top-to-bottom. Many of the scenes, Joaquin isn't even looking at the camera but the lens dilligently follows him around as he paces and smokes in his ubiquitous blue hoody. Affleck and Phoenix seem to be under the impression that this is edgy and sells, but it doesn't - it just reeks of lack of effort.

In conclusion, I apologise if I have seethed here but this film is extremely poor and when you are aware of the talent that Joaquin Phoenix possesses it is just sad to see him throw it all away because it's not creative, what's more insulting is that despite Phoenix's insistence he doesn't want to make anymore money, they are selling I'm Still Here as a DVD release, if he really meant it then he would be stood on the street handing it out. What's sadder still, is that he is not scheduled to appear in any films at all in the future (either pre-production or rumoured!!) and if his retirement really is the truth, then what a way to go out, making the world remember you for the worst and not the stellar performances of Gladiator & Walk the Line.

If you rarely listen to reviews, make an exception for this one, I implore you: don't waste your money, look elsewhere for some entertainment!!